Mechaman's Great Sobriety Thread

[Mechaman]

I'm an alcoholic.

I know, that's not the best way to start this off but it's really the only way I can think of stating the obvious to everyone.  I mean yeah, this has been a pretty well known fact for several years now and I have in fact bragged about it in the past.  However, recently I'm starting to realize that unlike a lot of frattards and other casual people, I am a cerebral chronic alcoholic.  I had maybe two hours of sleep from last night and I feel like, well, f***ing murdering everybody.  I mean, really, anything comes up at work and I feel like driving down to wherever the hell the other person lives and just shooting them.  I mean, it's like the littlest thing pisses me off to no end and I'm a walking example of a character who is prone to rant inducing slights.

I've tried telling myself over the past few months that I can get for a little bit, that I can go a month without drinking and that afterward I can take it easy.  I never really felt the need to tell anybody about this, mostly because of pride and arrogance, but I mean I really need some help guys.  I'm going to be an uncle someday soon, and I want to have a good relationship with my future nephew/niece.  I don't want them to remember me as some. . . . . asshole.

Well that's it.

[Torie]

There is no easy way out. The prognosis is not good. 30% survive. I think the only way out, and it's a labyrinth, is to turn yourself over to a source of authority, and leave  your ego at the door, be it, e.g., religion, a gym trainer, a passion for good works, some sort of father figure, because you just can't scale the wall on your own. It's too steep. You have taken the first step however - by being honest with yourself, about yourself. And that's a big step. Good luck!

[TNF]

Admitting you have a problem is the first step, isn't it? I know what addiction is like (I was a smoker for two years) and it ain't easy. I won't pretend to know what alcoholism is like because I haven't been there, but I will tell you that the best thing you can do in combating it is having someone else there to support you if you're intent on kicking that habit and breaking your addiction. It's hard. It took me months to break my addiction and even then I relapsed more times than I'm willing to admit.

Trust me though, the best way to confront this is to do it with a friend or someone in your life that you're close with. Without my girlfriend helping me, there's no way I'd have ever been able to break my addiction. But have faith in yourself and find someone who can help you, because if you've got that, you're already on step closer to overcoming it.

[Sol]

You can do it! You should definitely get help from someone reputable. Go to a local AA meeting. Or, alternatively, (I know some people have problems with AA) consult a reputable counselor or therapist- I believe there are quite a few who deal with addiction issues.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

I'm fortunate enough to never have had problems with addiction, alcohol-related or otherwise, but a number of relatives on both sides of my family have.  I can't say much more than what Torie, TNF and Sol have already said, but my uncle has been in AA for about a year and it's helped him a lot.  As Torie said, turning yourself over to a higher power is the best thing you can do.  That power need not be a religious source, although it's no less effective than anything else.

Just don't go it alone.

[Peter the Lefty]

As the son of two alcoholics, all I can say is that as difficult as it will be, you have to go through detox and rehab.  And after that, you need to go to AA meetings and actively participate in the program.  I don't know your what your religious beliefs are, and I do wish there was an alternative for nonbelievers.  But as of right now, it's the only reliable way to maintain sobriety.  My Mom has done just that and is now a year and seven months sober, and her depression (which was horrifically bad) has also gone away.  My Dad, on the other hand, is still refusing to go to rehab (granted, his addiction isn't as bad as my Mom's was, but it's getting there).  I got home today after a half-day at school and he'd already had a few (this was around 12:00). 

Thankfully, you're able to admit to yourself (and to other people, which is tough even if you only know them online) that you have a problem and need help.  All I can recommend is that you participate in AA, even though it's got it's weird qualities.  I'd also seek help from someone else who's really close to you.  You'll be able to do it.  It will be very difficult, but you'll make it.  We're all here for you.  PM me if you ever need to talk.

[Mechaman]

Changed the name on this thread to something more relevant sounding.

43 hours sober so far.

