The Nyman Questioner (DFW BOMBSHELL)
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Author Topic: The Nyman Questioner (DFW BOMBSHELL)  (Read 7256 times)
JustinTimeCuber
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« Reply #25 on: August 09, 2017, 04:57:35 PM »

If elected to the senate I will persue reform to the FEA.
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Wells
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« Reply #26 on: August 09, 2017, 06:12:20 PM »

I am posting these stories on behalf of our chief political analyst.



Category: Underexaggerated News
THE RAMBLINGS OF A FAILURE; THE DELUSIONS OF A HAS-BEEN
Written by: Isaac Cummings

OUR AUGUST PRESIDENT seems have finally recovered from his recent… indiscretions.  However, all of his attention seems to have been caught up in attacking the freedom of the press rather than doing the job that he was elected to do.  Apparently issues like healthcare have been swept aside in order for our so called President to focus on attacking our beloved constitution; indeed, even privately demanding that the freedom of the press be removed!  The people of Atlasia ought to be wondering how such a blatently un-Atlasian person got elected to the highest office in the land – and indeed, why our elected politicians are doing nothing about this?

Well, if the moneysuckers of Nyman won’t, the Questioner will.  I wish to announce our latest campaign; the #DraftCyborg campaign.  Since this President is so determined to cling on to that office for the rest of his life, we need someone who can stand up to our corrupt establishment, and who better than the person who in one swift punch managed to floor him last week?  I call on all our readers to please tweet their support for this campaign using the hashtag #DraftCyborg, so we can get a President who’ll truly fight for this country – in more ways than one!

FAILED POLITICIAN Justin T. Cuber is trying to join the Nyman gravy train after a failed campaign for re-election last month.  The entirely of his Senate campaign is based on a campaign to amend Atlasia’s election laws, after their contradictory nature (obvious to anyone with half a brain, but clearly not to our elected politicians who seem to prefer bar brawling) which may sound noble, but my sources in the Cuber campaign tell me worrying stories about the commitment of the former speaker is to that aim.

“He’s even worse than Ms Peebs” says my very trustworthy source.  “I mean the man stops listening when we start talking about policy and takes a Rubik’s Cube out of his pocket; he’s never read the Elections Act”.  She also told me how long it took him to finish the cube; but I will keep that information private as to not embarrass the soon to be failed Senate candidate – although I will say that it does take a long time to peel the stickers off and put them back on again.



Category: Underexaggerated News
STOP PRESS: PRESIDENT AND CABINET MEMBER IN SORDID LOVE TRIANGLE?
Written by: Isaac Cummings

Details are incredibly sketchy about this, but my sources are telling me of another scandal ripping through the White House today.

The President and his Internal Secretary have been involved in a long term affair for months now – ever wonder why the lovely Frank defected parties so easily? – but the talk running through the corridors of the White House is the potential shock involvement of Southern Speaker Timmy Turner in the relationship?

Indeed, I have an audiotape of a private conversation had by Timmy in his private office last week, where he seemed to be mourning the loss of his special colleague.  “I miss Frank”, he says in this recording; “She really whipped us into shape”.

I also wish to note that two of these candidates have claimed in their recent campaigns to stand up for family values.  Now I don’t think that Polygamy is at all bad; but I don’t think that is an opinion publically held by all three of the people that are involved in this scandal.  Indeed, the one that probably has the most to lose from this is Speaker Timmy – after all; his squeaky clean image is his trade, and when you remove that, what does he truly have?
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Southern Delegate and Atlasian AG Punxsutawney Phil
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« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2017, 06:26:30 PM »

Yes, I miss the days Fhtagn was Speaker in a clear and specific way. I learned the virtue of activity. Fhtagn introduced me to that. She taught the crop of delegates which I was part of of this. That is nothing to be ashamed of - activity is the lifeblood of the game.
Are you trying to be Atlasia's equivalent of the National Enquirer by misreporting on this issue?
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Coraxion
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« Reply #28 on: August 09, 2017, 06:41:17 PM »

Category: Real News
BREAKING: MCDONALD'S RESTAURANT IN NYMAN DISGUISE FOR WHORE HOUSE; DFW AND CO. INVOLVED

Written by: Cora Xion

Concerned residents of Nyman have told the Questioner about suspicious activity in and around a local McDonald's restaurant, so our team went undercover to investigate. Their findings, as well as what sources close to the President tell us, indicate that the restaurant is the location of a prostitution ring, and that President DFW is involved. The President has been seen at the restaurant numerous times, as have several of his cabinet officials and staff. There has also been a recent surge of missing child reports in the area, indicating that the situation may be much worse than we think.

