Hash's Dystopian/Utopian/Troll timeline, circa 2030

[Hash]

Not to be outdone by professional trolls, I propose to you my own dystopian world timeline. It will focus on the leaders of Canada, US, Mexico, France, Greece and Russia in 2030. Other countries will be brought in from time to time.

To set the stage, here are the leaders in question:
Canada: Prime Minister Justin Bieber (Conservative-ON)
-British Columbia: Premier Carly Rae Jepsen (BC Liberal)

United States: President Jennifer Lawrence (D-KY) / Vice President Emma Stone (D-AZ)
-California: Governor Katy Perry (D-CA)
-Tennessee: Governor Miley Cyrus (D-TN)

Mexico: President Paulina Peña Pretelini (PRI-Edomex)

Venezuela: President Jessica López

Chile: President Camila Vallejo (PS)

Brazil: President Daiane dos Santos (MNDTC-RS)

France: President Marion Maréchal-Le Pen (FN-Vaucluse), widely known as Panzermiss

Spain: Prime Minister Soraya Sáenz de Santamaría (PP)

Italy: Prime Minister Vanessa Ferrari (PD-Lombardy)

Austria: Chancellor Heinz-Christian Strache (FPÖ)

Hungary: Prime Minister Gábor Vona (Jobbik)

Poland: Prime Minister Marta Pihan-Kulesza

Greece: Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis (PASOK/NMAM-Cyclades)

Russia: President Aliya Mustafina (NMAM-Tatarstan)

Romania: President Sandra Izbaşa (NMAM-Bucharest)

Rhodesia: President General Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker (RF-Salisbury/R-PA) / Vice President Skillrex Walmart (RF-Salisbury/R-PA)

South Africa (Volksrepubliek van Suid Afrika) President Bok van Blerk (NP-Orania)

[Hash]

How we got there:

Canada

2015 federal election: Stephen Harper (Conservative) reelected to a majority government, soundly defeating Justin 'Bieber' Trudeau (Liberal) and Thomas Mulcair (NDP). Originally supposed to be a close election, the odds turned in Harper's favour when Bieber Trudeau called him a "piece of sh**t" in the debate and when Mulcair physically assaulted Harper. Harper presented himself as the "real Canadiun" who loves hockey and hates facking frogs, promising a "Strong, Stable Conservative Majority Government"^TM. Harper's Purgatories swept every province except Quebec, where the anti-Canadian and separatist socialists Frenchie frogs voted Liberal or NDP. Only Maxime 'Biker Gals' Bernier was reelected in Beauce, because people in Beauce are retarded inbred rednecks.

At the provincial level, Premier Pauline Marois is defeated by Liberal leader Philippe Couillard in the 2014 provincial election. In Ontario, Premier Kathleen Wynne (OLP) is defeated by Premier Tim Hudak (Conservative), also in 2014.

2019 federal election: Dear Leader Stephen Harper (Conservative) reelected to a majority government. The Liberals and NDP posed no threat as Dear Leader Harper's National Reeducation Act (2016) led to internment of most Liberal and NDP MPs for "anti-Canadian subversive activities". The Liberals and NDP only won seats in Quebec. The True Canadian Conservative Party won every seat outside Quebec, despite allegations of vote rigging.

At the provincial level, the Wildrose Party led by Danielle Smith defeated the ruling PCs in Alberta in 2016. In British Columbia, the BC NDP had a 30 point lead in polls over the BC Liberals (led by Christy Clark) but they ended up losing the 2017 election, and they then proceeded to kill themselves because they failed at life forever. In Ontario, Tim Hudak banned all opposition parties. In Quebec, the Harper government's explicitly anti-Quebec policies led to the election of a separatist Option nationale government led by Jean-Martin Aussant in 2018.

2023 federal election: Dear Leader Stephen Harper (Conservative) reelected to a majority government, unopposed. All opposition parties have been banned since the Canadian National Revival Act (2021). While Quebec is still a part of Canada, the federal government has blockaded the province and cut off all funding or services. Quebec citizens were not able to vote in the 2023 election.

Provincially, the BC Liberals lost the 2021 election to the BC Conservatives, led by some inbred redneck farmer guy. The Wildrose government was reelected, but only after the socialistic Danielle Smith was replaced by a redneck dude.

Quebec seceded from Canada in 2024, but Dear Leader Harper didn't care much because "French people are horrible, screw them all".

2027 federal election: Dear Leader Stephen Harper (Conservative) reelected to a majority government, unopposed. Provincial elections were synchronized with federal elections. All incumbent provincial governments, controlled by Conservatives supportive of the Harper Regime and its agenda, were reelected. In Alberta, Benjamin Harper, the son of the Dear Leader himself, was elected Premier.

In 2029, at age 70, Dear Leader Harper stepped down as Prime Minister, after a moving ceremony in Ottawa which showcased his many achievements and his Vision for Canada. He was succeeded by Deputy Prime Minister Justin Bieber, a former teen sensation singer who had later become a born-again Christian preacher before being elected MP in his home riding in a by-election in 2025, at age 31. As Prime Minister, Bieber has allowed for liberalization of the regime, abolishing martial law in regions within 200km of the Quebec border and allowing for free elections at the provincial level (within limits, 'socialist' and 'radical environmentalist' parties are still banned)

However, the 2029 provincial election in BC showed signs of growing opposition to the Harper-Bieber Regime. The rejuvenated BC Liberals, led by Carly Rae Jepsen, a former pop singer who entered BC provincial politics in 2026, taking the reins of a crushed and demoralized Liberal Party (the only opposition force, with the NDP dead - literally - and the Greens banned). She capitalized on a difficult economic situation and the incompetence of the incumbent Conservative government, and has promised a "British Columbian Spring".

