Westman Timeline Pt. I

[Mechaman]

January 18, 1980:

Scott Westman looks over at the assembled LA Chamber of Commerce.
Westman: I'm sorry, but don't you guys have your own state Senators?
Chamber member Linda Piretti looks over at him.
Piretti: We do, but they're Republicans.  You however, being a vocal Democrat for the Economy Bloc surely can have an influence.
Westman: I'm not sure if you guys notice but my bills aren't exactly getting main event heading.  I've been proposing the same bills for three years........and every time I do it ends up being either debated to death in Committee or watered down into a bastardized bill that isn't close to the original intent.  Only now, (sighs) with Republican control that some of my more ambitious bills are even brought up.
Raybaum: I understand, the pressures or what not.  But this being a Presidential year, I think this could make a big impact.
Westman: Look man, I'm all for this fiscal responsibility and lower taxes talk.  But to against the party would be suicide.
Raybaum: It would send a message.
Westman: I WILL NOT ENDORSE PHIL CRANE.
Member Steve Minetti speaks up.
Minetti: Well fine, but what about D'Israeli?
Westman laughs.
Westman: You guys don't get it do you?  You really don't get it!  I can't endorse a Republican!  Period!  Do you understand what that would mean for me?  I'm a Westman damn it!  My own aunt is a member of the US House!  Do you really want me to have an uncomfortable Thanksgiving so I could say to her "sorry Rachel, but the LA Chamber of Commerce thought the best way to advance my ideas was by giving the party the finger?"
Raybaum: I understand, party is more than a political thing.  For some of us the political party we identify with is a part of our culture.
Westman: Not me.  I don't believe in using cultural subjectivity when being a Democrat.
Raybaum: Oh really, so you think Ronald Reagan is an amazing president?
Westman: NO, I think he's one of the worst presidents in history actually.
Raybaum: Didn't Mark Hatfield and Beauregard D'Israeli, both Republicans, risk party leadership disapproval for endorsing you in 1976?
Westman: Yes, but I don't see how this has to do with-
Raybaum: You are a libertarian.  You believe in drastically reducing the size of this government and pushing for the largest income tax decrease on wealthy Americans in this nation's history.  Your latest bill to not make it past sub-committee, the Economic Stimulus Bill of 1979 introduced November 5th, 1979, proposed an across the board tax cut, including a reduction of the highest income bracket from 78% all the way down to 28%.  A 50 point decrease.  A decrease so large that the bill was labeled as "too extreme" by even the most fiscally conservative Republicans.  Let me ask you sir, if you are so devout in pursuing fiscal sanity and economic free will as to scare even super conservative Republicans......why are you still a Democrat?
Westman: Because I can trust the Democrats that's why.  I can't trust the Republican Party, which no offense has been too opportunistic on popular trends to dictate their approach.  Democratic Party is the party of the American people, not the American Elite.  That is why I have stayed a member despite policy disagreement.
Minetti: So about D'Israeli?
Westman: Look, I really appreciate his help in 1976 I really do.  But the guy is just too toxic for me to endorse even if I wanted to.  I mean for god's sake he's flipped on the death penalty and I don't want to come across as that asshole Montana Democrat who came out in support of a Death Penalty advocate.
Piretti: But the other day Max Baucus said that in some cases it would be understandab-
Westman: Look I don't like Max Baucus alright?  Me and him see eye to eye on very few things.  Anything else?
The Chamber shrugs collectively.
Westman: Alright then, let's feast.

After the Dinner:
Scott Westman is outside with daughter.
Brea: Seriously dad?  A COC meeting?
Westman: Well, I must admit it was kind of lame.  But, considering that Yes cancelled this show due to the Keyboardist leaving out of their vegan faggory I had little choice.  Oh hey....what's this?
Westman pulls something out of Brea's hair.  He hands it to her.
She reads it aloud:
Brea: "Godfather Part III, showing at 11:20 at Alpha Theater".  Oh my god!
Westman: I suggest we move....quickly.

[Mechaman]

October 10th, 1986
Helena, Montana:

Governor Westman is facing an assembled crowd of the press.
Press: Governor, how do you address those who have criticized your attempts at pushing forth state subsidized electronic data networks and the Green Montana program?
Westman: I argue that a future that isn't enslaved to oil dictatorships half a world away is one we can all agree on.  The Green Montana program is my effort to get the ball rolling, a ball that has been far behind in this nation.  The United States, out of developed nations is far behind.
Press: But considering that you were elected running on a more fiscally conservative platform than Republican Richard Peters.......wouldn't that alienate some of your supporters?
Westman: I didn't run on a fiscally conservative platform, I ran on a fiscal sanity platform.  That means that for ambitious state projects taxes would be raised.  I could give half a rip how bad this affects the yacht club at Flathead Lake.  The Republicans, and especially the Conservatives, disagree with that notion.  We got to make hard choices now for the betterment of the future.
Press: Sir, you openly campaigned as the most libertarian choice in the election-
Westman: Yeah, out of an out and out WASP statist and a "law and order at all cost" type.  Believe me Daniel Lynch could've come out as the most "libertarian" choice if he ran in this state.
Press: Reducing federal expenditures, reduced taxation, and the liberalization of industries from government control.......
Westman: That was achieved in my first year in office!  Yes, my administration has cut over $15 million in unnecessary expenditures from around the state.  We have also eliminated the regressive sales tax and instead put more emphasis on income based progressive taxation that we had to settle on a compromise of a rate of 1.05-5.75%.  Believe me, if I had my way it would've been .125-7.8%.  Some people deserve to be taxed more than others.
Press: Isn't that a bit too much of the class warfare you fought against in Congress?
Westman: First off, I was in the Senate.  Secondly, I never said that rich people were saints and that we needed to get rid of all taxation.  What I mostly was against excessive taxation.  Namely I don't believe any individual should have half or more of his income taken away from him through taxes.  When the government takes half of anybody's money.....this ceases to become the land of opportunity.  My rates were meant as an effective way of collecting state funding that would be harder to get by with property taxes, which are already too high.
Press: Some say that your approach to taxes is one of the harshest in the nation......
Westman: By reactionaries.  I am one of the most pro-free market Governors in this nation.  In an ideal world where businesses don't expect state government socialism to save them, I would be their best friend.  But no, the large corporations in this state suddenly expect this state government to give them tens of millions in subsidies and other pork barrel spending.  They want the money so bad they should write to the Republican Congressional Committee and not to me.
Press: Sir, are you trying to campaign against Montana businesses?
Westman: Heavens no!  I'm just setting the record straight on what any Governor should be doing.  I want the government to not be the best friend nor the worst enemy of business.  Many politicians, including those within my own party, disagree with me.  You have idealistic loons like Charles Manson who advocates instituting some sort of "profit board" that would amount to little more than American Stalinism.  Then you have guys like Texas Congressman Chevy LeBaule, who insists that the federal government devote a certain portion of it's federal income tax receipts to ensuring the continued profitability of overpriced oil by way of subsidies.  I am the logical pragmatic middle man.  I believe that the best business is that business which the government has no business.  Government hands only weaken industry, no matter which why they are worked.
Press: And what of environmental regulations?
Westman: Those are a necessary evil to combat the health dangers posed by harmful chemicals that are released into the jet stream and our many sources of water.  I for one would like to see President Crane to restore the Conservation and Energy Agency to what it was under Kennedy instead of continuing to bow down to inner party pressure and support the greatly weakened CEA budget of the 1980's.  We have only this world to leave to our grandchildren and we can't risk it all on budget cuts to necessary agencies that protect the air and the water that we use.
Now, in regards to the ongoing investigation, I want the people of Montana to know that this Governor's office has been in constant contact with the Canadian government to find out if the men who caused the attacks of Sept. 6th had outside help from rogue groups across the border.  We don't know much about the men, except that a few of the men have a fluent grasp of the Irish language which suggests a strong mastery of languages.  Thank you for your time.

[Mechaman]

World News Daily:

New Westman lover steps forward!:

Shows picture of a ten year old girl with a bale of cotton candy.
Ten year old fifth grade honor student at Hellgate Elementary steps forward as Governor's mistress.
Says Governor bribed her 10 lbs of cotton candy and a leather jacket made out of dead zebra for salacious affair.  Says the Governor and her would meet everyday at recess for a game of spin the bottle.  Animal rights activists furious at dead zebra leather jacket and Catholics outraged that the Governor likes girls.  This would be the Governor's 9,183.283th affair since taking office in January of 1985..........thus coming close to French President Jacque Pudierre's record of 9,183.9981.

[Mechaman]

October 23rd, 1986
Helena, Montana
Governor's Office:

Westman: YEah yeah, these numbers look good.  Hey, have you guys seen the Lieutenant Governor lately?
Herschelwitz: No, I haven't.  I guess he was serious about opposing you.
Westman: WEll tell him to get his ass back here because I am not dropping him from the administration.  He wants to leave so much tell him to resign and become a useful idiot for conservatives.
Caroline: I'm not sure he'll get the message.
Westman: Oh yeah figures.  D'Israeli=Drama Queen.  The entire family really.  Bunch of drama wankers the lot of them.  Have to throw a bitchfit to get people to pay attention to them.  "Hurr religion is evil and Satan is awesome!"
Caroline: Really now Scott?  Is that your best imitation?
Herschelwitz: Excuse me, but what're you doing here?
Caroline: Hey f*** yourself alright!?
Westman: Carl, Caroline is here as an advisor.
Herschelwitz: What?
Westman: Forgive Carl here my dear, he's just a pissed off little man who never got laid and thus it affects his judgement on women.
Caroline: That's real rich coming from you.
Westman: No, I'm pretty sure I got laid before.
Caroline: Haha funny Governor Horny Toad.
Westman: Hey!  I just stood up for youse and this is the thanks I get?  What the hell?
Herschelwitz: Like I was saying.......what's she doing here?
Caroline: Because unlike you I'm not an asshole.
Westman pulls Caroline off the desk and into his lap before kissing her on the head.
Westman: And she's prettier, a lot prettier.
Caroline turns to face Westman and kisses him.
Westman looks at her and smiles.
Westman: Actually Carl, I don't see why you need to be here.
Herschelwitz: Okay, put the needs of your manhood over those of your state....great.
Westman motions for him to leave.
Herschelwitz: Pervert.  Can't even wait till you get home for this sh*t!  Fine, I'll find your f****t Lieutenant and tell him to get up here so we can have somebody here who actually does his job instead of his wife!
Herschelwitz slams the door shut.

