On the campaign trail with Michael Z...

[MAS117]

Its just great to see old timers like Mike Z getting back involved again

[Filuwaúrdjan]

The Appalachian Spring

ELECTION RETURNS STOLEN!

Theives broke into Diehard Voting Machines' HQ last night and stole the Kanawha County election returns for the upcoming Senate race.
Diehard's CEO, P.Ollrigger, has said that the theft is "an an attack on the way we do elections in West Virginia" and has called for them to be returned.

[Michael Z]

*** MICHAEL Z CAMPAIGN SPEECH ***

Newark, New Jersey --- 14th April 2004.

(Edited extract.)

(Cheering crowds. Michael Z parachutes onstage to the backdrop of Bruce Springsteen's Born In The USA.)

Michael Z: Thank you, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, it's great to be in New Jersey, especially on the day my old colleague Mas117 decided to join my campaign as chairman. It's very reassuring to have a man of his calibre onboard. Let no-one say we Democrats aren't united, because we are. We are united because we want the same things for this District: more jobs, more safety, better public facilities.

(Cheers.)

We want more money for education, because our children deserve it. We want more money for healthcare, because our sick and elderly deserve it. We want direct state control in the fight against terror, because federal government is too clogged up in red tape and bureaucracy. We want tighter airline security. We want more police on the streets. We want resources used intelligently, not wasted.

(Claps and cheers.)

Ladies and gentlemen, as Senator I would not bow down to corporate interests or big business. Instead I would serve the people of this great district as best I can. And I thank you, the people of the great state of New Jersey, for welcoming my message of hope.

(Applause.)

[Michael Z]

Lester Holt: Mr. Z, what about the rumours that you may have to withdraw due to missing the deadline?

Michael Z: Well, I'll just carry on campaigning. If the powers that be decide I withdraw then so be it, but for now I am perfectly happy to keep canvassing.

(HUGE smile into the camera from Candidate Z.)

Lester Holt: Thank you, Mr. Z.

[Nation]

If Michael Z does not get on the ballot, we will elect him as a write-in candidate!

[Michael Z]

If Michael Z does not get on the ballot, we will elect him as a write-in candidate!

Thanks! By the way, the Michael Z campaign van, er, bus is travelling to Baltimore tomorrow, so make sure to have plenty of those delicious Maryland cookies on the ready.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

But I've already bought 10 million votes...

[Reaganfan]

I did not use Shanksville as a political gain.

[MAS117]

It was great having Mike Z in NJ!

[Michael Z]

Newsreader: This morning inofficial Democratic candidate for Senate in District Two, Michael Z, has announced that he would balance the budget simply by throwing lots and lots of his private money into the economy. He said he could do that because he's filthy rich. In other news, election returns in Kanawha County are still unaccounted for...

[Reaganfan]

Throwing in own money, that's a new one...

[Michael Z]

*** MICHAEL Z CAMPAIGN SPEECH ***

Baltimore, Maryland --- 15th April

(Edited extract.)

Michael Z: Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, thank you for your warm welcome. I, Michael Z, am not just the Democratic candidate. I pledge to be a candidate for all the parties: Democratic, Progressive, Republican. My policies will benefit all citizens of this great District, not just a privileged few. And what's more, if I get elected I will ensure that all citizens can have a taste of these famous Maryland cookies. Go on, have a nibble. Yum, yum.

(Rest of speech inaudible due to Michael Z eating cookies incessantly. But we think he mentioned something about lower taxes and freedom and stuff.)

[Gustaf]

Great speech!

[JohnFKennedy]

Great speech!

I second that

They MUST have given you a financial ovation!!!!!

[Reaganfan]

Tri-patisan. Sound familiar.

[Nation]

<press sec of_thisnation realizes that he accidently gave Michael Z the "special" cookies he was saving for his party with Nym.>


Oh well.

[Michael Z]

Tri-patisan. Sound familiar.

I think I got you with that cookie pledge. There's no way you're gonna beat that!

[Nation]

You WILL vote for Michael Z! THERE IS NO CHOICE.

[Michael Z]

You WILL vote for Michael Z! THERE IS NO CHOICE.

I think that campaign slogan might scare off a few people...

[Gustaf]

You WILL vote for Michael Z! THERE IS NO CHOICE.

I think that campaign slogan might scare off a few people...

Not if you're dangling cookies in front of their faces.

[Michael Z]

You WILL vote for Michael Z! THERE IS NO CHOICE.

I think that campaign slogan might scare off a few people...

Not if you're dangling cookies in front of their faces.

You've definitely given me an idea for our next campaign ad.

[Gustaf]

You WILL vote for Michael Z! THERE IS NO CHOICE.

I think that campaign slogan might scare off a few people...

Not if you're dangling cookies in front of their faces.

You've definitely given me an idea for our next campaign ad.

Glad to be of help...

[Michael Z]

News Update: JohnFKennedy has just been installed as the Michael Z Campaign's new Head Of Advertising.

Gustaf will be responsible for ideas and concepts.

Of_Thisnation will take care of creating witty and inventive campaign slogans.

(Or at least there's a job offer if you guys want it. )

[JohnFKennedy]

lol, OK, but I am running too, that may take preference .

[Michael Z]

*** MICHAEL Z PRESS CONFERENCE ***

Thanks for coming. Before I take any questions, I'd like to make a statement. As you may have already heard I've decided that JohnFKennedy will run my Advertising campaign in the District. In return I'll be happy to help him out in his own campaign whichever way I can. The reason for me choosing him was the sheer presence of his unofficial adverts, which even though they weren't commissioned by the AFDNCCFMZFSC, were good enough to be copied by our political opponents, which, let's face it, is always the greatest of compliments.

Gustaf and Of_thisnation have been very active in this particular field too. I think the three of them would make one hell of a team to create some barnstorming campaign ads to put across my message of hope and free cookies.

Now, I said I was gonna take questions, but since I want to look really really statesman-like I'm just gonna walk off in a huff pretending to be really busy whilst saying "No further questions." So...

No further questions.

(Walks off in a huff pretending to be really busy, looking really really statesman-like in the process.)