Looking to the future, the Bieber Regime will have to face the first signs of discontent within the country since 2021, in the form of Carly Rae Jepsen's provincial government in BC. The situation with Quebec remains explosive, as has been the case since 2024. The Bieber government alleges that the Quebec government is harbouring "radical anti-Canadian terrorists", while Quebec claims that Bieber's government is behind recent bombings which destroyed two military facilities in southern Quebec.

On the world stage, the Bieber Regime is a key member of The Axis, along with France and Rhodesia. The Axis is the opponent of the Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance, a bloc formed by Russia, Greece, Quebec and Romania.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I like this! I'll be eagerly waiting to see how Rhodesia turns out. Also, I assume the US is not taking sides between the Axis and the MKA?

[Hash]

US presidential elections

2016: Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) defeats Governor Andrew Cuomo (D-NY)
2020: Senator Mark Warner (D-VA) defeats President Marco Rubio (R-FL)
2024: President Mark Warner (D-VA) defeats Former Vice President Ted Cruz (R-FL)

Gabe 'The Babe' Snowstalker: 2022 until 2028

Gabe 'The Babe' Snowstalker, a young Republican was elected to the US Senate in 2022, replacing his idol, retiring Republican Senator Pat Toomey. In the Senate, he quickly built up a profile as a socially conservative Republican, a steadfast opponent of women's rights, gay rights and abortion rights. He introduced several pieces of legislation aiming to restrict abortion rights and gay rights. While the left claimed he was a homophobe, he claimed that the "white working-class' concern should take priority over the gay and feminazi agenda". Some Paultards were worried that Sen. Snowstalker was too left-wing on economic issues, noting his past statements about obscure repealed labour laws from 1935, but he reassured them by noting that he was "100% pro-gun" and "not concerned about the blacks". As a member of the foreign policy committee, he was vocal on African issues, due to his longstanding expertise on Congolese geopolitics (after having read a book on Leopold II in Sage Class back in high school) and his concern about the plight of the white man in South Africa and Zimbabwe (which he referred to as 'Rhodesia'). After Julius Malema became President of South Africa in 2024, Sen. Snowstalker introduced the "Comprehensive South African Whites Protection Act"

The 2028 presidential election was drawing near. On the Republican side, after two successive defeats, Republicans were looking for a severely conservative standard bearer who could appeal, like Rubio had done in 2016, to Hispanics and other minorities. Senator Snowstalker quickly emerged as the frontrunner, against Paultard candidate Governor Justin Amash (R-MI). For the Democrats, the primaries were hotly contested, but Senator Jennifer Lawrence (D-KY), a former actress, ultimately won the Democratic nomination. Sen. Snowstalker defeated Amash in the GOP primaries, but to appease Paultard suspicions, he picked an obscure Representative, Skillrex Walmart (R-PA)¹, who had been noted for her strong Paultard leanings and her strong Christian/free enterprise credentials.

The general election started off as a tie between Lawrence and Snowstalker. In mid-October, however, a major 'October surprise' came in the form of "Snowstalker leaks", a website hosted in Ireland which soon went viral. Snowstalker leaks published quotes from Snowstalker's high school and college years. The leaks came in various parts, but ended with very damaging leaks which became known as "Amanda Toddgate" in which the Senator had explained that "victims are not NECESSARILY blameless" and that the Canadian teen suicide victim "should have exercised self-restraint/personal responsibility". Snowstalker's comments on racial topics (including "the Eskimos"), his fascistic leanings (known as 'cogendism') or his bizarre philosophy of life also quickly went viral. An obscure "Atlas Drone Fan Club", based out of Ireland and presided by one "oakvale", was behind the Snowstalker leaks website, but it also received funding from the new military regime in Greece, led by Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis. Senator Snowstalker was advised to go on damage control, but he refused to do so and lashed out at "obscure leftist interests, controlled by the international gay and feminazi agenda, attempting to sink a true conservative candidate". He embraced his past statements, and changed his campaign slogan to Stop Whining Gays, There Are White Man Problems At Stake. Snowstalker/Walmart 2016: For a racially pure America. Democratic candidate Jennifer Lawrence, obviously, had a field day and ran hard-hitting ads seizing on Snowstalker's most controversial statements (as it gave her the chance to target women voters, minorities etc).

Election day was brutal:

Senator Jennifer Lawrence (D-KY) / Governor Emma Stone (D-AZ) 67% PV, 493 EV
Senator Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker (R-PA) / Representative Skillrex Walmart (R-PA) 33% PV, 45 EV

Senator Snowstalker never conceded defeat, he was seen leaving his campaign HQs on election night, headed to the airport, where he boarded a flight to Harare, Zimbabwe...

¹ Yeah I know the constitution, but sue me.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Just found this, that's awesome!

Can I be a character too?

[DC Al Fine]

How on earth did PASOK ever recover?

[Hash]

How on earth did PASOK ever recover?

