LIFE AND DEATH NOTIFICATION

[Alcon]

As the Deputy Secretary of Forum Affairs, a position critical to national security and the well-being of children, I am obligated to announce that I will be in absentia starting tomorrow afternoon and continuing until probably Sunday.

I will be attending a conference in Redmond, Wash., and staying at a hotel in nearby Bellevue.

Anyone who has any urgent need to contact me during this time should take a long, hard look at what they're doing with their life, or send me a PM.

I may be on AIM a bit, but my days will be pretty packed.

Don't start any cool wars until I come back, all.

[Gabu]

Say hi to Bill Gates for me (we're hardcore cool now).

[Alcon]

He actually may be there this year, although he's always off somewhere else.

Last year, though, we had this Canadian PowerPoint guy who, I swear to God, looked exactly like him.  It was mind-blowing.

[Gabu]

He actually may be there this year, although he's always off somewhere else.

Last year, though, we had this Canadian PowerPoint guy who, I swear to God, looked exactly like him.  It was mind-blowing.

No one is supposed to know of our plan to replace Bill Gates with a Canadian version of him.  You must be disposed of.