The Nyman Questioner will give updates on "Burgergate" (the name those on social media have given this scandal) as we get more information.
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Free April Daniels
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« Reply #29 on: August 09, 2017, 06:43:21 PM »

Let's McFreakin' lose it.
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Wells
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« Reply #30 on: August 09, 2017, 06:46:51 PM »
« Edited: August 09, 2017, 07:07:30 PM by Governor Wells »

TNQ Special Announcement

We would like to welcome or newest reporter Ted Bessell and our newest intern Peebs.

We would also like to say Sad you to President D. F. W. Liberty Lover, a tabloid was our idea, you can't steal it just because you're jealous.
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IceAgeComing
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« Reply #31 on: August 09, 2017, 07:06:19 PM »

Yes, I miss the days Fhtagn was Speaker in a clear and specific way. I learned the virtue of activity. Fhtagn introduced me to that. She taught the crop of delegates which I was part of of this. That is nothing to be ashamed of - activity is the lifeblood of the game.
Are you trying to be Atlasia's equivalent of the National Enquirer by misreporting on this issue?

The least we can expect is for the politicians that we pay our hard-earned money to is that they show up for work; the fact that some seek election without being aware of that is incredibly troubling, and is condemned by The Questioner.

We are an independent news organisation that seeks to report the news that others are scared to.  We are apolitical and examine everyone, unlike our competition who are merely the press arm of the Presidency.  We stand by all of our reporting, and would suggest that the legal system is available if you feel challenged - although we refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram if you elect to go down that route.
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Wells
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« Reply #32 on: August 09, 2017, 07:07:11 PM »

Category: Underexaggerated News
D. F. W. BUYS IN, THE ENQUIRER SELLS OUT
Written by: Isaac Cummings

THE PRESIDENT seems to have found another plan in his attack against free journalism – merely setting up his own state news company.

The failing Atlasian Enquirer – who recently had to sell their offices to Goodwill to cover their rising debts - was purchased by the President last night.  He reportedly plans to cover the news in a light acceptable to the regime, and attack independent news organisations like the Nyman Questioner.  Sources say that this is in response to rising support of the #DraftCyborg campaign; which trended on twitter last night.

The first issue showed no improvement from recent editions, containing a series of deluded rants about Questioner staff, attacks on the President’s political opponents, and the usual scurrilous content contained within the pages of the Enquirer.

This shows how scared the President is of the Questioner, and the truths that we have revealed about his personal life.  If he feels the need to buy a failing newspaper just to get a positive voice in the press, then how committed is he to the values that we all hold dear?  If he continues this attack against the Freedom of the Press, then what other rights will he take away from the people of Atlasia?  Will he also buy the failing Star and try to monopolise the money-losing newspaper industry?  Surely these irrational actions are those of a man who is incapable of serving as President?

The Questioner has only ever stood on one aim: to tell the truths that others are too scared to tell.  Clearly the President doesn’t want the truth told, so seeks to run those willing to tell it out of business.  We call upon all upstanding Atlasians to rally against such un-patriotic actions – as our new sponsors have.

We contacted the Enquirer for comment, but they had just been evicted from their temporary offices so we were unable to get a reply.
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Southern Delegate and Atlasian AG Punxsutawney Phil
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« Reply #33 on: August 09, 2017, 07:55:51 PM »

Yes, I miss the days Fhtagn was Speaker in a clear and specific way. I learned the virtue of activity. Fhtagn introduced me to that. She taught the crop of delegates which I was part of of this. That is nothing to be ashamed of - activity is the lifeblood of the game.
Are you trying to be Atlasia's equivalent of the National Enquirer by misreporting on this issue?

The least we can expect is for the politicians that we pay our hard-earned money to is that they show up for work; the fact that some seek election without being aware of that is incredibly troubling, and is condemned by The Questioner.