I'll get to Greece later, but basically I seize power in a military coup funded by Mustafinist-Komovist Russia and other illicit sources, and I establish a PASOK/Mustafinist-Komovist single-party state because I am the legitimate leader of PASOK, my position having been usurped by some random fat dude who should lay off the burgers.

[Donerail]

How on earth did PASOK ever recover?

I'll get to Greece later, but basically I seize power in a military coup funded by Mustafinist-Komovist Russia and other illicit sources, and I establish a PASOK/Mustafinist-Komovist single-party state because I am the legitimate leader of PASOK, my position having been usurped by some random fat dude who should lay off the burgers.

Bushie?

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

How did Caceres lose WV, his practical home state!?

[Hash]

France

Flanby's presidency continues to be disastrous, in good part because Europe continues to collapse into austerity and crisis and other sh**t (Eurozone collapse of sort) so unemployment in France reaches like 25%. Flanby hoped to fix matters by bombing the sh**t out of random desert places in Mali and Niger or deporting browns to their countries.

Nicolas 'Poison Dwarf' Sarkozy announced his candidacy for the 2017 election in the summer of 2016, but Poison Dwarf was killed in mysterious circumstances when his plane, carrying him off to another of his million-dollar boring conferences with Americans, crashed over the Atlantic ocean in August. The official report said it was an "unexplained disappearance", but a private investigation later found that a bomb had been planted on Poison Dwarf's plane by men employed by the Meaux municipal council, a town whose mayor was none other than Jeff 'Jean-François' Copé, the leader of the UMP and Poison Dwarf's rival. After expressing his "shock" and "extreme sadness" at the "tragic passion of a great leader", Jeff Copé announced his candidacy for the presidency saying he was running only to "defend my late friend's memory". François Fillon, Poison Dwarf's former Prime Minister and Jeff's other rival, also announced his candidacy (since 2013, he turned into an emo and a Goth). In the UMP's "open" primaries (all those who wanted to participate needed to pledge 500 euros to pay for Jeff's new pool in his backyard and 1,000 euros for his upcoming legal fees given that Jeff was going to rig the polls and yeah, he was gonna go to court). About 100 people, all of them really rich people and 99% of them close friends of Jeff, joined in and Jeff won 99.99% in the "open" primary. Fillon was depressed, thought about committing suicide (as he had done on a regular basis since 2007) but decided to run in the election against Jeff. On the left, you had Flanby but also Jean-Luc 'MAD AS HELL' Mélenchon and other losers. Marion 'Marine' Panzergirl 'Le Pen' ran for the FN, on a platform which also said she was MAD AS HELL (against those damn browns and lefties).

2017 presidential election first round:
Panzergirl (FN) 30%
Flanby (PS) 19%
Jeff Copé (UMP) 18%
Suicidal Emo Goth Fillon (Jeff is Mean-Centrist Losers) 12%
Jean-Luc 'Mad as Hell' Mémélenchon (FG) 12%
Evan Francis Bayhrou (MoDem) 5%
Cécile Duflot (EELV) 2%
Assorted losers 2%

Duflot endorsed Flanby, Bayhrou kept blabbering on about "national unity" stuff, Mémélenchon was busily preparing an assassination attempt on Panzergirl and didn't notice, Emo Goth Fillon committed suicide, Jeff Copé gave up and endorsed Panzergirl, saying "to hell with it you dickheads".

In the debate, Flanby had an emotional breakdown and started crying like a toddler, yelling out "I DIDN'T WANT THIS JOB!!!! MOMMY!!!! WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME???!!11". Panzergirl laughed at him and called him a "whiny little f-ggot, like his government". Since French people had become insane and the French brain had been collectively fried since 2013, here's what happened:

The runoff:
Panzergirl (FN) 55%
Flanby (PS) 45%

The FN won an absolute majority, with a large number of UMP dissidents (Guillaume Peltier, Lionnel Luca etc) in the legislative elections. Florian Philippot became Prime Minister. The new government announced a wide range of decrees: all foreigners without proper documentation were to be rounded up and deported, France would withdraw from the European Union and NATO, affirmative action was set up for whites (since the browns were leeching on it with their 50 kids in their apartments dammit!), public sector employment was reserved to white French nationals, gay marriages/adoptions cancelled and abolished, the death penalty was reinstated for "crimes against the State". In September, a large number of dissidents and subversives were arrested, including Mémélenchon, later executed for plotting an assassination attempt on President Panzergirl.

The French government turned a blind eye to far-right, neo-fascist, neo-Nazi skinhead violence (against the left, sexual and ethnic minorities) and intimidation of opponents. Intermediary elections were marred by intimidation by the FN's 'security' guards.

The runup to the 2022 presidential election was marred, again, by intimidation, political violence and more repressive measures taken by the state. All convicted 'criminals' (keeping in mind the nature of the justice system under the Panzergirl Reich). Given that left-wing parties were either banned or their leading politicians interned, the PS' only available candidate was disgraced former minister Jeje 'Swiss Bank Accounts' Cahuzac. The UMP ran a sham, pro-Reich opposition and Bayhrou ran (again, fourth time) again.

