What condiment...

[PJ]

Lots of salt obviously, sometimes vinegar, sometimes ketchup, sometimes gravy, sometimes ketchup mixed with American mustard.

Is there Australian mustard?

[opebo]

I detest french fries.

Weird, just weird. But you are lucky man, since fries are one of those foods that really should not be consumed other than on the very rare occasion if you care about your health, particularly at our age.

Oh good lord.  As much as you twink-daddies exercise you could eat fries once or twice a week and it wouldn't be any problem.

[Wake Me Up When The Hard Border Ends]

Lots of salt obviously, sometimes vinegar, sometimes ketchup, sometimes gravy, sometimes ketchup mixed with American mustard.

Is there Australian mustard?

A company where I live does make a condiment called Australian mustard, never had it though.

[politicallefty]

Ketchup with most fries, cheese sauce with waffle fries, and Arby's sauce with their curly fries (which are the best fast food fries). If I want something a bit spicier, I like to add Sriracha sauce. I know people that like mayo with their fries, which is something I can't understand at all.

[tik 🪀✨]

Usually nothing. If anything, probably mayo, which I did not vote for as I was thinking about fish and chips, with which I am most likely to dip in tartar sauce.

Other than that, the only thing I know I dip chips in is gravy.

Ketchup is disgusting. I haven't liked it since I was a kid. I also hate American cheese and bologna. I remember once being at a friend's house during lunch time. His mother made us bologna sandwiches with American cheese and ketchup on wheat bread. I actually had to do that thing where you pretend you ate your food but actually spat it into a napkin to throw away.

I didn't even like french fries until I was about 12 years old. Now, living here, I am a chip snob. We will meticulously search for the best fish and chip shop based on their chips and potato cakes and go there alone religiously. Sooner or later, of course, the wogs who always seem to own them sell to stingy asians who immediately ruin everything, and the search continues again. I am only a racist when it comes to food.

[angus]

Copious amounts of mayonnaise.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Burger King has a kind of horseradish-based dippin' sauce that just says "Zesty" on the package.  I'm going to have to give the gold to that.   A very good Thousand Island dressing also goes great with french fries.  Once in a while I'll do a good BBQ sauce.  I think there are more desirable sides to a meal, but french fries can be great to munch on once in a while.  

Never do I ever use ketchup on fries.  Yech!!!  

Curly fries, however, are a different story.  Those are the creme dela creme of the french fry world.  Altering these delights with anything more than a light amount of salt is just un-American... and borderline fascist.  I'd imagine Hitler smothered his curly fries in various condiments. 

EDIT: My friend Mike used to polish off his fries BEFORE even getting into the burger at all when we used to get high in his basement and go to Wendy's at 1:30 in the morning.  I never understood it.  Isn't the back-and-forth of flavor and consistency one of the main points of a side dish?  

Comments?  Thoughts?

[angus]

My friend Mike used to polish off his fries BEFORE even getting into the burger at all when we used to get high in his basement and go to Wendy's at 1:30 in the morning.  

One must always consume all the fries at places like BK and McDonald's before unwrapping the sandwich or other entrée.  I don't know what the specific heat content of french fries are, but apparently it is less than the materials which comprise the burger, and there's really nothing less appealing than room-temperature Burger King fried potatoes.  I usually eat those stringy fries in handfuls of three or four at a time and polish off the package in less than 60 seconds.  Only then do I take the time to unwrap and consume the sandwich.

Also, at Burger Kings outside the USA it is rather difficult to get mayonnaise, so just take them naked.  (In Latin America you can usually get some aqueous solution of vinegar and chili powder that passes for "salsa picante" in BK, and in the Far East you can usually find some combination of soya and dark vinegar, both of which are okay in a pinch, when there's no mayonnaise, but really, if there's no mayonnaise, you might as well eat them naked.)  Fortunately, BK employees are trained to apply liberal amounts of salt to the fries as soon as they're scooped from the vat of hot oil, so they're not bad naked.  (So long as they're still hot!)

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

My friend Mike used to polish off his fries BEFORE even getting into the burger at all when we used to get high in his basement and go to Wendy's at 1:30 in the morning.  