We are an independent news organisation that seeks to report the news that others are scared to.  We are apolitical and examine everyone, unlike our competition who are merely the press arm of the Presidency.  We stand by all of our reporting, and would suggest that the legal system is available if you feel challenged - although we refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram if you elect to go down that route.
your story, regardless of any claims you make about the quality of your reporting, advertises false statements as true. You clearly didn't do your job correctly.
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Wells
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« Reply #34 on: August 09, 2017, 09:20:49 PM »

Category: Underexaggerated News
Peebs In Dire Danger?
Written by: Mike Wells

It has come to my attention that our newspaper's intern Peebs has come under attack from an unlikely source - The National Enquirer. They posted a story in which they claimed Peebs had been jailed, which I found highly suspect as Peebs has been in IRC almost all the time. Could she have been in jail too? I find it hard to believe she could be in two places at once. What I found even weirder is that he referred to Peebs as Mrs. This seems unlikely as well - Peebs herself said so. Then we found these quotes by Peebs herself:

21:38   Peebs   i need to figure out how to sue doof for having me get hitched without my knowledge

21:53   wells   Who are you married to peebs?
21:54   Peebs   claire told me martin, but the most implication is "*mrs* peebs"

Did our president (whom Peebs refers to as "doof") force Peebs into a marriage with a domestic terrorist who kidnapped her to fulfill disturbing fantasies full of Stockholm Syndrome? Will she actually sue? What does this mean about his relationship with Frank? What are the implications of this for the missing people in Burgergate?

Regardless of the answers to these questions, we ask that everyone show their support to Peebs in this difficult time for her.
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Terry the Fat Shark
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« Reply #35 on: August 09, 2017, 09:22:41 PM »

Actually I told her it was AZ because AZ is the one who had her kidnapped in the first place Wink
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Poirot
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« Reply #36 on: August 09, 2017, 10:03:30 PM »

I love it.

Though in fairness to Peebs, nobody really understands what the FEA means, because it is a flaming pile of sh*t.

If FEA is Federal Electoral Act, I think it was a copy of the Elections Handbook on the wiki, As a citizen I pointed out old references that needed to be removed and maybe word changes. I also made some suggestions to the substance but I don't remember if some were accepted. Besides Tmth who acted to have an electoral act before the federal election, I don't recall many contributions to improve the bill. I don't know why people were not more involved. If people don't like the law they can blame the first congress and first administration after the reboot.   
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Mike Thick
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« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2017, 03:41:49 AM »

I was a Federalist bigwig during the first Congress. The excitement about controlling everything gradually turned into frustration with Congressional inactivity (particularly from the dearly departed tmth). I distinctly remember saying to the guys something about how we had focused too much on ideological balance and not enough on their actual ability to do well in a legislative body -- activity, general knowledge, ability to play nice with colleagues and leaders, etc. I don't even remember who our guys were, and that doesn't even begin to encompass the whole situation, but was kind of emblematic of the problems we faced post-reset: to fill the new federal jobs created by the ConCon, everyone had to promote people with limited Atlasian experience to important positions at a time when experience was needed more than ever.
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Wells
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« Reply #38 on: August 10, 2017, 03:52:32 PM »

Category: Editorial
Our Endorsement For Southern Senator: Justin T. Cuber

In troubling times like these we need strong leadership in our capitols. We need confidence in the knowledge of our elected officials. But what we most especially need are politicians we can trust. This is why we are endorsing Justin T. Cuber for the Senate, and encourage all Southern citizens to vote for him if they want good leadership in their capital of Nashville.

Yes, most Southern citizens believe in the rights of regions, so they must also realize that in order for them to succeed, they need strong leadership on a regional level. Why send Sue Wo to the Senate when you can keep him right here, away from the corrupt quagmire that is Nyman? Do you think that he won't change once he gets a taste of the extreme power you are giving him? It is much better to send someone there whose character is already a perfect match for the warehouse of destruction between Maryland and Virginia.

Do you trust people who cheat at Rubik's cubes? Do you want delegates who are ignorant of the the laws and policies they are endorsing, writing, or enforcing? Do you want someone who is a complete Labor hack in our Chamber? If you answered "no" to any one of these questions, then make sure to vote for Justin T. Cuber this weekend. At least if he's there, he can't run rampant in the Chamber of Delegates again!

Send Cuber away, keep Sue Wo at home!
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Wells
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« Reply #39 on: August 10, 2017, 06:56:33 PM »

Category: Editorial
Our Endorsement For Fremont Senator: Henry Wallace

He's the only person on the ballot so idk who else you would vote for.
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Wells
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« Reply #40 on: August 10, 2017, 08:00:18 PM »

Category: Underexaggerated News
Cora's Candidacy Crushed By Corruption
Written by: Isaac Cummings and Mike Wells

Not only do the Nyman elite seek to control what you can do; they also seek to control who you are allowed to vote for.