Glorious President Panzergirl (FN) 65%
Jeje 'Swiss Bank Accounts' Cahuzac (PS) 15%
Guillaume Peltier (UMP) 15%
Evan Francis Bayhrou (MoDem) 5%

Marion Panzermiss 'Maréchal-Le Pen' (Panzergirl's niece) became Prime Minister. As the Panzergirl Reich became increasingly authoritarian, corrupt, nepotistic (Panzergirl's boyfriend Louis Aliot was Minister of the Interior and Defense) and obviously incompetent at everything (high inflation, recession, unemployment, record debt/deficit), there was growing opposition to the regime. A former SciencesPo student and left-wing activist, 'Tony V' (as he was known), became the leader of an underground opposition movement which opposed Panzergirl-Panzermiss' regime. However, many members of the movement were rounded up and interned, some executed.

In the 2027 presidential election, Panzergirl retired after two terms, to show her "strong support for true French democracy". Panzermiss was chosen to succeed her by the FN Politburo (which effectively controlled the country and rigged the elections). The PS, which had given up at life and turned into an obedient stooge of the Panzergirl-Panzermiss regime, did not run a candidate. For the international community and appearances, the remnants of the UMP (controlled by the FN Politburo) ran Guillaume Peltier, Minister of Foreign Affairs.

Young and Talented Great Prime Minister Panzermiss (FN) 75%
Guillaume Peltier (UMP) 20%
Evan Francis Bayhrou (MoDem) 5%

Real turnout was only 32%, hitting lows of 5-10% in the underground opposition's strongholds in downtown Paris.

Panzermiss picked Panzergirl as Prime Minister. In 2030, France is an ally of Canada and Rhodesia. The government's racist and authoritarian are denounced by many other countries, most strongly by members of the Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance (MKA). At home, the Panzermiss regime faces the beginnings of an armed insurgency (the National Movement for the Liberation of France, MNLF), organized from an extremely isolated mountainous region on the Italian border in Savoie by Tony V. The Panzermiss government accuses the MKA, particularly Greece and Russia, of providing funding for the insurgents. On Christmas eve 2029, a bombing at FN regional command headquarters in Lyon killed 5 FN members and 10 police officers. The MNLF claimed responsibility.
 

[Hash]

The Greek military coup, 2016

April 2016 Greek election:
SYRIZA 28% - 123 seats
ND 27% - 71 seats
XA 21% - 55 seats
KKE 13% - 34 seats
ANEL 5% - 10 seats
PASOK 3% - 7 seats
DIMAR 2% - 0 seats
Others 2% - 0 seats

Alexis Tsipras' SYRIZA - running on a watered down leftist platform which didn't freak people out as much as before - won a bare plurality of the vote (but with it the 50 seat bonus) but fell far short of an absolute majority. The KKE refused to form a coalition with SYRIZA, calling them traitors to the proletariat and the opportunist tools of the imperialist-colonialist front. Everybody remained unwilling to deal with the Nazis, who had won 21% of the vote. Almost everybody was talking about a Weimar-like scenario. Ultimately, SYRIZA formed a bizarre government with ND and PASOK, to prevent an extremist takeover. The new government was forced to withdraw from the Eurozone and the economy collapsed again.

Armed Nazi/XA thugs were stepping up their violent assaults on immigrants and leftists, and streetfights with KKE sympathizers became commonplace.

In July 2016, a young man who had laid claim to the leadership of PASOK since 2009 returned to Athens. He contacted high echelons of the Greek military.

Early in the morning of August 19, 2016; sections of the Greek military took control of strategic points around Athens and in other major cities in the country. Hours later, the young man, Gaelos L'Herminakis, declared himself sole legitimate leader of PASOK and, with the military's blessing, announced that he was temporarily suspending civil liberties and Parliament to 'restore order, stability, social peace and tolerance'. The new civilian-military junta called itself the National Movement for the Salvation of Greece (Εθνικό Κίνημα για την σωτηρία της Ελλάδα, EKΣE/NMSG). In the hours following the coup, the military arrested the Prime Minister (Tsipras), the former Prime Minister (Samaras), the entire leadership of XA and KKE and the illegitimate usurper 'leader' of PASOK.

Εθνικό Κίνημα για την σωτηρία της Ελλάδα

[Hash]

The Zimbabwean/Rhodesian coup, 2029



In July 2029, a ragtag bunch of tanks and pick-up trucks filled with heavily armed white men rolled into Harare, the capital of Zimbabwe. Within hours, they overpowered the weak Zimbabwean army and forced their way to the presidential palace, where they arrested President Emmerson Mnangagwa (who had become President of Zimbabwe after Mugabe's death in 2016, at 92). The rebels hoisted the old flag of Rhodesia. By nightfall, Harare and Bulawayo were fully controlled by the Rhodesian rebels. Later that evening, the man behind the coup stepped out of the dark. That man was none other than former American Senator Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker (R-PA), flanked by his wife, former Congresswoman Skillrex Walmart (R-PA). The two declared that the coup was led "by civilized forces" to "restore morality, order, and competent administration" to the country which they claimed had been "destroyed by decades of black rule, totally destroying the civilizing work completed, in selfless humility, by the great Ian Smith". Former Senator Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker declared himself President of the Cogendist Republic of Rhodesia.

In the days following the coup, the new Rhodesian government proceeded to arbitrarily arrest over 2,000 suspected opponents, 'subversives' and 'communists'. The new government was quickly recognized by the Volksrepubliek van Suid Afrika, the new Afrikaner-led neo-apartheid regime in South Africa which had seized power in a coup funded by France and Canada in 2026, as a reaction to the Julius Malema ANC government. Canada and France quickly granted their recognition to Rhodesia. In Washington DC, President Jennifer Lawrence commented that she was "extremely concerned" by the events in Zimbabwe and would "evaluate the situation in all its aspects". The reaction from Athens, Moscow and Bucharest was far less ambiguous - the three partners in the Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance denounced the coup as a "racist, reactionary and fascistic coup" led by "a bunch of crazies". The new regime in Salisbury responded that it would "not take any lessons from countries which stood by as Mugabe and his cronies looted the country and committed a genocide against whites".

