What's your excuse for not being in a relationship?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

As far as appearance, females are far less selective in that regard than us men. Even if you aren't great looking there are girls who don't care that much and some may be intrigued by your "exoticness" (assuming you're clearly African rather than a native black...even better if you have an accent). If you're indistinguishable from a homegrown brotha....let's just say there are plenty of girls who are into that too. As for your physique you're the only one stopping you on that front. Just hit the gym and eat right (ideally fresh fruits and vegetables, plenty of meat, and eggs...no junk or grains).

Since you say you're a bad conversationalist, I highly recommend this book. You may feel silly reading a book about how to talk to girls if you put in the effort I guarantee you this guys advice will help.

Finally, you should be irrationally self-confident. Don't try to delude yourself about your faults (though that certainly isn't your problem), and don't necessarily be a douchebag, just don't apologize or feel the need to make excuses. Act like the African pride male you are. Better to be too confident than too timid. Being confident in yourself will make you much more attractive to women, which is a positive feedback loop since their positive reactions to your confidence will in turn make you more confident in interacting with them, etc.

I feel like I'm going overboard with this lol but seriously bro, your utter lack of confidence and sexual accomplishments pains me. You are in college...for most Western males college is a time of sexual conquest before a lifetime of sexual stagnation and starvation. Unless you plan on returning to your homeland and marrying an old-fashioned Ethiopian gal, you really need to make the most of the present.

People on this forum really misuse the fedora thing. It's not really applicable to my post which had nothing to with arrogant atheism or MRA's.

Oh, the fedora thing can cover a whole host of subspecies of internet-generation straight male strangeness.

[afleitch]

Hopefully you all realise that relationships are the one thing that as human beings, you should be 'doing.' I don't mean right this very instant, but loneliness sucks. It eats away at you. People shouldn't assume right now that they are not destined for a relationship, or that it's too hard, or too complicated. Being with someone makes you feel like yourself for the first time. A relationship affirms you as much as it affirms them or you two as a couple. Don't ever worry about a mis-step, or worry about how much you need to invest in it because if it works, they immeasurable amount of love that you share with someone which to an outsider seems so complicated and nuanced and difficult to manage just flows from you without any effort.

I know that it's a bit hippy-dippy but it's the truth.

[All Along The Watchtower]

Awkwardness, sedentariness and nerdiness are the first things that come to mind. I'm not particularly good looking either.

The first two can be worked on, the third can be attractive, the fourth...meh. Don't be so hard on yourself. That advice goes for me, too.

[Obnoxiously Slutty Girly Girl]

My relationships tend to not last long. I put too much effort into finding them and trying to make them work with guys who just don't want to be bothered putting any effort into it.

Plus men are disgusting pigs who pretend to "date" you but it's a game for them to see how few dates they need to get you to have sex with them before they stop responding to your texts and move on to their next 'conquest'.

Finding a relationship is hard enough, making it last is even harder.

[Simfan34]

Hopefully you all realise that relationships are the one thing that as human beings, you should be 'doing.' I don't mean right this very instant, but loneliness sucks...

Well that cheered me up.

[Oak Hills]

As far as appearance, females are far less selective in that regard than us men. Even if you aren't great looking there are girls who don't care that much and some may be intrigued by your "exoticness" (assuming you're clearly African rather than a native black...even better if you have an accent). If you're indistinguishable from a homegrown brotha....let's just say there are plenty of girls who are into that too. As for your physique you're the only one stopping you on that front. Just hit the gym and eat right (ideally fresh fruits and vegetables, plenty of meat, and eggs...no junk or grains).

Since you say you're a bad conversationalist, I highly recommend this book. You may feel silly reading a book about how to talk to girls if you put in the effort I guarantee you this guys advice will help.

Finally, you should be irrationally self-confident. Don't try to delude yourself about your faults (though that certainly isn't your problem), and don't necessarily be a douchebag, just don't apologize or feel the need to make excuses. Act like the African pride male you are. Better to be too confident than too timid. Being confident in yourself will make you much more attractive to women, which is a positive feedback loop since their positive reactions to your confidence will in turn make you more confident in interacting with them, etc.