My sources within the Labor party tell me that the only reason for Cora’s dropping out of the House and Fremont Commons elections was a dictat from up high in the Labour party – indeed, possibly from the Chairman himself. This would help to explain the baffling situation of a candidate announcing a run, and then instantly pulling out shortly thereafter. Our evidence comes in the form of these IRC logs obtained by our Editor-In-Chief:

16:56   Cora   Yes, Windjammer told me not to run.

Chief Injustice Windjammer appears to have ordered Cora to remove his name from the House ballot; and all good people should reject such blatant political intimidation. The fact that it comes from the Chief Justice; the guardian of our glorious constitution; shows just how toxic the Nyman swamp is.

Sure; some might say that decision was not motivated by anything other than the fact that the ALP already had five announced candidates – but why wouldn’t we have a primary if that was the case? The voters ought to have the right to reject such an awful candidate, rather than the decision being made by the corrupt elites.

The Questioner stands for democracy and our constitution – and we believe that all should be allowed to stand for whatever office they wish.  If our two big parties – and don’t be deluded, both sides do it, just look at the awful discrimination against the Liberal Democrats, a case to be decided by the Chairman of the Labor party no less – think that they have the right to control who you are allowed to vote for; we all need to show them that is wrong. Because if we don’t stop that, what is next – will the two big parties seek to tell us that we can’t go to our favourite Hipster Christian church, or that we can’t have a drink after work?

It is this sort of party manipulaton that elected the President that we have – a President so power mad that he seeks to attack the independent media and those that report the truth about him. That is something that The Questioner will always stand up to, because the public have the right to know.

What will Chief Injustice of the Supreme Court be up to next? We can't be sure, but it is clear that he won't be pleased by this:

16:55   Cora   Anyway, I'm going to tell Windjammer to go f[censored]k himself and run for something.
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LLR
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« Reply #41 on: August 12, 2017, 01:02:50 PM »

Roger Dreckman is proud
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Mike Thick
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« Reply #42 on: August 13, 2017, 06:59:37 PM »

Opinion: Nuke Nyman
By Ted Bessell


Our country is in crisis. While President Dfw won over 60% of the vote nationwide, he got 0% in Nyman, the center of our nation's lawmaking. Similarly, the Federalist slate of Congressmen received no votes there -- despite Federalist politicians being only slightly less socialist than those on the other side of the aisle. The waters of the Potomac are like the urine of Satan after he forgets to flush, leaving a brownish film over our capital city and corroding the hearts and minds of our nation's leaders, while creating a gnarly smell as Real America is bathed in an ocean of the globalists' swampy yellow fluid. We need to clean our country's messy toilet -- with a nuclear bomb.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. Wouldn't this cost millions of innocent lives, Ted? How would America's economy and government survive a nuclear attack on its capital city? How could you be such a f**king monster? I will answer your question with a question: can you take the pole out of your atheist ass and go back to drinking halal avocado toast lattes in your Prius while Twittering about "homosexual rights" and "diversity?" Real Americans are at work here, and we want change -- change from atoms into unbound subatomic particles.

First of all, "drain the swamp" is a common phrase in American politics today -- but what you may not know is that it refers to the common practice of digging channels in swamps to get rid of mosquitos. However, times are changing, and there are more modern methods of moving water -- like, for example, converting it into a superheated cloud of radioactive steam. Our nation has always been a global technological leader, and there's no reason that we shouldn't do it now.

This country needs a change. A change of leadership, a change of setting, and a change of pace. And, we ask you this -- what better way is there to bring our nation's leaders closer to their constituents than turning them into radioactive ash that will blow west -- towards their constituents. Nuking Nyman is the best way, the only way, to restore our nation.
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Lach
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« Reply #43 on: August 13, 2017, 07:15:30 PM »

LOL
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Wells
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« Reply #44 on: August 21, 2017, 05:58:48 PM »

Category: Real News
FRAUD AND RESIGNATION
Written by: Mike Wells

PRIME MINISTER HARRY TRUMAN maintains his chokehold on Fremont after this weekend's elections, despite stiff competition from Wulfric. As this was a two-person race there is no way that Fremont's elections can be labelled as a sham, right?