In early August 2029, the High Cogendist Council, the ruling junta presided by (self-proclaimed) General Snowstalker and Skillrex Walmart, enacted a new constitution which vested the 'President of the Cogendist Republic' with full executive and legislative powers as head of states, with the High Cogendist Council - nominated by the President himself - as an advisory body on some matters. Claiming that "the old model of liberal democracy has proven to be a complete sham and disastrous in all its applications", President Snowstalker proclaimed he was the Vanguard of the upcoming 'Cogendist Revolution'. The cogendist ideology claimed that "people could not be trusted to govern themselves and needed a strong leader to guide them in the path of light and real freedom".

The new regime, funded by Canada, France and South Africa, faced a black insurgency movement in rural regions of 'Rhodesia' which meant that the new Rhodesian government had only incomplete authority outside the major cities. The Rhodesian military, equipped with French technology, carried out blanket bombings of wide swathes of the countryside which killed hundreds of black civilians. On the ground, the military - 'assisted' by shadowy mercenaries - carried out a bloody counterinsurgency campaign against the "black terrorists".

In late December 2029, in a second major wave of 'counter-terrorist arrests', the Rhodesian government announced that it had arrested one "oakvale" and "Bacon King", respectively Irish and American 'terrorist sympathizers' who had been found 'fermenting anti-Cogendist sentiments with the population'. The Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance responded by imposing a strict embargo on Rhodesia.

[Hash]

Mexico since 2013

2018 presidential election: Eruviel Ávila (PRI-Edomex) defeats Miguel Ángel Mancera (PRD), Gustavo Madero (PAN), AMLO (Morena)
2024 presidential election: Manuel Velasco Coello (PVEM/PRI-Chiapas) defeats some folks
2030 presidential election: Paulina Peña Pretelini (PRI-Edomex)

Mexico grew rapidly after a series of reforms began under Enrique Peña Nieto's presidency (2012-2018) and continued under successive administrations. In the 2030 presidential election, Paulina Peña Pretelini (PRI), Enrique Peña Nieto's eldest daughter and the former Governor of the State of Mexico (Edomex) - an office she had won in 2023 (at the age of 28!) - won the presidency, easily defeating an opposition demoralized by three successive defeats since 2012 and often co-opted by the ruling PRI. Her campaign was rattled when her 2011 Twitter comments (Un saludo a toda la bola de pendejos, que forman parte de la prole que critican a quien envidian) in which she had said that her father's opponents were 'prole' idiots who only criticized those they 'envied'. But in the end, it did not keep her from winning handily.

As the leading regional player in Latin America (alongside Brazil), Mexico's attitude in an increasingly polarized world is of great importance. During her campaign, Paulina Peña (known as PauPen or PPP) said little about her opinions of the events in Rhodesia.

[Bacon King]

Oh noooo my freedom

[Hatman 🍁]

lololol

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

This is some awesome stuff, dawg.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Best TL ever.

[Person Man]

This is basically Mike Judge mixed with Tom Clancy.

[Hash]

The Greek regime and the Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance

The news of the coup in Greece was greeted in ambiguous terms by the international community. Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany went through the cycles of condemning a military coup against a democratically-elected government, but Berlin and the EU could barely mute their excitement at a coup which promised an end to the dangerous political instability which had destroyed the country. From Paris, President Flanby condemned the coup. In Washington DC, President Barack Obama called on the new government in Athens to "restore democratic rule of law" within "the quickest possible timeframe".

In September 2016, the new NMSG junta led by Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis enacted a series of wide ranging political reforms known as 'The Agenda for the National Salvation'. The main points included:

-a ban on all parties "inciting hatred and intolerance" (XA)
-a ban on all parties "opposing democratic values, as defined by the National Movement" (KKE, ANEL)
-an immediate dissolution of Parliament, elected in April 2016, suspended since the coup
-a new electoral law
-a revision of the electoral rolls to remove all "subversive elements conspiring against the restoration and salvation of the Greek fatherland"
-a new 'economic agenda' based on stricter enforcement of tax collection, tax increases on the wealthy, spending cuts in "redundant, inefficient or corrupt administrations", fighting political corruption, promoting foreign investment
-the election of a Constituent Assembly in January 2017 in which only parties "adhering to the National Movement's goal for the restoration and salvation of the Greek fatherland" could participate
-proclamation of PASOK as the ruling party, with Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis as "legitimate leader of PASOK"

In January 2017, elections to the Constituent Assembly here held. Turnout was low (42%), but the pro-NMSG parties won an absolute majority:
PASOK (NMSG) 42% - 132 seats
ND 26% - 81 seats
SYRIZA (pro-NMSG dissidents) 14% - 44 seats
Greens (NMSG) 8% - 25 seats
DIMAR (NMSG) 6% - 18 seats
Others 4%

The new Constituent Assembly was recognized by France, Germany, the EU, the United States and other major countries. Only Canada refused to recognize the new Constituent Assembly.