I feel like I'm going overboard with this lol but seriously bro, your utter lack of confidence and sexual accomplishments pains me. You are in college...for most Western males college is a time of sexual conquest before a lifetime of sexual stagnation and starvation. Unless you plan on returning to your homeland and marrying an old-fashioned Ethiopian gal, you really need to make the most of the present.

People on this forum really misuse the fedora thing. It's not really applicable to my post which had nothing to with arrogant atheism or MRA's.

Dude, you literally recommended a book by Roosh V.  I have now lost most of my respect for you.

[Mr. Smith]

Awkwardness, sedentariness and nerdiness are the first things that come to mind. I'm not particularly good looking either.

The first two can be worked on, the third can be attractive, the fourth...meh. Don't be so hard on yourself. That advice goes for me, too.

Adorkability is a factor, and attractiveness is subjective. The rest has already been well put.

Quote from Deus:  "It's not really applicable to my post which had nothing to with arrogant atheism"

Chastising and assuming sex is the normal thing all guys want in pure is a pretty arrogant assumption, and disregarding the religious standards regarding Chastity usually has very atheist angle. Ergo, that was some arrogant atheism against Varavour.

[Deus Naturae]

Awkwardness, sedentariness and nerdiness are the first things that come to mind. I'm not particularly good looking either.

The first two can be worked on, the third can be attractive, the fourth...meh. Don't be so hard on yourself. That advice goes for me, too.

Adorkability is a factor, and attractiveness is subjective. The rest has already been well put.

Quote from Deus:  "It's not really applicable to my post which had nothing to with arrogant atheism"

Chastising and assuming sex is the normal thing all guys want in pure is a pretty arrogant assumption, and disregarding the religious standards regarding Chastity usually has very atheist angle. Ergo, that was some arrogant atheism against Varavour.

I never explicitly said that Simfan should engage in premarital sex (he should, but I'm not going to try to convince him to abandon his religious views). My advice regarding self-confidence, conversing with as many people as possible, and joining social clubs applies regardless.

[Redalgo]

My excuse is being too busy sorting out changes in life - e.g. moving into a new home, preparing my 2015 municipal campaign, and needing time to settle into new routines enough that I am not always stressed out. Things will be fine. If friends can be trusted I just need to be more confident.

[Lief 🗽]

PUA's basically invented the fedora in the mid-2000s. I deem the use of the meme appropriate.

[Associate Justice PiT]

     I don't really socialize. I would like to go to a bar, but I'm not going to do it alone and I don't have any conveniently situated friends to go with.

[LeBron]

My last boyfriend moved away to Dayton last year, and I've since been looking for one. Otherwise, there's not really an excuse.

There's plenty of single gay guys around Cleveland and I'm kind of shocked myself I haven't hooked up with anyone yet. I have a handful of LGBT friends at school but most of them are in relationships/are lesbians, and the one guy who I like (and he likes me) I haven't gotten the chance to ask out.

God only knows what will happen next semester with my love life, but I think I can make it happen.

[retromike22]

the one guy who I like (and he likes me) I haven't gotten the chance to ask out.

What's the hold up? Just ask him out if you already know he likes you. You're like at 95% of the process already while all of us are at 0% lol

[Obnoxiously Slutty Girly Girl]

the one guy who I like (and he likes me) I haven't gotten the chance to ask out.

What's the hold up? Just ask him out if you already know he likes you. You're like at 95% of the process already while all of us are at 0% lol

Lol yeah if you like him and he likes you, and you both want a relationship, why is there nothing happening? It's much easier to find guys when you are in school. Out in the real world these days you have to rely on apps and websites to find guys (I suppose some people still go to bars to meet guys but not many) and trying to get to know random strangers through a phone app or computer is much more difficult than if you're going to school with someone. (And you tend to encounter creeps and liars and much worse things on the apps). You should consider yourself very lucky.

