Need help: dating advice
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Author Topic: Need help: dating advice  (Read 504 times)
dudeabides
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« on: September 08, 2015, 11:22:13 PM »

So I've tried online dating before, and I am doing so again. I met this girl, we have been talking for about 12 days, but then I met this girl in real life I like more. Why? I think I actually have more in common with the girl I met offline. It has nothing to do with looks, I am not that guy. I have talked about going out with this girl I met online, but we have no plans. I sort of would rather go out with this girl I met in real life. My options, as I see it, are as follows;

1. Go out with the girl I have been speaking with
2. Tell the girl I met online the truth and try to go out with the "real" girl
3. Block the girl I met online and forget it, go out with the real girl. I've done this in the past, I sort of regret it. I could always text her than block her, that is easy for me and while I've done it before, it sounds horrible when I say it. I just don't want to offend anyone.
4. Go out with both and see what happens

What do I do?
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Sprouts Farmers Market ✘
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« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2015, 11:24:42 PM »

I'll allow someone else to answer more seriously, but tbh, #4 sounds like a real Trump move.
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dudeabides
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« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2015, 11:34:17 PM »

I'll allow someone else to answer more seriously, but tbh, #4 sounds like a real Trump move.

Here is the thing. Online girl is sorta into politics. Offline girl is a political junkie. Guess which I am....
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dudeabides
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« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2015, 08:33:32 AM »

I'll allow someone else to answer more seriously, but tbh, #4 sounds like a real Trump move.

Here is the thing. Online girl is sorta into politics. Offline girl is a political junkie. Guess which I am....

Is this why you like her more?

Personally, I would (and remember this is coming from a 14 year old, so proceed carefully) go with the offline one, as you like her more and it's generally safer to be around people you know in real life than people you meet online (online people lie a lot, unfortunately). If you don't want to be direct or offensive, I recommend just slowly winding down your dating website activity over the course of a few days until it is nonexistent. Provide arbitrary internet access excuses if necessary.

But if you've known the online one for a much longer time than the real life one, you should consider that too.

Thank you, I appreciate the advice. This may sound silly, but that is part of the reason I like her more - she probably gets me more. Also despite having done online dating in the past, I'm still not 100% comfortable with it.
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dead0man
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« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2015, 08:40:39 AM »

If you're not "going steady" (or whatever the kids call "exclusive dating" these days), then it doesn't matter.  Go on dates with both.  You don't have to tell them about each other, but don't lie if it comes up either.
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Mr. Smith
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« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2015, 12:27:17 PM »

While it sounds like the person offline is makes more logical sense:

One of them will probably figure out the score sooner or later if it really bugs you, these types of things can only be hidden for so long.

So you might as well try giving them the score, and seeing what happens. Especially if nothing's committed.


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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #6 on: September 09, 2015, 01:25:14 PM »

You're asking these impecunious and humpbacked losers for dating advice?   LOL. 
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bedstuy
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« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2015, 01:30:33 PM »

Dating multiple people is totally fine.  You're talking about first dates for crying out loud.
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exopolitician
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« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2015, 01:33:02 PM »

Four isn't such a bad idea, just go with whichever makes you the happiest. You seem to be more interested in the girl you met IRL, so if she is give you good feels go for her.
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DC Al Fine
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« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2015, 06:58:37 PM »

If you're not "going steady" (or whatever the kids call "exclusive dating" these days), then it doesn't matter.  Go on dates with both.  You don't have to tell them about each other, but don't lie if it comes up either.

Dead0man's right. Go on first dates with both. You'll probably clearly prefer one over the other.
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