The Constituent Assembly elected Gaelos L'Herminakis as Prime Minister, who proceeded to form a cabinet made up of technocrats, NMSG military officers and elected parliamentarians from PASOK, pro-NMSG SYRIZA dissidents, the Greens and DIMAR. In July 2017, the Constituent Assembly passed a new constitution. Institutionally, it was a parliamentary republic with an all-powerful unicameral legislature which elected a Prime Minister and a figurehead President. The electorate ratified the constitution with 78% voting in favour. The government was reelected in the first parliamentary elections under the new constitution, held in September 2017.

In the next years, Greece's economy grew rapidly as the government's economic policies proved extremely successful. By 2018, the country returned to its pre-crisis GDP levels and grew at 4-5% a year. The government allowed for some liberalization, relaxing rules on party registration and releasing some less important 'subversives', some of whom had been arrested right after the August 2016 coup.

Greece became a major regional power. It became the most vocal opponent of the Panzergirl regime in France and the Harper regime in Canada. France accused Athens of funding dissident underground organizations in the country, which opposed the FN Panzergirl regime. In 2021, Greece and its Romanian ally imposed a strict embargo on Canada, after Prime Minister Harper's Canadian National Revival Act, which banned all remaining opposition parties in the country.

In 2019, Sandra Izbaşa won the Romanian presidential elections, defeating incumbent President Crin Antonescu (a corrupt moron). In 2014, Crin Antonescu, a corrupt ally of Prime Minister Victor Ponta, had won the presidency. But the government's gross incompetence, corruption and the continuing spiral of maladministration and poverty led to major protests against the Romanian government in 2017 and 2018. Sandra Izbaşa, a former Olympic gymnast, became the figure of anti-government protests. She quickly organized her own political party with close supporters (Cătălina Ponor), the Alliance for a New Romania (Alianța pentru o România nouă, ARN). Sandra Izbaşa won the 2019 presidential elections with 56% in the first round, against 28% for President Crin Antonescu. Izbaşa's campaign was generously funded by the Strategic Development Fund (Στρατηγικό Ταμείο Ανάπτυξης, STA), a secretive slush fund run out of the Greek Ministry of Foreign Affairs, in practice controlled at the discretion of the Prime Minister.

In 2023, after Russian President Vladimir Putin and Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev were killed in a plane crash, Greece strongly supported Aliya Mustafina, a former Olympic gymnast who rose to political prominence as the young regional administrator of Tatarstan. Mustafina eventually took power in Moscow after a military coup in 2023-2024 sponsored by Greece. Aliya Mustafina was elected President of Russia in 2024, at the age of 30. She named Viktoria Komova as Prime Minister. In his youth, Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis had been a major admirer of Aliya Mustafina, in her gymnast days, and quickly developed an extremely close working relationship with her (leading some to claim that the two were having an affair).

In February 2025, Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis (Greece), President Sandra Izbaşa (Romania) and President Aliya Mustafina (Russia) signed the Pact of the Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance (MKA) in Moscow. The Pact established the Alliance as a mutual assistance/defense pact, but also as a strong political and diplomatic alliance between the three countries which shared a similar outlook on governance and foreign relations. Italy, under Prime Minister Vanessa Ferrari, later joined the Pact.

[Hash]

Italy since 2013

Enrico Letta's cabinet didn't accomplish much besides a new electoral law (70% FPTP, 30% PR) and saving Italy from immediate economic collapse. His government fell in late 2014 and new elections were held in January 2015. The left, which had remained incompetent, still didn't like Matteo Renzi (they picked some horribly boring PD technocratic moron), and in turn they lost the election to Silvio Berlusconi and Angelino Alfano's right-wing coalition. Beppe Grillo's M5S collapsed from 2013, wracked by infighting and general incompetence in parliament. The Grillists won only 11% of the vote, and Berlusconi, at age 79, returned to office with a majority in both houses - and crazy, gigolo, corrupt and incompetent as ever.

Obviously, Berlusconi's umpteenth term was invariably disastrous, with the economy collapsing as he spent most of his time sleeping with 20 year old girls and doing corrupt stuff (or defending himself from corrupt stuff he did in the past). Before long, Italian voters collectively asked themselves why they had been retarded yet again. Silvio Berlusconi died in office - or, more accurately in bed from a sudden heart attack while having sex with 20 year old girl. He was replaced by the loyal but hapless solider, Alfano. The left finally came around to Matteo Renzi before the 2020 elections, and the left won an absolute majority in both houses in the 2020 elections.

Matteo Renzi was pretty competent, restored the economy and investigated old cases of corruption from the Berlusconi days. He was reelected in 2025, but had only a tiny majority in the Senate. His government was unable to accomplish much and ended up relatively unpopular. Renzi stepped down in 2029, and called early elections for the fall of 2029. The left chose Vanessa Ferrari, a 38 year old former Olympic gymnast, as its candidate. Led by Ferrari, the left regained its majority in both houses in the 2029 election. Athens' Strategic Development Fund (STA) funded Ferrari's campaign in 2029.

In November 2029, Italy joined the Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance. Prime Minister Vanessa Ferrari has taken a much more proactive position in foreign affairs - she has condemned the Panzermiss regime in France, the Rhodesian coup and is suspected of providing refuge (in the Aosta Valley) to the French insurgency (MNLF) led by Tony V.

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OK, I'm going to get into the actual meat of it now, although I might come back and add countries or discuss in more details important events before 2030.