WRONG! Truman won with a whopping 89% of the vote. This number is astonishingly high, and some people such as ourselves might claim that there was some of what is commonly called "funny business" behind the scenes. Sadly, results like this are becoming increasingly common, despite how they cast doubt on the legitimacy of victory. Just two months ago, D. F. W. Liberty Lover had a 40 point victory over Clyde by supposedly legal means. And two weekends ago, ZuWo amassed 81% of Southern voters, sadly becoming a swamp creature like the rest of them.

Skeptics will say that big victories don't necessarily mean fraud. They are right, they merely strongly suggest it. And after careful digging, we discovered this quote by Wulfric, Truman's "competition": "I am announcing my candidacy for Fremont Prime Minister, not necessarily because I think I can win, but to avoid a North Korean 'only-one-choice' situation." We believe that this quote means Truman does have opposition in Fremont - but it is highly controlled. And if Truman can sink to controlled opposition, surely he could sink to voter fraud. To those who doubt that voter fraud could occur in Atlasia, read on for more!



SENATOR A. SCOTT has managed to hold on to his Senate seat, despite a valiant attempt to unseat him by Louis V. Thunder. But was it really so valiant? We point to evidence that severe fraud occurred in the election, including to subsequent votes by Polly Master and Adam President, who just an hour apart simply established themselves as Lincoln citizens and cast an illegal vote. It was almost as if their votes were requested - despite the fact that their votes would be illegal. We would also like to note that according to the laws on the books in Lincoln, LouisvilleThunder could not legally vote for himself as well - but he did so anyway!

Louis V. Thunder denies that he had anything to do with any of the voter fraud besides the one he committed, which he also happens to contest. However, an anonymous informant informed us that they asked Mr. Master why he voted for Louis V. Thunder. The response was that Thunder requested his vote!

Some may wonder who even cares since it didn't affect the outcome, but to that we simply point out that it would have made a 12% difference to the margin - enough to flip this weekend's House results if similar scale fraud went undetected there. This is outrageous and we believe that we should do more to combat voter fraud. Our soon-to-be President Goldwater must start a commission!




REGISTRAR GENERAL, SOUTHERN ELECTIONS SECRETARY, SECRETARY OF FEDERAL ELECTIONS, SWAMP QUEEN, THE NYMAN QUESTIONER INTERN, DEAN OF THE HOUSE, DEPUTY SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE, AND REPRESENTATIVE PEEBS has been re-elected to the House. Since we do not generally like to publish negative articles about our employees, the full article was scrapped, but the gist of it is that we used the standard deviation of House candidate preferences to find the most divisive candidate, and while most had a standard deviation of about three or four, Peebs had one of six, making her shockingly polarizing. We shall from this point forward refer to her as "Polarizin' Peebs" and express regret that a candidate such as this got the most first preferences.




PRESIDENT D. F. W. LIBERTY LOVER has chosen to resign after a highly disappointing presidency, admitting to his many faults in a statement. We believe that this was the first time he has made us happy and applaud our President for finally doing the right thing. However, when we imagined the day that President D. F. W. Liberty Lover finally stepped down, it was not like this. As we went out to celebrate with champagne and a cake that said "Good Riddance" the sun was blocked, plunging our party and the rest of America into darkness for a full two minutes.

We reflected on what the hell was happening and realized that it couldn't be because our President D. F. W. Liberty Lover was abandoning us, and that it had to any of the other things that went on this weekend that sparked it, like the voter fraud delivering a Meltzer Driver to the concept of democracy... right?
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Unconditional Surrender Truman
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« Reply #45 on: August 21, 2017, 07:17:41 PM »

Swamp creatures of the world, unite!
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Free April Daniels
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« Reply #46 on: August 21, 2017, 07:20:31 PM »

They call me the Swamp Queen for a reason.
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Country Liberal
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« Reply #47 on: August 21, 2017, 10:44:07 PM »

I will be asking for a major investigation into VOTER FRAUD, including those who registered to vote in three states, those who are illegal and... even, those registered to vote who are banned (and many for a long time). Depending on results, we will strengthen up voting procedures!
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Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee
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« Reply #48 on: August 21, 2017, 11:18:59 PM »


For some reason the last few days I have been suppressing the urge to call you FreMinister or FreMinster. Does this have any connection to your status as a swamp creature? Tongue
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Wells
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« Reply #49 on: September 04, 2017, 05:25:14 PM »

A big news story coming soon.
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