Alternate Careers

[JoeInator]

Winston Churchill, President of the United States?!?!

Winston Churchill (R-NY) (1874-1965)
1901-1905: Member of the House of Representatives from New York's 3rd District
1905-1913: United States Ambassador to the United Kingdom
1915-1923: Governor of New York
1929-1935: United States Senator from New York
1939-1941: United States Senator from New York
1941-1949: 33rd President of the United States

Presidents and Vice Presidents since 1933:
1933-1941: Franklin D. Roosevelt (D-NY)/John Nance Garner (D-TX)
1941-1949: Winston Churchill (R-NY)/Charles McNary* (R-OR) 1941-1944, vacant 1944-1945, John W. Bricker (R-OH) 1945-1949
1949-1957: Dwight D. Eisenhower (D-PA)/Richard Russell (D-GA)
1957-1961: Earl Warren (R-CA)/Everett Dirksen (R-IL)
1961-1965: Lyndon B. Johnson (D-TX)/Hubert Humphrey (D-MN)
1965-1968: Randolph Churchill* (R-NY)/William Scranton (R-PA)
1968-1973: William Scranton (R-PA)/vacant 1968-1969, George Romney (R-MI) 1969-1973
1973-1981: Henry M. Jackson (D-WA)/Mike Gravel (D-AK)
1981-1983: Richard Nixon** (R-CA)/Howard Baker (R-TN)
1983-1989: Howard Baker (R-TN)/vacant 1983, Sandra Day O'Connor (R-AZ) 1983-1989
1989-1997: Lee Iacocca (D-PA)/Joe Biden (D-DE)
1997-2001: James Meredith (R-MS)/Bill Weld (R-MA)
2001-2006: Ann Richards* (D-TX)/Paul Wellstone (D-MN)
2006-2013: Paul Wellstone (D-MN)/vacant 2006, Sherrod Brown 2006-2013
2013-2021: Hillary Rodham (R-IL)/Lindsey Graham (R-SC)
2021-present: Andrew Cuomo (D-NY)/Gretchen Whitmer (D-MI)

* Died in Office
** Assassinated

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Weird ideas I had today:

Alf Hitler (1889-1965)

U.S. Senator from Wisconsin: November 12, 1920-January 3, 1939
-Minority Whip: 1932-1935
-Minority Leader: 1935-1939
Governor of Wisconsin: January 6, 1939-January 2, 1945
-Chairman of the RNGA: 1944-1945
U.S. Senator from Wisconsin: January 3, 1945-January 3, 1951


Osama Bin Laden (1957-)

Member of the American Center for Moderate Islam (1979-)
-CEO: 2016-
Journalist specializing in documenting war crimes (1978-2003)
-Washington Post: 1978-1981
-New York Times: 1981-1996
-NBC: 1996-2003
NBC News Anchor (2003-2016)


Joseph Steele (1878-1959)

Investment Banker: 1899-1905
State Senator: 1905-1909
Mayor of Boston: 1909-1910
U.S. Representative: 1910-1947
-Minority Whip: 1927-1931
-Majority Leader: 1931-1933
-Speaker of the House: 1933-1947

Mao Zedong (1893-1990)

Professor of Religion: 1931-1969
-University of Shanghai: 1931-1939
-Harvard University: 1939-1969
Minister at Thomas Road Baptist Church: 1969-1975
Employee at Liberty University: 1971-1988
-Senior Professor At-Large in Religion and Political Theory: 1971-1977
-Vice Chancellor: 1977-1988

[You don't see any blue avatars now]

Joseph Steele (1878-1959)

Investment Banker: 1899-1905
State Senator: 1905-1909
Mayor of Boston: 1909-1910
U.S. Representative: 1910-1947
-Minority Whip: 1927-1931
-Majority Leader: 1931-1933
-Speaker of the House: 1933-1947

Shoutout to TTL Stalin for only being mayor of Boston for less than two years.

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Yeah so I got progressive midwestern senator Hitler, Osama the liberal Muslim war crime journalist, Stalin the capitalist banker turned Speaker of the House, and Mao the conservative Christian who is a close friend of the Falwells.

Ouch.