Major world events January - July 2030

January
16: Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis (Greece), Foreign Minister Maria Paseka (Russia), Prime Minister Cătălina Ponor (Romania) and Prime Minister Vanessa Ferrari (Italy) meet for the annual summit of the Mustafinist-Komovist Alliance in Rome, Italy. The topic of the day is the recent wave of arrests by the Snowstalker regime in Rhodesia. The Alliance continues to enforce a strict embargo on Rhodesia.

21: The French government announces the arrest of 35 suspected MNLF 'terrorists' suspected in the Christmas Eve bombing of FN regional command headquarters in Lyon which killed 15. Charged with 'crimes against the State', they all face the death penalty. Greek Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis denounces "arbitrary arrests by a fascist regime".

22: A federal by-election is held in Calgary-Harperia to replace retiring Prime Minister Dear Leader Stephen Harper. The Conservative candidate is elected unopposed.

24: Congresswoman McKayla Maroney (R-CA) announces her candidacy for Governor of California in the November mid-term elections. She was first elected to Congress in 2024. Governor Katy Perry (D-CA) is running for a second term.

February
3-11: The Rhodesian military launches 'Operation White Earth' against black rebel groups in the north of the country, on the Zambian border. On Feb. 11, the Rhodesian government reports that over 500 rebels have been killed and many more held as prisoners.

19: The Cogendist Rhodesian Front (CRF), the ruling party led by President Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker, wins 99% in local elections denounced as a 'sham' by the Alliance but hailed as 'democratic breakthroughs' by Canada and France.

21: President Jennifer Lawrence (USA) begins a state visit to Greece, her first visit to the country since she took office in January 2029.

22: An attack on a French military outpost in Savoie, 35kms from the Italian borders, kills 4 French military personnel and officers. The MNLF claims responsibility, in retribution for the January arrests of 35 MNLF suspects.

27: The 35 MNLF suspected terrorists are found guilty on all counts and sentenced to death. Under the Terrorism Act, those found guilty of terrorism may not appeal their sentences. They are executed by guillotine on February 28.

March
1: Italy announces that it is closing its borders with France. Greece and Romania announce that they are recalling their ambassadors in Paris and suspending diplomatic relations with France. President Jennifer Lawrence (USA) "strongly condemns" the execution of the 35 MNLF 'terrorists' after what she described as "a sham trial".

12: In the Mexican presidential election, PRI candidate Paulina Peña Pretelini's campaign is shaken by the publication of her 2011 Twitter quotes. PauPen defends herself saying that her "youthful mistakes" should not be held against her. Her polling numbers nevertheless fall from 51% to 44%.

19: The new Premier of British Columbia, Carly Rae Jepsen, announces the BC provincial government's intentions to repeal preventive detention laws passed by the previous BC Conservative government.

31: PASOK and its allies sweep regional elections in Greece.

April
8: A new wave of mass arrests in Rhodesia. The Rhodesian government announces that it has detain an additional 150 suspected terrorists or subversives.

10: The High Cogendist Court in Salisbury, Rhodesia sentences 'foreign terrorist sympathizers' oakvale and Bacon King to life in prison.

11: Vice President Emma Stone (USA), during a state visit in Brazil, calls on the Rhodesian government to release Bacon King immediately. The Alliance joins her in denouncing a "sham trial".

23: President Aliya Mustafina (Russia) begins a state visit in Italy.

May
15: Prime Minister Justin Bieber (Canada) begins a highly controversial state visit in Rhodesia. The Alliance condemns Bieber's decision to visit a racist and fascistic regime.

17: Prime Minister Justin Bieber (Canada) and President Gabe 'the Babe' Snowstalker (Rhodesia) sign a mutual assistance pact, pledging support for the other if one country is attacked. The Alliance derides the new alliance as "the alliance of the racists and fascists".

21: A FN candidate is shot and wounded while campaigning for a local by-election in Annecy, Haute-Savoie.

23: In a televised message published by a Greek media outlet, Tony V, the masked leader of the MNLF, announces that the MNLF will seek to make "whole swathes of France ungovernable for the fascist regime".

June
3: An explosion at a Quebec government office in Val-d'Or, QC kills one police man and wounds up to fifteen public servants. No group claims responsibility for the attack, but Quebec Prime Minister Jean-Martin Aussant alleges that a 'paramilitary' organization which he claims receives funding from the Canadian government is responsible. Prime Minister Justin Bieber denies all responsibility, and urges Quebec to "take responsibility for its own problems".

21: Synchronized car bombings in Yegoryevsk and Voronezh, Russia - the hometowns of the President and Prime Minister respectively - claim up to 20 victims.

23: The Russian government announces the arrest of six suspects for the double car bombings in Yegoryevsk and Voronezh. The Greek government pledges full cooperation with the Russian authorities to "find the terrorists behind this despicable act of violence".

July
7: Mexican presidential elections:

Paulina Peña Pretelini (PRI/PVEM) 47%
Luisa Alcalde (Morena/PRD) 28%
Fernando Yunes (PAN) 25%

The PRI and PVEM win an absolute majority in both houses of Congress.

[Kitteh]

You never covered the Mustafinist-Komovist Revolution in Russia.

[Antonio the Sixth]

So something good is happening to Italy for once? And female gymnasts/popstars rule the world? I'd take this world over RL any day.

No, time to liberate France, Canada and Rhodesia!

