The Kalwejt Foundation for the Promotion of Atlas Hilarity

[Badger]

Will Fuzzy please also condemn Michael Griffin's murder of David Gunn and will OSR please condemn Olive Garden for giving me food poisoning?

Come on. Well not a gem, it's not that bad a post. It made me chuckle a bit

[Badger]

The original poster was right. SJWs have destroyed the Democratic Party. I'm literally not voting in 2020. SJW control is so absolute that I can't even go and see a Woody Allen movie in the U.S. (The latest one was banned.) Since 2017, SJW have dictatorial control of 99% of campuses, all of the mainstream media, all of the mainstream social media, Amazon, Chase Bank, PayPal, Patreon, Hollywood, Pixar, Disney, just literally most of the electronic / digital world. Since we really live in the digital world now, the people in Washington don't really control much. The real control is with tech and media giants. Amazon is now 20% of all economic activity in the U.S. These SJW-controlled companies rule by pure decree, by mere pronouncement. And SJWs now use the old Republican rationale that oppression doesn't count if it's done by private companies. For the aforementioned reasons, I've built a manifesto aimed at stopping the blacklisting and banning and criminalization of dissent that the Democrats have bowed to. This faction will withhold their votes, as I am doing, until free speech and civil liberties for men are restored in our party. #MeToo is an SJW movement that uses all of the authoritarian tactics that SJWs usually use: intimidation, threats, blacklisting, shunning, censorship, economic blackmail, confiscation of human rights. They are bullies through and through. SJWs and #MeToo have destroyed our party and turned it into a bunch of SJW authoritarians and moderate who are too cowardly to confront the Twitter mob. In any case, this manifesto can serve as a guiding light for those wanting to start RDF chapters in their community and create a place where anti-SJW Democrat can go. (Warning to blue pill simp-men: Your upper-middle-class "yikes" reaction to anyone who challenges the harpies that run our party now will only work till its your turn to be purged for something you said or did thirty years ago. You're smug now, but wait till the Twitter mobs start in on the opposition research on you. Then you'll find out no one is safe, not even upper-middle-class guys who say "yikes.") In any event, you should check out the "welcome to the RDF" blogspot put out by "Father Anonymous."

I heartily agree, good sir. Why, just the other day I was standing in line at the coffee house when I asked for some "black" coffee. The room went silent and the other patrons stared at me. It was then that I realized my mistake-- I should have said "Afro-Diasporatic." I tried to apologize, but they were already rising from their seats, clenching their fists around their scalding hot coffee cups and glaring at me with the heat of a thousand suns. Their nose piercings shone brilliant in the afternoon light, and they rolled up their sleeves, revealing #Resistance tattoos on their forearms. One of them grabbed me by the wrist. I tried to explain, and tried to pay reparations for my transgression, but I didn't have enough money with me at the time-- when I apologized, I asked if this made me an Indian giver. What foolishness! In the terror of the moment, I had forgotten about the plight of the Native Americans during the 19th century and the genocide that was the Trail of Tears. The latte liberals became more irate. They held me down on a table, and I screamed, asking someone to call a policeman, not realizing that by doing so I was enforcing the heteronormative narrative that peace officers should be men, rather than women, trans people, or gender non-conforming individuals. I howled in pain as they branded me with boiling hot coffee, leaving a swastika permanently burned into my forehead. Such is the punishment meted out for freethinkers like myself in the communist dictatorship that is Berkeley, California. I was then sent to the soy mines, where I have labored ever since. But even so, I have a dream... a dream that we can live in harmony and freedom. A dream that one day in the far-off future, an overweight prepubescent white boy will be able to call someone the "N" word over Xbox Live without having to fear for his safety. And until then, I will keep fighting the good fight against these militant SJW communist bastards. Truly, you have inspired me.

This is beyond Epic

[Badger]

Hard to believe, but context helps.

Are you willing to submit to a cavity search?