So, here are some more:

Ali 'Al' Khamenei (1939-):

Executive at American Airlines (1963-1981, 2010-2017)
-CFO: 1970-1973
-CEO: 1973-1981, 2010-2017
Governor of Vermont: January 5, 1983-February 12, 1990
-Chair of the RNGA: 1985-1987
Secretary of Transportation: February 12, 1990-January 20, 1993
Governor of Vermont: January 5, 1995-January 5, 2001
Undersecretary of State for Middle-East Affairs: January 21, 2001-January 20, 2005
Secretary of Commerce: January 20, 2005-January 20, 2009

Boris Johnson (1964-):

Professor in English Literature at Harvard: 1995-2013
Dean of the English Literature Department: 2013-2019
Acting Chancellor of Harvard University: 2019-2020
Chancellor of Harvard University: 2020-

Xi Jinping (1953-)

Officer in the U.S. Army: 1974-2015
-2nd Lt.: 1974-1975
-1st Lt.: 1975-1977
-Captain: 1977-1983
-Major: 1983-1989
-Lt. Colonel: 1989-1995
-Colonel: 1995-2000
-Brigadier General: 2000-2003
-Major General: 2003-2005
-Lt. General: 2005-2011
-General: 2011-2015
--Chairman of the Joint Chiefs: 2011-2015
Secretary of Defense: 2021-

[If my soul was made of stone]

Cherie Berry

North Carolina State Representative from the 45th district: 1993–2001
North Carolina Commissioner of Labor: 2001–2021
United States Senator from North Carolina: 2023–2033 (serving with Thom Tillis until 2027, Cheri Beasley thereafter)
President of the United States: 2033-2041 (vice president: Ben Sasse)

[TransfemmeGoreVidal]

Saddam Hussein, actor:

1965-1970: Bit actor in Bollywood movies
1970-1980: Emigrates to US, works briefly in pornographic films, later goes onto more mainstream roles
1987: Stars alongside Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon
1989-95: President of the Screen Actors Guild
1998: Running as a Democrat he defeats Pete Wilson in his bid for a forth term as governor of California
1999-2007: Serves two terms as governor of California

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Adolph 'Al' Eichmann (1906-2001)

MP from Alberta: 1949-1984
Leader of the Opposition: 1954-1957
Prime Minister of Canada: 1957-1981

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Mary Teresa Bojaxhiu (1910-2003)

Anesthesiologist: 1934-1976
Professor of Medicine, Stanford: 1976-1991

Donald John Trump (1946-)

Member of the Democratic Party: 1964-
-Vice-Chair of the DNC: 1991-1995
-Chair of the DNC: 1995-2000
U.S. Representative: 1973-1983
U.S. Senator: 1983-1995
Governor of New York: 1995-2003
Employee at the Institute for Liberal Economics: 2003-
-Board Member: 2004-
-Vice-Chair: 2009-2011
-Chair: 2011-
Employee, Sanders for President: 2015-2016, 2019-2020
-Chair: 2015-2016
-Board Member: 2019-2020

Ivana Marie Trump (1949-)

Chairwoman, the Trump Organization: 1980-

Donald Trump, Jr. (1977-):

Epidemiologist: 2002-
Employee at the CDC: 2002-
-Director: 2015-2017, 2021-

Ivanka Trump (1981-):

Mayor of New York City: 2013-

Eric Trump (1984-):

U.S. Representative: 2011-2017
U.S. Senator: 2017-

[President Johnson]

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Nicholas Maduro (1962-)

U.S. Representative: 1993-2007
-Deputy Majority Whip: 2002-2003
-Majority Whip: 2003-2007
Governor of Kentucky: 2007-2015
-Chairman of the RGA: 2013-2014
Ambassador to the United Nations: 2017-2021

Juan Guaido (1983-)

Professor of Gender Studies: 2005-
Owner, Louisville Vegan Co.: 2006-
Member, Vegan Bakery Alliance: 2006-
-Co-Chair: 2010-2015
-Chair: 2015-2020
Democratic Nominee for the Kentucky Governor's Race: 2011

Nelson Mandela (1918-2019)

Officer in the British Army: 1941-1946
-2LT: 1941
-1LT: 1941-1942
-CPT: 1942-1943
-MJR: 1943
-LTC: 1943-1945
-COL: 1945-1946
MP from London: 1948-1992
-Leader of the Opposition: 1974-1979
-Prime Minister: 1979-1992

[P. Clodius Pulcher did nothing wrong]

Nicholas Maduro (1962-)

U.S. Representative: 1993-2007
-Deputy Majority Whip: 2002-2003
-Majority Whip: 2003-2007
Governor of Kentucky: 2007-2015
-Chairman of the RGA: 2013-2014
Ambassador to the United Nations: 2017-2021

Juan Guaido (1983-)

Professor of Gender Studies: 2005-
Owner, Louisville Vegan Co.: 2006-
Member, Vegan Bakery Alliance: 2006-
-Co-Chair: 2010-2015
-Chair: 2015-2020
Democratic Nominee for the Kentucky Governor's Race: 2011

Nelson Mandela (1918-2019)

Officer in the British Army: 1941-1946
-2LT: 1941
-1LT: 1941-1942
-CPT: 1942-1943
-MJR: 1943
-LTC: 1943-1945
-COL: 1945-1946
MP from London: 1948-1992
-Leader of the Opposition: 1974-1979
-Prime Minister: 1979-1992

These are fun!