One must always consume all the fries at places like BK and McDonald's before unwrapping the sandwich or other entrée.  I don't know what the specific heat content of french fries are, but apparently it is less than the materials which comprise the burger, and there's really nothing less appealing than room-temperature Burger King fried potatoes.  I usually eat those stringy fries in handfuls of three or four at a time and polish off the package in less than 60 seconds.  Only then do I take the time to unwrap and consume the sandwich.

Also, at Burger Kings outside the USA it is rather difficult to get mayonnaise, so just take them naked.  (In Latin America you can usually get some aqueous solution of vinegar and chili powder that passes for "salsa picante" in BK, and in the Far East you can usually find some combination of soya and dark vinegar, both of which are okay in a pinch, when there's no mayonnaise, but really, if there's no mayonnaise, you might as well eat them naked.)  Fortunately, BK employees are trained to apply liberal amounts of salt to the fries as soon as they're scooped from the vat of hot oil, so they're not bad naked.  (So long as they're still hot!)

I suppose.  I guess it all comes down to whether one prioritizes the intermingling of flavors ir the temperature of the food.  I could certainly eat room-temp fries from Wendy's, because I was dunking them in a cooler sauce anyway. 

[opebo]

Gobbling all of one food item in the meal before the others, rather than eating slowly and blending the flavors is not a sign of good taste or breeding, alas.  Then again, we're talking about McDonald's and Burger King so that's pretty much a given anyway.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Gobbling all of one food item in the meal before the others, rather than eating slowly and blending the flavors is not a sign of good taste or breeding, alas.  Then again, we're talking about McDonald's and Burger King so that's pretty much a given anyway.

I was talking about Wendy's whilst stoned, opebo. 

[opebo]

Gobbling all of one food item in the meal before the others, rather than eating slowly and blending the flavors is not a sign of good taste or breeding, alas.  Then again, we're talking about McDonald's and Burger King so that's pretty much a given anyway.

I was talking about Wendy's whilst stoned, opebo. 

Well that's a whole different thing then.  (anyway I was just talking about angus, not you)

[angus]

Gobbling all of one food item in the meal before the others, rather than eating slowly and blending the flavors is not a sign of good taste or breeding, alas.  

There are so many things are wrong with that statement that I wouldn't know where to begin, but two things stand out:  the owning class traditionally had food served in courses, and items were indeed gobbled down before other items are brought out, and "good breeding" has nothing to do with a conversation about, of all things, condiments for fried cut potatoes.

Anyway, fries, especially the thin stringy kind served at Burger King, really must be the first course.  If you try to save them for the second or third course you'll end up eating something with the texture and flavor of a rubber band.  

[LastVoter]

Pommes rot-weiss (for the non-Germans: ketchup and mayonnaise), of course.

Although, the English way with vinegar isn't bad, either.

Correct answer, also called fry sauce in 'Murica. Out of the options given, mayonnaise.

[morgieb]

Tomato sauce (NOT ketchup) and heaps of salt.

[Napoleon]

"good breeding" has nothing to do with a conversation about, of all things, condiments for fried cut potatoes.

Why not?

[morgieb]

Usually nothing. If anything, probably mayo, which I did not vote for as I was thinking about fish and chips, with which I am most likely to dip in tartar sauce.

Other than that, the only thing I know I dip chips in is gravy.

Ketchup is disgusting. I haven't liked it since I was a kid. I also hate American cheese and bologna. I remember once being at a friend's house during lunch time. His mother made us bologna sandwiches with American cheese and ketchup on wheat bread. I actually had to do that thing where you pretend you ate your food but actually spat it into a napkin to throw away.

I didn't even like french fries until I was about 12 years old. Now, living here, I am a chip snob. We will meticulously search for the best fish and chip shop based on their chips and potato cakes and go there alone religiously. Sooner or later, of course, the wogs who always seem to own them sell to stingy asians who immediately ruin everything, and the search continues again. I am only a racist when it comes to food.

Scallops.

But you raise a fair point regarding fish and chip shops. Where about in Aus do you live?

[angus]

"good breeding" has nothing to do with a conversation about, of all things, condiments for fried cut potatoes.

