The Crusader (Public Service Announcement)

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

I'll be honest, the reason why a full edition of this hasn't come out is that I'm actually not sure if it's actually proper for me to do it.

In retrospect some mistakes made a while ago probably did cross the line in terms of what is actually appropiate, something I do feel rather guilty of. As I've taken on a more active role dealing with appropiate content on the board (racism, personal attacks, trolling and so) I've actually wondered if it's not rather... contradictory to be at the same time policing inappropiate content but producing a newspaper/satire news media that could also fall into that stuff without intending to.

So yeah, I'm still meditating what to do with The Crusader. I'd appreciate some feedback if anyone has an opinion on it, but still haven't decided what to do here.

Let me put it this way, I would rather have a board moderator that is involved in the game than one that is not.

Hot take: If there is a conflict, Keep the paper, resign the modship.

I mean, the only other Atlasia moderator is Gustaf, which I think is a fairly inactive mod? Though he was technically involved in Atlasia way back in the day, even being Atlasia's 2nd president

Atlasia isn't exactly one of the hardest boards to moderate I imagine (although it's getting worse lately?). But I agree it's best to have someone involved. Then again most mods are involved with Atlasia in at least some capacity, even if it's only as a zombie voter.

MasterJedi was moderator of the board from 2006 until 2015. He was active in the game until 2009 but after that, Gustaf was more active of the two.

[P. Clodius Pulcher did nothing wrong]

I think you do a good job balancing moderating with playing. Thanks for being honest about your concerns, but if you're asking then I say: keep up the good work!

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

I'll be honest, the reason why a full edition of this hasn't come out is that I'm actually not sure if it's actually proper for me to do it.

In retrospect some mistakes made a while ago probably did cross the line in terms of what is actually appropiate, something I do feel rather guilty of. As I've taken on a more active role dealing with appropiate content on the board (racism, personal attacks, trolling and so) I've actually wondered if it's not rather... contradictory to be at the same time policing inappropiate content but producing a newspaper/satire news media that could also fall into that stuff without intending to.

So yeah, I'm still meditating what to do with The Crusader. I'd appreciate some feedback if anyone has an opinion on it, but still haven't decided what to do here.

I've never felt anything published in the Crusader has crossed the line when it comes to personal attacks. As for trolling —well, who here is innocent? I'd much rather have quality publications like the Crusader than take a hard line on this issue.

[Lumine]

Thank you all for the feedback! The painfully unfunny satire continues.

EPISODE I

The Southern Menace

Turmoil has engulfed the
Atlasian Republic. The taxation
of trade routes to outlying regions
is in great dispute.

Hoping to escalate the matter
and own Fremont and Lincoln with logic
and facts, the greedy Chamber of Delegates
will not lift tariffs if the regions
do not recognise their Confederate flag.

While most of the of the Republic
endlessly trolls the new confederates,
the Commonwealth of Fremont has
dispatched Truman and Scott,
guardians of peace and justice in
the region, to settle the conflict…

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

Don't blame Me, I voted Option 4.

[Terry the Fat Shark]

facts don't care about your regional affiliation!

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

facts don't care about your regional affiliation!

I would like to harness facts for political purposes.

[Deep Dixieland Senator, Muad'dib (OSR MSR)]

the greedy Chamber of Delegates
will not lift tariffs if the regions
do not recognise their Confederate flag.

LOL

Lumine, I see you aren't letting the facts get in the way of spinning a "good yarn".
We don't have tariffs and the flag that won the referendum isn't a confederate flag.
At least Scott is a guardian of peace.

Unlike Harry "Lebensraum" Truman :

Time for Frémont to invade, I guess!

e. The South passes legislation immediately ceding Kansas to the Commonwealth of Frémont.
f. The South passes legislation transferring all territory west of the Mississippi River to Frémontian jurisdiction within one year of its passage.

[AustralianSwingVoter]

the greedy Chamber of Delegates
will not lift tariffs if the regions
do not recognise their Confederate flag.

LOL

Lumine, I see you aren't letting the facts get in the way of spinning a "good yarn".
We don't have tariffs and the flag that won the referendum isn't a confederate flag.
At least Scott is a guardian of peace.