[Badger]

Horrible Name. Insanely tasteless. It'd be like if some Cambodian-American girl made a YouTube channel of makeup tutorials that she titled "Khmer Rouge".

Regarding the name "Young Turks"

fhtagn has a makeup channel?

brb, gonna get that YouTube $$$
especially if it makes me the same as TYT

What? Diddly PLUS squat?

[Badger]

I suppose you could count "lock her up" as a promise fulfilled on a technicality. Hillary Clinton has been confined to her home, after all.

[Badger]

I am as rabid Auntie neo-confederate as it comes

These were all brilliant, fwiw.

With Badger's app, I'm only surprised it didn't come out as "rabbit".

Rabbit Auntie neo-confederate? Sounds like Br'er Rabbit after a sex change joining the KKK.

[Badger]

Full credit to them and NASCAR for doing the right thing. Hopefully they find the guy who did it and kick his stupid ass out.

Probably a couple of Nigerians hired by Jussie Smollett.

J.F.C. Kindly f**k off, Nazi.

Were you at the race, caller?

Who is your favorite NASCAR driver, what was his number?

If you were trying to prove by this retort that you're not just obnoxiously trolling rather than actually contributing, you failed.

His favorite driver is Dale Jr because of 88.

CC One-liners thread

[Badger]

The Republican Party is the party of the casual meth user with a record of Simple Battery, Aggravated Possession, and DUI. They dropped out of the 11th grade because they didn’t believe in birth control but somehow believed underaged sex was OK. Two years later they went to make $27 bucks an hour on the oil rig outside of Williston,ND on a 7 by 12 basis, 2 weeks on and two weeks off. That’s about 70k a year for manual labor two years later. They were good at and now 25, they hasLove 5 guys under them and they make what a typical small law partner or senior software engineer makes. About 10 or 11 a month. By 45, they will either have  an equal chance of having 10 million dollars, be homeless, or in prison.

The Democratic Party is the party of the speech and debate nerd or Soccer scholar who got into a place like Middlebury or Oberlin. They went into an ambitious major and yet still expected to manage it while ending up stoned on the quad or in a stranger’s bed every Sunday Morning. When they got their first “C” or “D” in their life in Calculus II their Freshman year, they became burnt out and thought the disappointing grade alone was enough to eliminate them from the graduate or professional school of their choice. They then decided to triple major in business, psychology, and political science and eventually they graduated in six years. After looking for a job for a year and only being able to get a job at a call center making 350 a week, they Ldecided to take the GRE and go for their MPA. The same thing happened after their MPA and now they are in their second year of law school at Arizona State (a school with a solid, but not stellar reputation) with an average rank. They are 30 years old and the most money they ever made was last summer at their 1L summer clerkship at a 40 lawyer firm in Phoenix making 20 bucks an hour. This person has an equal chance that by 45, they will be making what the person above them was making when they were 25, being a substitute teacher living on some kind of welfare, or doing something lucrative and sexy that they could have done all along.

The difference between the Bush Obama years and the Trump Biden years is the former is now more likely to be a bisexual Puerto Rican girl from a place like Osceola County and the later a ScotsIrish Baptist boy from a place like Cobb County.

Context: "Are the Democrats Now the Party of the Rich" thread.

https://talkelections.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=413103.msg7769530#msg7769530

This could arguably go into the Virginia Museum for good posts thread. Someone satirical or not, there's more than a few grains of Truth in there to Warrant some serious mad respect.

[Badger]

Oh, and looky here

https://notthebee.com/article/marxism-in-action-blm-chapters-are-speaking-out-accusing-the-central-leadership-of-hoarding-all-the-money

The central org is hoarding all the cash donated to BLM! Why does this sound so familiar? OH, because it's what happens in actual communist countries!  All monies go the commissar, comrade.

And how is this system better than our "late-stage capitalism" corporate overlords?

Unintentional humor from the critically thinking challenged is always the funniest.