[LeBron]

the one guy who I like (and he likes me) I haven't gotten the chance to ask out.

What's the hold up? Just ask him out if you already know he likes you. You're like at 95% of the process already while all of us are at 0% lol

Lol yeah if you like him and he likes you, and you both want a relationship, why is there nothing happening? It's much easier to find guys when you are in school. Out in the real world these days you have to rely on apps and websites to find guys (I suppose some people still go to bars to meet guys but not many) and trying to get to know random strangers through a phone app or computer is much more difficult than if you're going to school with someone. (And you tend to encounter creeps and liars and much worse things on the apps). You should consider yourself very lucky.

Well, we didn't meet until the beginning of last semester (early September) and we've hanged out a bit and gotten to know each other, but neither of us is ready to make the move yet one step further.

I'm a "sophomore" in our LAMBDA group while he's only a freshman so it technically should be me who asks him out on a date, but I didn't have the guts to do it, and when I thought I was ready to do it one day, he wasn't at school that day. Luckily, we'll both be back this next semester and school starts back in about a week and a half.

The way I ended up with my last boyfriend was quite simple actually. We only hung out a couple of times before we unexpectedly cuddled/made out one night. My situation right now though isn't as simple since over the past 4 months we've gotten to become better friends than I did with the last guy.

But you're right guys, I shouldn't screw this up. :/ I have a great opportunity here.

[Obnoxiously Slutty Girly Girl]

the one guy who I like (and he likes me) I haven't gotten the chance to ask out.

What's the hold up? Just ask him out if you already know he likes you. You're like at 95% of the process already while all of us are at 0% lol

Lol yeah if you like him and he likes you, and you both want a relationship, why is there nothing happening? It's much easier to find guys when you are in school. Out in the real world these days you have to rely on apps and websites to find guys (I suppose some people still go to bars to meet guys but not many) and trying to get to know random strangers through a phone app or computer is much more difficult than if you're going to school with someone. (And you tend to encounter creeps and liars and much worse things on the apps). You should consider yourself very lucky.

Well, we didn't meet until the beginning of last semester (early September) and we've hanged out a bit and gotten to know each other, but neither of us is ready to make the move yet one step further.

I'm a "sophomore" in our LAMBDA group while he's only a freshman so it technically should be me who asks him out on a date, but I didn't have the guts to do it, and when I thought I was ready to do it one day, he wasn't at school that day. Luckily, we'll both be back this next semester and school starts back in about a week and a half.

The way I ended up with my last boyfriend was quite simple actually. We only hung out a couple of times before we unexpectedly cuddled/made out one night. My situation right now though isn't as simple since over the past 4 months we've gotten to become better friends than I did with the last guy.

But you're right guys, I shouldn't screw this up. :/ I have a great opportunity here.

You're only a sophomore in college and you have a guy with whom you share mutual attraction going to the same college? Yes, I would say you have a great opportunity!

Lol you must be pretty attractive to just have one boyfriend after another, your love life sounds a lot more successful than most (including mine ).

[LeBron]

the one guy who I like (and he likes me) I haven't gotten the chance to ask out.

What's the hold up? Just ask him out if you already know he likes you. You're like at 95% of the process already while all of us are at 0% lol

Lol yeah if you like him and he likes you, and you both want a relationship, why is there nothing happening? It's much easier to find guys when you are in school. Out in the real world these days you have to rely on apps and websites to find guys (I suppose some people still go to bars to meet guys but not many) and trying to get to know random strangers through a phone app or computer is much more difficult than if you're going to school with someone. (And you tend to encounter creeps and liars and much worse things on the apps). You should consider yourself very lucky.

Well, we didn't meet until the beginning of last semester (early September) and we've hanged out a bit and gotten to know each other, but neither of us is ready to make the move yet one step further.