Why not?

Off topic, of course.  opebo actually recognized it in his next sentence.  (fast food being a "dead giveaway"  The thread assumes a penchant for fast food, the great equalizer.  "breeding" and class needn't come into play.)  Non-sequitur.  Not that this doesn't happen, but as far as I know, the only socially acceptable point of convergence for all sundry threads on this forum is the National Socialist German Workers Party.  Eventually they all get there.  

My sister fancies mustard on hers, by the way, which reminds me that last week when we returned from China via JFK airport and LIRR to Pennsylvania station in Manhattan, I found myself with about an hour to kill before the train to Lancaster.  We decided to have lunch in the food court at penn station.  My son and I opted for Nathans.  Both our dinners came with big, fat fries.  Crinkle cut and dripping with oil.  Well salted.  Delicious naked; still, I wanted something to drown them in.  There were two giant tubs, one yellow and one red, with pump dispensers.  The red one was ketchup.  My son opted for the ketchup.  He's 8 now.  All 8-year-olds like ketchup on everything it seems.  I searched everywhere for mayonnaise.  I found a giant dispensary of packaged condiments in the middle of the food court which had almost everything:  salsas verdes y rojas, barbeque sauce, ketchup, mustard, honey, strawberry jam, orange marmalade, etc.  Almost is the operative word here.  It did not have mayonnaise.  How bizarre.  Eventually, I decided to try Nathan's squirt mustard.  Glad I did!  It wasn't the watery yellow mustard usually on offer at fast food joints, but it was viscous, lumpy, and amber, with textural inhomogeneities and brownish flecks.  It was like Kosciusko mustard or Hebrew national.  I put a huge dollop of it on a paper napkin and rubbed my fries in it.  I would have preferred mayonnaise, but I must say that, as mustards go, the Nathan's mustard worked out very well for the potato condiment.

Mustard does have its followers I've noticed.  I had a colleague in grad school who used a mixture of equal parts mustard and catchup as a fried potato condiment.  It hasn't made its way into the pre-packaged crunchy potato chip aisle, I've noticed.  The "french fried" potato and the "potato chip" are basically the same in terms of molecular structure and have a shared (Belgian) ancestor, but for whatever reason, the choices for those packaged potato chips from stores almost always seem to include "original", barbeque, vinegar, and some combination of sour cream, onion, chive, or green onion, but they do not include mustard, mayonnaise, or ketchup.  Any thoughts on that?

[rejectamenta]

They do make ketchup chips, though I've never had them myself so I have no idea what they taste like. It is primarily a Canadian snack, though the conveniently local Herr's makes an American variant if you're keen to try them.

[angus]

Herr's

Look at that, ketchup-flavored potato chips.  And they're healthy, certified kosher, and a great source of vitamin C.  Who would have guessed?

Interesting.  I haven't seen them, which is odd because Herr's has certainly monopolized the market on pretzels, chips, and real estate hereabouts.

[RogueBeaver]

Ketchup, no contest.

[Ebowed]

I just made some, actually, seasoned with basil, rosemary, garlic powder and pepper, and I used whatever I had in the fridge for dipping - today, ketchup, ranch, and sweet mustard.  Normally it's ketchup, mayo, and hot mustard, but I guess I haven't gone shopping in a while.

Of course, if I'm eating out, I'm just happy if chicken salt is offered, and can't be bothered seeking out any condiments.

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

Pommes rot-weiss (for the non-Germans: ketchup and mayonnaise), of course.

I think barbecue sauce + mayo is even better, actually.

[RedSLC]

Fry sauce - a mixture of Ketchup and Mayonaise. It's actually surprisingly tasty.

Most people outside of Utah haven't heard of it, though.

[Franknburger]

Pommes rot-weiss (for the non-Germans: ketchup and mayonnaise), of course.

I think barbecue sauce + mayo is even better, actually.

Yep. I typically have fries alongside with a Currywurst, and use the Curry sauce as condiment together with mayo.
If you mix ketchup (barbecue sauce) and mayo in advance, b.t.w. you take away quite a bit of the contrast between red sauce, yellow fries and white mayo..