Also thanks everyone for your support.  My goal here is a year.  No less.  To quote Travis Bickle:

Travis Bickle: June twenty-ninth. I gotta get in shape. Too much sitting has ruined my body. Too much abuse has gone on for too long. From now on there will be 50 pushups each morning, 50 pullups. There will be no more pills, no more bad food, no more destroyers of my body. From now on will be total organization. Every muscle must be tight.

[afleitch]

Changed the name on this thread to something more relevant sounding.

43 hours sober so far.

Also thanks everyone for your support.  My goal here is a year.  No less.  To quote Travis Bickle:

Travis Bickle: June twenty-ninth. I gotta get in shape. Too much sitting has ruined my body. Too much abuse has gone on for too long. From now on there will be 50 pushups each morning, 50 pullups. There will be no more pills, no more bad food, no more destroyers of my body. From now on will be total organization. Every muscle must be tight.

Good man! I disagree with those who say you need to submit yourself to 'authority'. You are your own authority if you push yourself. The gym is a perfect metronome for the body and the mind. I wish you luck.

[Dr. Cynic]

This is by no means necessarily a way to go, but yes, I am also an alcoholic. Or at least I was from ages 18-22. I have a high tolerance for it, so I'd have 30 drinks in a sitting and not feel anything. My drink of choice was Screwdrivers.

Finally, I had one last big bender on my 21st birthday where I drank non-stop for four days. I was sick and haggard at the end of it and I swear I was that close to dying. That was enough for me. So I decided to stop. Over the course of the next year, things were up and down. Though right now I haven't had a drink since I was 23 and am approaching 3 years full sobriety.

I didn't go to AA, I didn't find religion, I didn't go to counseling because I had no health insurance. I did it myself. Because I decided that enough was enough and I couldn't take it anymore. I hated drinking at all. It wasn't fun, it was something I did when I was upset or depressed or because it was Tuesday.

Good luck, Mechaman. If I can do it, you can too. There will no doubt be ups and downs for you along the way, but once you fully commit to the decision to be done, it will get easier.

[windjammer]

I'm sorry to hear that. Good luck Mechaman for fight against alcoholism! I'm sure you can succeed!

[Cassius]

Good luck to you. I can't imagine what it must be like to be in your position, after all, my favourite beverage is Tea, but hopefully you'll have the strength to succeed

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Good luck, young friend. One day at a time.

[patrick1]

Hey Mechaman.  I too am a drunk, alcoholic, problem drinker or whatever else you want to call it. I've got near 2 years sober after an epic 20 year boozing career from the age of 14-34. I can say that life is much better than it was before. It doesnt solve all your problems but you are infinitely more capable of handling them when you arent dulled or aching from a hangover, the shakes or the depressive symptoms that alcohol brings with it.

I don't think there is one way to quit, but will say that if you recognize a problem then you are probably right. From my general experience trying moderation usually just doesnt work. Part of the reason we make such great drinkers is we live in extremes. Find some healthy outlets to this behavior pattern. Like previous posters I moved my focus from being a lush to exercising habitually. Nice side benefit is that I dropped like 150 lbs. Exercise feels a lot better and enhances your self image- give it whirl. 

I did some outpatient counseling for a few months. This helped identify some of the underlying emotional reasons that I sought refuge in the bottle. AA isnt my scene but there are some good people there and Im happy that it is there if I need it.  Let me know if you have any questions. In practice it is hard but the general prescription is fairly easy- just dont touch the first one.

[AndrewTX]

Best of luck to you, bud. If you ever need help, or someone to talk to you can count on me. I'm a recovering alcoholic myself. Of course, I messed up big time, and relapsed just last week. I still feel horrible for it, and I've learned to deal with it, move on and try it again.  I'm going to do my best, even with going on vacation. The gym is a great help, too. I go everyday, and it's helped me stay off the drinks for a while now. It's been my weeks in Corpus that drug me down to drinking again.

 I wish nothing but the best for you, and again..feel free to contact me. PM, email, facebook, or if you want PM me and I'll give you the number. You don't want to go down the road I went down.. trust me..you still have time friend.

[Badger]

Good luck, young friend. One day at a time.

[Mechaman]

THanks for you thoughts everybody.

