What if campaign slogans for 2016 presidential contenders were a little more... honest, and not intended to be politically sly?
DemocratsClinton: "I'm unstoppable! No, I actually will win this time, I promise! No scandals for me, nope!"
O'Malley: "I'm not Hillary Clinton. Isn't that reason enough?"
Sanders: "Voting for me will make you feel like you're a
real progressive. Oh, and I'm also
definitely not Hillary Clinton."
Webb: "Democrats need to move to the right! Just look at Pryor and Landrieu! .... Wait, they did win last year, right?"
Biden: "
Maaaaaaybe I'm running,
maaaaaaaaybe I'm not.
"
RepublicansBush: "Hey, at least I'm smarter than my brother."
Walker: "I don't really understand much about the issues, but... THREE TIMES IN FOUR YEARS, BABY! Yeah, let's talk about that some more."
Rubio: "Adding diversity to the Republican party since 2010."
Paul: "I'm kinda sorta libertarianish, but I'm not, like, a
scary libertarian."
Kasich: "You know, I might be able to beat Hillary Clinton. I'm the governor of a key swing state, I won by 30 percent last year, and I... Hello!? Is anyone listening!?"
Christie: "Wait! I'm still relevant!"
Gilmore: "So am I!"
Pataki: "Me too!"
Huckabee: "*sings* Pray the gay away! Love to force re-li-gion!"
Trump: "Hey, everyone! Look at me, look at me!"
Feel free to add your own.