Fidel A. Castro (1926-2016)

Delegate to the U.S. House from the Territory of Cuba, 1959-1961
U.S. Senator from Cuba, 1961-1971
Governor of Cuba, 1971-1979
Vice President of the U.S., 1981 (Rose to presidency after assassination of Pres. Ronald Reagan)
President of the United States, 1981-1985 (Defeated by Fmr. VP Walter Mondale)
President of the United States, 1993-1997

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1878)

U.S. Senator from Mississippi (1839-1859)
Governor of Mississippi (1859-1861)
President of the CSA (1861-1865)

[darklordoftech]

List of Presidents starting with inauguration day 1949 and ending with inauguration day 2005:

Thomas Dewey (R) (1949-1957)
Estes Kefauver (D) (1957-1965)
Nelson Rockefeller (R) (1965-1973)
Ronald Reagan (D) (1973-1981)
Lowell Weicker (R) (1981-1989)
Donald Trump (D) (1989-1997)
George Pataki (R) (1997-2005)

[VirginiaAaron]

made myself

-Selected by Gov. Ron DeSantis in 2020, defeated the Harris/Buttigieg ticket
-Re-elected on the ticket with President DeSantis in 2024, this time defeating the Ocasio-Cortez/Kelly ticket
-Took a 4-year break from politics. Stacey Abrams and Colin Allred succeeded DeSantis and Scott
-Scott easily won the 2036 GOP primary and defeated Abrams in a close election with Elise Stefanik on the ticket with him
-Scott was easily re-elected over the Democratic ticket of Rashida Tlaib and Jon Ossoff in the 2040 election
-President Scott left office after a relative successful 8-year term in office, being succeeded by Jon Ossoff

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Donald Trump (1946-Present)

Democrat: 1964-Present
U.S. Representative: November 30, 1972-January 3, 1983
U.S. Senator from New York: January 3, 1983-January 3, 2001
Governor of New York: January 1, 2003-January 1, 2011
President of the United States: January 20, 2021-

Hillary Rodham (1947-Present)

Republican: 1966-Present
RNC Youth Chair: 1967-1972
Nixon '72 Co-Chair: 1972-1973
Senior Advisor to POTUS: 1973-1975
U.S. Representative: January 3, 1975-January 26, 1981
Ambassador to South Africa: January 28, 1981-January 20, 1993
SaveAmerica PAC CEO: 1993-1996
Governor of Florida: January 6, 1997-January 5, 2001
President of the United States: January 20, 2017-January 20, 2021

2016:



Preliminary:

Biden/Kaine: 53.2% PV| 272 EV
Rodham/Cruz: 45.0% PV| 266 EV

Final EC (Post Faithless Electors):

Biden/Kaine: 268 EV
Rodham/Cruz: 257 EV
Powell/Baker: 9 EV
Warren/Sanders: 4 EV

HCE:

33 R
16 D
1 Deadlocked

---
2020 Election:



Trump/Harris: 60.9%| 455 EV
Rodham/Cruz: 36.2%| 83 EV

[You don't see any blue avatars now]

Good Lord that 2016 is terrifying.

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1885)

Plantation Owner: 1832-1864
U.S. Senator from Mississippi: March 4, 1839-January 19, 1861
President of the C.S.A.: February 15, 1861-December 19, 1864
-Imprisoned-: 1864-1877
Chief Justice of the Mississippi Supreme Court: 1878-1885

Jefferson Davis (1808-1901)

Mayor of Lexington, MA: 1829-1834
MA State Senator: 1834-1835
MA Treasurer: 1835-1839
MA Lt. Governor: 1839-1841
U.S. Senator from MA: January 5, 1841-March 2, 1861
President of the United States: March 4, 1861-March 4, 1869
Associate Justice of the Supreme Court: July 17, 1870-December 31, 1885

1860 Election:



Davis/Hamlin: 60.2% PV| 194 EV
Lincoln/Stephens: 34.9% PV| 109 EV

---

1864 Election:



Davis/Hamlin: 68.9% PV| 211 EV
McClellan/Johnson: 30.1% PV| 22 EV

[You don't see any blue avatars now]

Spoiler alert: big ass image

Show

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Albert Gore (1948-)

B.A. from Tennessee State University in Painting

U.S. Representative from TN: January 3, 1975-January 3, 1983
Governor of TN: January 15, 1983-January 18, 1987
Ambassador to the UN: February 10, 1987-June 31, 1988
U.S. Senator from TN: January 3, 1989-January 14, 2001
President of the United States: January 20, 2001-January 20, 2009

George W. Bush (1946-)