I guess I'll contribute more to this.  ANd I believe that some of my words won't surprise many of you who have had this same problem, namely that this isn't my first attempt to stop drinking.  I'm one of those people who saw the movie "Flight" a year and a half ago in the theater and thought that it pretty much summed me up to a T.  The first time you decide you want to quit you feel like you are on top of the world and can do anything.  You go into your kitchen, open that fridge of yours, and then pour down every single drip of alcohol in your house down the drain.  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED AMERICA!  FREE AND SOBER FOREVER!!!!!

ANd then you find yourself, maybe a month down the road, just driving around town doing your own thing when you decide that you are just down for some nice pub food.  If you're anything at all like me the pub feels like a second home and everybody there, no matter if you've known them for five seconds or five years, feel like your family.  There is no place that feels more natural than the bar, and nothing comes more naturally than a nice drink to help you reflect.  You drink maybe four or five drinks (I had a pretty good tolerance, haha) before speeding the twenty minutes home and watching some It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
The next thing you know, you are coming home every night with a bottle of rum and Dr. Pepper, drinking yourself until you can barely walk straight.

Rinse and Repeat this thirty times over.  I've probably spent more money on booze than bedstuy has on his dinner, haha.

Even with all of that said, this time it feels different.  This time, whether because now I see that this is clearly a matter of life and death or because it is now starting to actually affect my day to day functioning.  Sometime this past month I just started hating everything and wanting to kill everybody at my workplace.  I also got real disillusioned about my life, my place in it, and what hopes I have for the future.  Eventually I realized that if I continue on this path, if I consign myself to this reality where quitting is a fruitless goal that will never happen that I would not only live a failed life, but that I would die well before it's prime.

So yeah there's that.  I don't know how I"m going to do this but I will.

[Mechaman]

A statement:

I am by no means doing this because of prudery.  I am doing this because I am basically an alcoholic version of DaveMI or whatever his name is.  I don't believe that there is anything wrong with a non-alcoholic person having a drink.  The problem is that I can't have just one drink, I have to have five.  I have to have seven.  I have to have ten.  And I have to have them every freaking day.

Just making that clear.

[free my dawg]

A statement:

I am by no means doing this because of prudery.  I am doing this because I am basically an alcoholic version of DaveMI or whatever his name is.  I don't believe that there is anything wrong with a non-alcoholic person having a drink.  The problem is that I can't have just one drink, I have to have five.  I have to have seven.  I have to have ten.  And I have to have them every freaking day.

Just making that clear.

I know. I mean, I do my fair share of drinking, but if you don't drink and you're driving or you have a drinking problem, I respect that. Keep on keeping on, brother.

[Mechaman]

Update: Woohoo, one week sober!

It's a bit maddening, tis is.  I feel like killing everybody and half the time I feel like I'm about to have a sugar crash.  I got some beets today to help me detoxify my liver.  I made the mistake of eating two raw ones, one after the other.  Ugh, don't try this at home kids.  Feels like my stomach is exploding.

I mean, you can have one beet, but try to put at least a meal between the two.

At the same time though, now I feel very high.  So I guess it has some benefit.

[Sol]

Congratulations, Mechaman!

[windjammer]

It's great to see your progress

[Badger]

Please tell me your "Death to the Forum" thread wasn't you falling off the wagon.

Seriously, bro, keep it strong a day at a time.

[Peter the Lefty]

Congrats!!! You're proving yourself to be such a trooper. 

[tik 🪀✨]

Rock on, Mechaman I quit smoking one month ago and I feel great. I know they are different beasts, nicotine and alcohol, but I think the psychological tools needed to combat an addiction are probably similar. I've had many cravings for a cigarette and daydreams about a good smoke. Just one! Ahh, how nice! But that's a lie. We can never have just one. Always keep in mind what led you to give up. Slipping up will cause you to feel just as bad as that, if not worse, and is potentially lethal.

Wow that was way darker than I intended. I wish you the best. Stay focused and kick ass. And if you're feeling defeated and want to give up, remember you'll only end up even worse. It fixes nothing.

[ilikeverin]

*hughughug*