It finally happened!

[Torie]

After 13 months of job hunting, hopes getting up, second interviews, getting so close, getting a tentative offer, and then crashing, e.g., the construction project fell through, and no project, and no job, my roommate has found a job! (The letter just come in by email 30 minutes ago.) It is with a company that makes and installs bulletproof glass, mostly in banks, and now per recent news, maybe in schools. He will supervise and manage the installation. It took 3 interviews and two weeks to land it. We strategized together for each interview session, before and after.

So that means he will get his own place in two or three months, and then I can help him get custody of his kids from his dysfunctional, alcoholic, bipolar ex-wife, who is making it very difficult to avoid the kids going downhill into the abyss. It does not help that their 15 year old half brother and their mother smoke dope in front of the 7 and 11 year olds, with raucous parties, booze, and random teen-aged sex going on, with no set schedule, no set bedtimes (the kids often fall asleep when they are here, and in class), and only intermittent cooking for them to balance off their junk food diets. It's been horrible, and a couple of times, I thought about having social services intervene.

Ron is living with me, because I live not far from the mother from hell, so his kids can stay at my place on Tuesday nights, and some weekends.  When his two boys are here in my home, the bong, etc, repairs to my bedroom. I wish to show them another way to live, with set meal times, eating together with the TV off, and having a conversation, table manners, please and thank you, helping clean up afterwards, managing conflict without fists flying, reading together (yes reading, what a concept!) and on and on. I can see that it has had some positive impact, but the headwinds emanating from their other venue are a real challenge.

I am one happy man, and Ron of course is ecstatic. The eagle has landed!  

[Napoleon]

Congrats! Its awesome that you're doing so much to help these kids.

[Torie]

Thanks. It gives me a lot of self satisfaction. Now Ron will build up a bit of a cash war chest, and then secure his own digs, and then we secure his obtaining sole custody of his kids. I will be there for him every step of the way. This must be done, and sooner rather than later.

[Napoleon]

Thanks. It gives me a lot of self satisfaction. Now Ron will build up a bit of a cash war chest, and then secure his own digs, and then we secure his obtaining sole custody of his kids. I will be there for him every step of the way. This must be done, and sooner rather than later.

I know you've been a lawyer (are a lawyer? Seems like one of those jobs you never really leave even if you try ), are you experienced in family law?

[Torie]

Nope, not a family law lawyer. We will have to figure out how to do this. Maybe I will retain a family law lawyer, but do most of the work, and kept the attorney on a very tight leash, to keep the quality up (with me doing most of the actual writing), and costs down. Writing prose tying together the facts (and on this one, I know the facts rather intimately) and the law is a rather generic legal skill.  I will probably sign my own Declaration, because I have seen a lot of what has gone on with my own eyes. We are going to win this. I intend to make sure of that, or at least maximize the odds.  

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Congrats, Torie. I hope you and your room mate can secure those kids. What's going on over there sounds awful.

However, as I've heard you're rich, I was surprised to hear you have a room mate.

[Torie]

Ron has no money. I let him live with me to be near his kids (who were/are in a desperate situation, which is why he quit his job in Colorado, to try to find one in Orange County). I also provided board obviously. I am good friends with his mother, who manages my desert properties. Through her, we became pals, and did things together in Grand Junction, Colorado, when he lived there, including tearing around on dirt roads in these mini jeeps that are awesome on rough roads. It was a total blast. I think I put up a couple of pics of my adventures there. When friends need help, and you can help, you help. KISS. And I have 3 bedrooms upstairs, and use but one (hardly ever go into the other two), so there is plenty of room.

We plan to go back to the area to the Grand Junction area to play this summer when the moon is dark, via Boulder, Utah (the darkest spot in the continental 48), with a telescope, and stay with the kids at the guest ranch near Boulder out in the middle of nowhere, where they can horseback, fish and hike, as well as savor the stars. I am looking forward to that.

[opebo]

How's a man working full time on a small salary going to take care of a bunch of kids?  Will you be doing the baby sitting, Torie?

Or I don't know - maybe 7 and 11 are old enough to stay in the house alone?

[Torie]

How's a man working full time on a small salary going to take care of a bunch of kids?  Will you be doing the baby sitting, Torie?

Or I don't know - maybe 7 and 11 are old enough to stay in the house alone?

Read the text above opebo. He will save up some money, then move, then get custody. He is making 45K per year. That is enough. Plus his wife will need to pay some child support (if she is employed - she just lost her bookkeeping job). The latchkey kid(s) issue will have to be addressed. San Clemente has a facility where kids can study from the end of school, until the work day is over. The mother will probably come over more from the desert to help out. Maybe Ron will get a girl friend now. One step at a time. And Ron will need to choose carefully where he lives, given all the considerations, including school issues.

And no, I don't think the kids are old enough to stay alone. Plus it would be unfair to the older kid when he hits 13 or so, to make him babysit the younger on a regular basis. He has his own life to lead, and get together, and that is tough enough.

This is beginning to sound like an update thread isn't it?    And just as Jeff has his plans, well Ron and I have ours.  So many plans, so little time.

[opebo]

I like the update aspect, Torie, but I'm a little disappointed it isn't about your exploits- rather those of your charge.  It is like getting an update thread from BushOK's dad!