Unlike Harry "Lebensraum" Truman :

Time for Frémont to invade, I guess!

e. The South passes legislation immediately ceding Kansas to the Commonwealth of Frémont.
f. The South passes legislation transferring all territory west of the Mississippi River to Frémontian jurisdiction within one year of its passage.

Someone doesn't understand what satire is.

[Deep Dixieland Senator, Muad'dib (OSR MSR)]

Someone doesn't understand what satire is.

LOL

[AustralianSwingVoter]

Someone doesn't understand what satire is.

LOL

Joy of joys, for what feels like the first time ever you haven't posted in a weird slightly too big font size.

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

Harry "Lebensraum" Truman

*waves*

[Lumine]

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the War Room! Let's change the perspective though:

EPISODE II

Attack of the Truman

There is unrest in the Regions.
Fremont officeholders have
declared their intention to continue
mocking the South over the flag issue
and annex the region.

This expansionist movement, under
the leadership of the fallen guardian
Count Truman, has made it difficult
for the brave Southern delegates
to maintain tariffs and order
in the Confederacy South.

Deputy Speaker Muaddib, the South's
new hope, is returning to the
Chamber of Delegates to vote on
the critical issue of dropping the
flag recognition demand...

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

r/FrémontDidNothingWrong

[Lumine]

July 16th, 2019

Girlfriend, you are so on!

Yankee opens campaign for reelection to the Senate,
Marianne Williamson reference hits Atlasians out of nowhere

Liberals, Assemble

Ninja revives the old Liberal Party,
Party suffers first split after ASV joins and leaves?

Trade Wars at an end?

U. S. ("Unconditional Surrender") Truman smashes the south's resistance,
Confederate Southern politicians prepare to surrender

Gambling and Drinking on the rise

Thousands of grateful citizens applaud Yankee and AZ,
how long until drunken Atlasian PM's multiply?

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

The thought of Truman as Union General is hilarious, even more so because the real Harry Truman referred to himself on several occasions as an "Unreconstructed Democrat", with obvious connotations.


It was a different time.

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

I don't know about the rest of y'all, but I am collecting the best nicknames in this thread!

[Boobs]

For the record I would like to say that I had dipped into Marianne Williamson references before Yankee did.

"I'm sorry we haven't talked more tonight about how we're going to defeat YoungTexan. I have an idea about YoungTexan: YoungTexan is not going to be beaten just by insider politics talks. He's not going to be beaten just by somebody who has plans. He's going to be beaten by somebody who has an idea what this man has done; this man has reached into the psyche of the Atlasian people, and he has harnessed Discord for political purposes.

So, Mr. Governor, if you're listening, I want you to hear me please. You have harnessed Discord for political purposes and only love can cast that out. So I, sir, I have a feeling you know what you're doing. I'm going to harness love for political purposes. I will meet you on that field and, sir, love will win."

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

I would say it is more accurate to say Discord has harnessed Atlasia for meme purposes.

[P. Clodius Pulcher did nothing wrong]

Pretty sure I made this my signature before both of your Williamson shout-outs

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

Pretty sure I made this my signature before both of your Williamson shout-outs

Your signature actually gave me the idea. That and the Newsweek article I read at work.

[Boobs]

Pretty sure I made this my signature before both of your Williamson shout-outs

Girlfriend, you are so on, because my quote was on June 28th. You made it your signature July 1st.

[Lumine]

The Tradesburg Address

Fremonters and Confederates end the Trade War

Half one score and five years ago
the old players brought forth on this board, a new game,
conceived in Activity, and dedicated to the proposition that
all trade should be fair and free.

Now we are ending a great trade war,
testing whether that game, or any game so concieved
and so dedicated, can long endure.

We are met at the great legislative board of that war.
We have come to dedicate a portion of this board
as a final resting place for those who here gave their
time and youth, that Fair and Free Trade might live.
It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in an Atlasian sense, we cannot dedicate,
we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this board.
The brave players, online and offline, who struggle here,
have consecreated it, far above our limited power to legislate.
The Atlas Forum will little note, nor long remember what is said here,
but it can never forget what they did here.