B.S.c. from MIT in Geological Sciences
M.S. from UC Berkeley in Biology
P.h.D. from Harvard in Meteorology

Renewable Energy Advocate: 1964-
Climatologist at the National Weather Service: 1970-1977
-Asst. Division Director, 1974-1976
-Acting Division Director, 1976
-Division Director, 1976-1977
Director of the National Weather Service: 1977-1980
Director of NOAA: 1980-1982
Private Sector Employee: 1982-1991
Governor of Vermont: January 1, 1991-January 1, 1995
U.S. Senator from VT: January 3, 1995-January 20, 2009
Secretary of Energy: January 20, 2009-January 20, 2013
Governor of Vermont: January 1, 2015-January 1, 2021

2000 Election:


Gore/Cheney: 48.5% PV| 270 EV
Bush/Baucus: 51.1% PV| 268 EV
 

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Joe Biden (1942-)

U.S. Senator from DE: January 3, 1973-January 15, 2009
Vice President: January 20, 2009-January 20, 2017
President: January 20, 2017-Present

Beau Biden (1969-)

Attorney General of DE: January 2, 2007-January 6, 2015
Governor of DE: January 17, 2017-

[dw93]

Reagan/Rummy:

Donald Rumsfeld (R-IL):

Member of the U.S. House of Representatives from Illinois's 13th District: Jan. 1963- Mar. 1969
Various Posts in the Nixon Administration: Mar.1969- Sept. 1974
White House Chief of Staff (in the Ford Administration): Sept. 1974- Nov. 1975
Secretary of Defense (in the Ford Administration): Nov. 1975- Jan. 1977
Vice President of the United States (in the Reagan Administration): Jan. 1981- Jan. 1989
41st President of the United States: Jan. 1989- Jan. 1993

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Barack Obama (1961-)

B.A. in Political Science from Columbia (1983)
J.D. from Harvard University (1986)

Corporate Lawyer: 1987-1992
Director, Project VOTE: 1992-1993
Member of the Chicago City Council: January 1, 1993-January 1, 1997
Illinois State Senator: January 8, 1997-January 2, 2001
U.S. Representative: January 3, 2001-January 3, 2007
Radio Host: 2004-2008
TV Show Host: 2008-

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

Ramon Castro (1924-2018)

Soldier, US Army: 1941-1986
-Private: 1941-1942
-Corporal: 1942
-Sergeant: 1942-1944
-1st Lt (brev.): 1944
-1st Lt: 1944-1946
-Captain: 1946-1949
-Major: 1949-1955
-Lt. Colonel: 1955-1962
-Colonel: 1962-1964
-Brigadier General: 1964-1969
-Major General: 1969-1975
-Lt. General: 1975-1979
-General: 1979-1986
--Army Chief of Staff: 1981-1986
--Chairman of the Joint Chiefs: 1983-1986
Secretary of Defense: January 22, 1989-January 20, 1993

Fidel Castro (1926-)

Soldier, US Army: 1943-1945
-Private: 1943
-Corporal: 1943-1945
MLB Player: 1945-1961
U.S. Representative: July 24, 1962-January 3, 1967
Lt. Governor of Florida: January 10, 1967-May 2, 1968
Governor of Florida: May 2, 1968-January 2, 1977
U.S. Senator from Florida: January 3, 1977-January 3, 1995
Governor of Florida: January 10, 1995-January 10, 2003

Raul Castro (1931-)

Soldier, USAAF: 1949-1954
-2nd Lt: 1949-1950
-1st Lt: 1950
-Captain: 1950-1951
-Major: 1951-1954
U.S. Representative: January 3, 1957-Present
-Deputy Whip: 1965-1968
-Chief Deputy Whip: 1968-1969
-Majority Whip: 1969-1975
-Majority Leader: 1975-1977
-Speaker of the House: 1977-1979
-Chair of the HELP Committee: 1979-1985
-Speaker of the House: 1985-1993
-Majority Leader: 1995-1999
-Speaker of the House: 1999-2005
-Majority Leader: 2005-2007
-Speaker of the House: 2007-2013
-Dean of the House: 2015-Present

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

If Bill Clinton did the national track instead of the state one.

U.S. Representative: January 3, 1977-January 3, 1981
U.S. Senator: January 3, 1981-January 18, 1993
President of the United States: January 20, 1993-January 20, 2001

And if JFK did the opposite:

State Senator: 1947-1951
Lt. Governor: 1951-1955
Governor: 1955-1961
President: 1961-1963

[You don't see any blue avatars now]

U.S. Representative: January 3, 1977-January 3, 1981
U.S. Senator: January 3, 1981-January 18, 1993
President of the United States: January 20, 1993-January 20, 2001

No Hammerschmidt defeat in '74?