Still, regarding the $45,000 - can a man live on that with a couple of kids in LA?  Or are you assuming he'd still get government assistance?  I'm assuming the mother does get that now, or they'd surely be dead already?

[Torie]

Yes, one can live on 45K in OC - if one is careful. He also is provided with health insurance. As to something more about me, much of it would have to be Bowdlerized, or I would get banned. (I am quite the "extrovert" these days; and it is not as if I am not quite self revelatory as it is, would you not agree?) Would you miss me?  

[opebo]

As to something more about me, much of it would have to be Bowdlerized, or I would get banned.

Go for it!  I'd enjoy hearing about it even if you spoke entirely in amusing euphemisms.  I love euphemisms more than the real thing.

[memphis]

I like the update aspect, Torie, but I'm a little disappointed it isn't about your exploits- rather those of your charge.  It is like getting an update thread from BushOK's dad!

Still, regarding the $45,000 - can a man live on that with a couple of kids in LA?  Or are you assuming he'd still get government assistance?  I'm assuming the mother does get that now, or they'd surely be dead already?

Opie, surely you can add one and one. Torie is what is what is commonly known as a sugar daddy. And I do not judge him for it. Sounds like everybody wins.

[Torie]

I like the update aspect, Torie, but I'm a little disappointed it isn't about your exploits- rather those of your charge.  It is like getting an update thread from BushOK's dad!

Still, regarding the $45,000 - can a man live on that with a couple of kids in LA?  Or are you assuming he'd still get government assistance?  I'm assuming the mother does get that now, or they'd surely be dead already?

Opie, surely you can add one and one. Torie is what is what is commonly known as a sugar daddy. And I do not judge him for it. Sounds like everybody wins.

No, I won't be subsidizing him beyond the custody matter. He will need to live within his means. It can be done.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The thread title made me hope for something more than this, but you've been a wonderful sugar daddy although forcing him into the humiliation of paid employment leaves something to be desired.

I'm glad he doesn't have his own Update........it would be more depressing than Bushie's.

I support your update thread.  I'm sure you can sanitize the talk of orgies, etc. to avoid death points.

[ilikeverin]

You are a gentleman and a scholar, Torie

[Kaine for Senate '18]

You are a gentleman and a scholar, Torie

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Aren't you too rich to have a roomate?

[opebo]

Opie, surely you can add one and one. Torie is what is what is commonly known as a sugar daddy. And I do not judge him for it. Sounds like everybody wins.

I had guessed the roommate was a rent-boy at the beginning, but all this personal involvement and particularly the forcing the rent-boy to get a job... well, its just too kinky and weird for me.  But I guess.. its all just a case of people mixing up work with personal.

I have a couple of regulars, real favorites.. I just tried to see them once a week, not live with them or get involved in their personal lives!  (though I have to admit this hasn't worked all that well, they've both moved a bit further away, prioritizing more lucrative opportunities, and I see them only rarely now).

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Torie is a sugar daddy? It sounds to me like he is just helping someone get back onto their feet. He's exactly the kind of person BushOK needs in his life.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Torie is a sugar daddy? It sounds to me like he is just helping someone get back onto their feet. He's exactly the kind of person BushOK needs in his life.

Except that this guy has a plan.  Bushie has no plan.

[Torie]

I want to emphasize that my main motivation here was the kids. It was breaking my heart seeing them damaged so. I think my intervention has been a big help, and it will get better. Mitigating the accretion of psychic scar tissue for two young boys, that might make their long lives ahead more difficult, was emotionally important to me, and I made substantial accommodations to try to make it happen, in between and at times other than my rather frequent recreational festivities.

Having said that, on occasion, another gentleman would join us for dinner. The boys accepted it all. It was all very calm and normal.  I think that experience was good for the boys too, and looking back, maybe it will affect their attitude about gays later than life.

Anyway, that is that. My joy that Ron has found a job at last is unbounded. Now he can get on with a life put on hold, and I now  feel right about (now that he has a job, and in two or three months his own digs), and pretty confident that I will be successful, in rescuing the boys from their present hell hole venue.

Does it all make sense now?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It's always made sense to me. My grandfather was faced with a similar situation recently, where his youngest brother was living in a situation in which his wife was an invalid after taking a fall and his grandson was mooching off of his finances with his wife's blessing. My grandfather offered to take him in to get him away from all the trouble (he was talking about suicide), and help him regain his footing (which is tough since they are 90 and 86 respectively). It's not being a sugar daddy, just a good person, if you are able to afford it.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The eternal skeptic in me is curious how you know so much about the kids living conditions.  Is it the testimony of others, or first hand knowledge?

[Torie]

The eternal skeptic in me is curious how you know so much about the kids living conditions.  Is it the testimony of others, or first hand knowledge?

The testimony of the kids themselves, and their father, and my observations of their behavior, including sleep deprivation, arriving ravenous, mood swings, and the testimony of the grandmother (a close personal friend of mine).  I consider the testimony of the father and grandmother honest. The younger boy ratted on the older, that he was skipping school. Whether that is true I do not know, but the older is very vague when asked what happened that day at school. The mother went into rehab, but promptly fell off the wagon. There is more, but you get the drift. If they stay for two or three days, they do get better. Remember that I have been in the middle of this for 13 months, and prior to that really before Ron moved in, although then I was not interacting with the kids.