It is for us the active, rather, to be devoted here
to the unfinished commercial guidelines which they
who played here have thus far so nobly advanced.

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task
remaining before us, that from those honored players
we take increased obsession to that cause for which they
gave the greatest sacrifice and waste of youth, that
we here highly resolve that these players shall not have
gone in vain, that this game, under Dave, shall have
a new birth of commerce, and that government of the
players, by the players, for the players, shall not perish
from the board.

[DKrol]

A copy of the Tradesburg Address will be printed and displayed proudly in my Councilman's Office.

[Lumine]

Note: I’ve always liked Private Eye (a satirical magazine from the UK) and it’s long-running parodies of British Prime Ministers following certain themes (Blair as a sanctimonious vicar, Brown as a North Korean leader, Cameron and May as school headmasters), so I’ll be giving it a try in the near time – not sure whether it will be a continuation of this or something else -. In any case, official administration parodies (of this and the next ones) are intended to be satire – near absurdist satire – instead of anything even remotely serious or any sort of factual reporting.

Fire and Fury in Atlasia

₁

Episode I: The Squad

Firebrands oppose controversial President

Branded “The Squad” by the fake news media

“Go back to real life!”, says President

There’s fire and fury in the corridors of power in Atlasia.

Daily controversies overshadow important issues for the future of the country. Renowned for his abrasive behavior, a successful mentality of victory at all costs and by describing his opposition in harsh terms, the President – known to his friend as “The Adam”, on account of his boisterous personality – and his allies in the White House have begun an offensive against a group of four young conservatives from the Federalist Party and the Atlas Conservative Party, parties which the White House has casted as the Radical Right, and described as being both insane and in cahoots with the Yankee Deep State and the Fake Crusader Media due to their attempts to ruin the great nation of Atlasia and submerge it into evil neocon rule.

Representative Fhtagn, Delegates Muaddib and DeadPrez, and citizen LouisvilleThunder have all been targeted by the President and characterized by the media a single group, now known as “The Squad”. These four conservatives come from different backgrounds and ethnicities and have expressed their constant disagreement with the old Federalist establishment of Senator Yankee (known as “Yawning Yankee” to the President), as well as with the policies of the administration. Having a permanent presence in the news and in social media, all four have faced their own share of controversies in the past, DeadPrez getting into trouble over a perceived enthusiasm for impeachment and LouisvilleThunder facing his own share of gaffes about the Labor-Federalist conflict.

And for his own part, “The Adam” has faced trouble over his description of Congresswoman Fhtagn, which many have characterized as sexist and out of touch, as well as over his latest remarks. Fighting the President and his rhetoric on a number of issues, “The Squad” has often described “The Adam” as mean, unfocused and presidential, to which the President has reacted with a series of public appearances rallying his base against the would-be challengers and arguing that these unpatriotic enemies should “Go back to real life!” to the “totally broken, crime infested America from where they came from”. This was followed by an energy-charged speech in which the President rallied his base with a cry of “Send them back!” that reminded observers of his “Lock him Up!” chants against controversial nominee Young Texan in the emotional June 2019 Presidential Election.

Focusing his fire on his nemesis, the President described The Squad as “inactive crackpots” and went after Congresswoman Fhtagn in particular, arguing she did not “stand for the values of the people of Atlasia”, Fhtagn countering back by stating that “Atlasia belongs to everyone”, chastising the President for wanting the players to return to their real lives in America. Holding a press conference in Nyman, Muaddib encouraged the public “not to take the bait”, branding the President’s comments as a disruptive distraction; DeadPrez stated that: “I’m not going anywhere, not until I impeach this President”; and LouisvilleThunder closed the event by stating that President's agenda was “the agenda of radical laborites, which has now reached the White House”.

It remains to be seen how “The Squad” will attempt to fight the White House and how the President will counter such opposition as well, particularly as the debate over fiscal responsibility and the Paygo rule continues to attract discussion.

______________________________________________________________

^{1.) Original Image:
Congresswomen Rashida Tlaib, Ilhan Omar, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ayanna Pressley, also known as ‘the Squad’, Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/EPA, modified for arguably unfunny Atlasia satire.}