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A few more words on Russia

In December 2023, President Vladimir Putin (reelected 2016, 2020) and Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev were killed in a plane crash in Siberia. The circumstances remain fairly mysterious, but the official report (published in 2024 under President Mustafina) which claims it was a mechanical failure in the plane seems fairly believable.

Putin and Medvedev's untimely death kicked off a succession crisis which Putin had not anticipated. Despite his advanced age (71), he was planning to run for reelection in 2024 and he had not groomed an obvious successor who was not a useless non-entity (like Medvedev). There was no shortage of potential successors: the Chairman of the Federation Council Valentina Matviyenko (age 74), Putin loyalist Sergei Ivanov (70), security boss-turned-oligarch Igor Sechin (63) and a whole slew of regional bosses including Alexander Tkachyov (Governor of Krasnodar). But many of these figures were unpopular with the public (but that didn't matter much), a lot of them were fairly old, and most of them known for being horribly corrupt. Russia's economy had entered a slump after 2019, and the Putin regime had become unpopular that it resorted to even more violence and repression to secure its hold on power. But without Putin, the old apparatus was divided and would probably have a tougher time to survive. On the outside, foreign powers were interested in what was going on in Russia. France was seen as pushing Alexander Tkachyov, known for his tough stance against illegal immigration.

The dark horse contender in the race was Aliya Mustafina, a former Olympic gymnast. Mustafina, after a successful career in gymnastics in her teen years, had risen to political prominence. She was the protege of the President of her native Tatarstan, Rustam Minnikhanov. In 2020, Minnikhanov died. President Putin appointed Mustafina to succeed him as President of Tatarstan, at the age of 26. Mustafina was nominated by Putin, but she soon took her independence from the increasingly unpopular Kremlin. She did not run an electoral machine which rigged the elections for Putin or ER, but instead ran Tatarstan as her own personal fiefdom.

Aliya Mustafina, at the age of 29, represented a young voice for change. She became a major contender for the succession. She had support from a number of 'ethnic republic' bosses and key sectors in the military. More importantly, she was supported by Athens. Prime Minister Gaelos L'Herminakis, when younger, had been a major admirer of Aliya Mustafina when she was an Olympic gymnast, and he still saw in her a friendly and youthful alternative. After two weeks of chaos, tanks rolled onto Red Square on January 1 2024 and assumed control of the government. The military units behind the coup were mostly from Tatarstan, Moscow Oblast and southwestern European Russia (particularly Voronezh and Tula Oblasts, where Mustafina was supported by her former team-mates-turned-politicians Viktoria Komova and Ksenia Afanasyeva). They also received outside support for Greece (and Romania), in the form of Greek military advisers or funding through Greece's secretive Strategic Development Fund (STA).

The military coup in Moscow soon spread throughout the country, and by January 3, the entire federation was controlled by military units loyal to Aliya Mustafina, who was proclaimed as Acting President. A wave of arrests followed, in which all of Mustafina's potential leadership rivals were summarily arrested. In March 2024, Aliya Mustafina was elected President.

President Mustafina chose Viktoria Komova as her Prime Minister, and filled her cabinet with former gymnasts who had followed her in politics. Maria Paseka became Foreign Minister, Ksenia Afanasyeva became Defense Minister and Anastasia Grishina became Finance Minister.

She proclaimed a 'Mustafinist-Komovist Revolution' and the National Movement "Aliya Mustafina" (NMAM) became the ruling party. The Mustafinist-Komovist Revolution included major political, social and economic reforms including a popular campaign against corruption. Tons of former Putin apparatchiks and former Kremlin outsiders were arrested and charged with corruption, and most of them sentenced. The Mustafinist-Komovist Revolution saw Moscow take an active role in foreign policy as well. Russia became a close ally of Greece and Romania, formalized as an alliance with the MKA Pact in 2025. Russia has been Canada's sworn rival for control of Arctic waters. The Kremlin also opposed the Rhodesian coup in 2029. Opponents have accused Mustafina of restricting civil liberties, political freedoms and other freedom stuff.

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World map:



Random explanations for other countries:
-Bulgaria and Moldova: ruled by pro-Alliance governments
-Zambia: close collaboration with the Alliance in response to Rhodesian coup and border tensions with Rhodesia (suspected of aiding black rebels)

-Hungary: ruled by authoritarian/fascist government since Orban
-Spain: the PP government of Prime Minister Soraya Sáenz de Santamaría has close ties with Canada and France
-Belarus: opposed the Mustafinist-Komovist takeover in Russia in 2024
-Austria: far-right government
-Albania: dislikes Greece
-Macedonia: really dislikes Greece
-BC has a different shade because CRJ's government is kind of dissidentish.

-Brazil: major regional power with influence in Portuguese-speaking countries in southern Africa (Angola, Mozambique). Haven't thought of a president, would be open to proposals (realistic or not).

-US: self-explanatory. Strong influence in SE Asia. Burma is a democratic(ish) country, Korea is reunified, Afghanistan/Pakistan still a war zone but nobody cares anymore, KSA still has oil running so the Al-Sauds are sticking around, Israel obviously, Libya has become some kind of pre-revolution Egypt, Cuba is now a pro-American democratic(ish) nation since the Castros fell in circa 2020-2025

-China: still the PRC, some more political reforms but not much, still crony capitalist corrupt regime, influence in Africa (DRC and Ethiopia especially),