I'm a "sophomore" in our LAMBDA group while he's only a freshman so it technically should be me who asks him out on a date, but I didn't have the guts to do it, and when I thought I was ready to do it one day, he wasn't at school that day. Luckily, we'll both be back this next semester and school starts back in about a week and a half.

The way I ended up with my last boyfriend was quite simple actually. We only hung out a couple of times before we unexpectedly cuddled/made out one night. My situation right now though isn't as simple since over the past 4 months we've gotten to become better friends than I did with the last guy.

But you're right guys, I shouldn't screw this up. :/ I have a great opportunity here.

You're only a sophomore in college and you have a guy with whom you share mutual attraction going to the same college? Yes, I would say you have a great opportunity!

Lol you must be pretty attractive to just have one boyfriend after another, your love life sounds a lot more successful than most (including mine ).

Yep. We haven't really shared our feelings about each other (more-so just gotten to know each other's lives, hobbies etc.), but I was told by another good friend in LAMBDA that he told her that he likes me, and I imagine someone in the group has told him that I like him.

Relationships that start from school I'm definitely aware are successful though just from experience. Two of the girls in the group have been together for over a year now.

I don't like to showboat but...() yes, I do think I am pretty attractive. I posted a handful of selfies in the old PAPOY thread (I should really post a new one; I haven't in months lol). I've only had a few boyfriends actually. It took me awhile through my life to realize I was gay, and even after that I didn't take much interest in having a bf.

I'm pretty shocked you don't have a bf (or gf?) actually . I saw that last selfie of yours and tbh, I've got to say you're really cute! New York is a bigger state to, so you have more options out there for yourself!

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Hopefully you all realise that relationships are the one thing that as human beings, you should be 'doing.' I don't mean right this very instant, but loneliness sucks. It eats away at you. People shouldn't assume right now that they are not destined for a relationship, or that it's too hard, or too complicated. Being with someone makes you feel like yourself for the first time. A relationship affirms you as much as it affirms them or you two as a couple. Don't ever worry about a mis-step, or worry about how much you need to invest in it because if it works, they immeasurable amount of love that you share with someone which to an outsider seems so complicated and nuanced and difficult to manage just flows from you without any effort.

I know that it's a bit hippy-dippy but it's the truth.

I think this is true of close relationships with other people in general but I'm not convinced that it's uniquely true of romantic and sexual relationships. Not to say that they aren't wonderful when they go well, but I'm not sure I buy that they're for everybody, and I certainly don't think I'd say that (for most people) it's a 'necessity' in their life at any given point in time.

Having said that, I'm perfectly willing to admit that someday I may very well meet somebody staggeringly wonderful and wonder how I could ever have lived without her, and if and when that happens I'll be more than willing to reconsider my thoughts on this.

[🦀🎂🦀🎂]

Wow this ended up a lot more serious than I thought it would be None of you should lose hope! (apart from Deus, because PUA stuff is always ew) Don't think of yourself as undatable, don't idolise people and don't think you have to change yourself to a terrifying extent!

[Simfan34]

Wow this ended up a lot more serious than I thought it would be None of you should lose hope! (apart from Deus, because PUA stuff is always ew) Don't think of yourself as undatable, don't idolise people and don't think you have to change yourself to a terrifying extent!

Excellent thread, A+!

[Anti Democrat Democrat Club]

But in all seriousness, being 400 miles away from one of the few girls you've ever been in love with doesn't help.

[© tweed]

keep using love as the excuse for why we're fat and lazy
wait to grow old, like we've been told
go bald, go west and crazy
this is so pointless it actually holds up our evolution
sing it to the bastards, and free yourself from mental prostitution!

[© tweed]

or, alternatively:


out on a date, but like a dog she smells the fear and runs
until we make our cheese, tortured artists are no fun
I dream of anger, sex with her, I succeed but still
she caught me popping pills
this emptiness will not be filled or killed!

[retromike22]

I posted a handful of selfies in the old PAPOY thread

No way! Really? lol

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I posted a handful of selfies in the old PAPOY thread

And it's now part of your permanent record.

RIP dating prospects.