[Badger]

I am a surgeon taking away critical minutes from my time-sensitive open heart surgery to post in this important thread because I just need to share my superior intellectual insights: “bitch” is typically used as a gendered insult with different meanings when used against men or women. I typically avoid using it unless it is in a joking manner

Edit: My patient has died. My nurse is being a bitch and saying it was because I was on my phone

That maybe one of the greatest of all times.

[Badger]

More specifically, Traders actively engaged in an attempt at mass murder.

Oh, Badger and your STT...

Oh come on. All the bizarre and crazy misinterpretations my voice to text app creates and the best you can find is one that mistook traitors for traders?

Come back after you find a more funny example. There are plenty to choose from.

[Badger]

Sorry but this is just ridiculous. The hate people have for historical figures is completely unfair. The United States wouldn’t exist with “Columbia” so it makes sense to name the capital after her despite everything

She’s not gonna sleep with you.

[Badger]

Credit where credit is due.

I’m a vet.  You owe this to me.

Insert generic triggered Crane response here

[Badger]

From the "have you ever seen in drugs other than marijuana in real life" thread.

Nope, I’ve only seen imaginary illegal drugs.

Wait a second…

[Badger]

Context needed.

Senator Blackburn, if you're reading this, could you DM me? I have a few questions about a coup attempt.

[Badger]

I thought about putting this in the simple truths thread, but couldn't find it and found this one 1st. Credit where credit is due.

Yeah that said, for a piece of human garbage and well documented a sex pest like Him,  It doesn't stop him from being a complete piece of garbage that his wife is lucky to be done with. And no, I'm not saying that because hes an arch conservative POS politically, but because he has an extremely well documented history of being a serial date rapist Is for whom the concept of an attempted long term monogamous relationship His failing is not the least bit surprising

   This is slander and you are better than this.

As Badger could tell you, it could be libel (not slander) since it’s written and not spoken. (Slander is Spoken)

Remember, Badger uses speech-to-text though.

[Badger]

    Moderating posts for being “Inappropriate” is dumb. My question asking if people would support assassinating Cruz/Hawley if it meant Democrats could pass their agenda was deleted and infracted, while hypotheticals including banning all abortion are allowed. To some people (such as Texasgurl) suggesting banning all abortion would be far more disturbing than assassinating Cruz/Hawley, yet only one of these is allowed? Make it make sense.

Imagine having this much of a lack of self-awareness

How so?

[Badger]

Regarding the proposed legalization of Revenge porn.

Well, I still find it strange when you can see each other nude in person anyway. If you want privacy, have your partner sign an NDA.

Fiduciaries have implied legal duties to one another, and one such duty is not disclosing private information. If it helps you understand humans better, just imagine that the romantic relationship is a business transaction and the nude photos are trade secrets.

[Badger]

Yours truly's D&D alignment.

Lawful neutral personality, chaotic evil spelling.

[Badger]

I don't know who this is or why he does this or who watches him or for what reason they do so or what he's talking about or why he's talking about it or why you posted this. But other than that, very interesting

[Badger]

Time and time again, man has shown that overusing resources tends to deplete them.

like a steel trap

[Badger]

COVID restrictions are ending anyways that's why Biden will duplicate a 303/235 map ANYWAYS THE ARG has him at 44 but his Job Performance his Job Approvals are ,50/43

https://twitter.com/MarshaBlackburn/status/1496268975847751684

This is true. I can’t think of a single time Vladimir Putin criticized unvaccinated Americans.

[Badger]

Needed to save this before The Mods overreact

That moment when your greatest moral triumph is actually a moral failure.

I assume you haven't posted about your own moral triumph because the fertilizer bomb isn't finished yet.

[Badger]

Without Dave, we all wouldn't be here.

This is why I can not stand the man.

[Badger]

From the are you married thread.

Option 2, big day is October 1st.

Congratulations! Remember to write down both of your political compass scores so that you can compare again on your first anniversary.