Ten Minutes Later
D'Israeli Household:

Lena D'Israeli hears a knock at the door.
Herschelwitz: Hey f****t!  Enough of this dramawhore bullsh*t!  We need you at the state capitol for some important policy stuff!  So quit acting like a little gay boy and get your ass out here!
Lena opens the door.
Lena: Well, nice to see you too Carl.
Herschelwitz: Where is that f***er?
Lena: Man, you are so uncool.  Scott always kisses me on the cheek and tells me how pretty I am.  For your assholery I refuse.  You think you can walk in here and just unload curses and get what you want?  F*** you asshole!
Herschelwitz: Okay, I'm sorry.  You look very beautiful today and I envy your future children.  Now can I please see that drama whore motherf***er?
Lena: Oh right........well here's the thing.......

Seven Hours later:
Sheridan County, Wyoming:

Door knocks.
Beauregard D'Israeli: Who the f*** are you?

[Mechaman]

Historian Edward J. Gibbons
University of Montana:

There have been many who claimed that Scott Westman governed like a Republican.  To which I find amazing.  I mean this is the man who supported creating a state wide healthcare program to compliment the federal public healthcare program.  This is a man who almost doubled the salaries of government workers not even a few weeks into office.  This is the man who started Green Montana, this is the man who brought back the progressive state income tax.  Let's not even get started on the Land Values Tax.
Scott Westman was not close to being a reactionary free market Republican.  Scott Westman was a disciple of the House of Roosevelt and of Kefauver.  Scott Westman was the most left winged Governor of Montana since Brendan McGuinness.

[Mechaman]

Conservative Pundit Sarah McLachlan:

Scott Westman a right winger?  Why the hell do you think tons of people voted for extremely boring nobody Michael Oglesby in 1984?  Law and Order issues?
No, because Scott Westman ran on a program of bringing back the progressive state income tax, of starting up the most expensive government program in this state's history, of drastically raising the salaries of union cronies.....the idea that Scott Westman campaigned as something completely different than his record of governance is laughable.  The people of Montana knew what they were getting, they knew that a term of Scott Westman would bring forth a new era of government socialism in this state.  That is why the almighty Scott Westman once again failed to get a majority of this state's votes, not one, but twice!  And in 1988 he is going to fail to do it again because David Walters is going to destroy him.  Just like in '82.

[Mechaman]

George McGovern
August 9th, 1994:

Scott Westman's record as Governor of Montana was significantly to the left of his record as US Senator.

[Mechaman]

October 24th, 1986
State Legislature:

Montana Governor Scott Westman approaches a combined gathering of the State Legislature of Montana.
Westman: As some of you may already know I have been planning for quite some time to get this Green Montana program rolling.  The cost will be huge, no doubt about that.  But that is why I have fought for this fiscal stability we now enjoy.  We now have the surplus necessary to accomodate this program into our budget  And let me make myself clear:
TAXES WILL HAVE TO BE RAISED.
(groaning heard from the Conservatives)
Voice from Republican side: You lied!
Westman: That is not true!  That is not true.  You want to fund a $105 million program with tax cuts?  Be my guest.  But I personally believe in a fiscally solvent government and every dollar going into this program will be accounted for.  Right now we have a state of approximately 1.8 million people.  It will be easy to get the taxes necessary without being excessive.
Voice from Republican side: Bullsh*t!

Sheridan, Wyoming:
Mendelik looks shocked.
Herschelwitz: See?  We need your help Mendy.
Mendelik slaps him in the face.
Herschelwitz: You little bitch!  Don't do that again!
Mendelik: You know what?  F*** you!  I'm not helping you guys push big government socialism-
Herschelwitz: There you go again with that big government socialism.  You know, I would think that somebody related to an out and out Marxist would know better than to bastardize the meaning of socialism.....but I guess not.
Mendelik: I'm not putting up with this!  I'm calling that son of a bitch right now!
Great.
Mendelik picks up a phone and dials a Montana number.
The phone rings.
Westman: Yeah what'ya wontse?
Mendelik: You socialist bastard!
Westman: Listen kid, if you are going to bastard the word "socialist" I would give you a little more credit than ascribing it to an environmental program.
Mendelik: You only used me to get votes!  How dare you!
Westman: Damn right I did.  Now are you going to come back here like the little cross party slut that you are and give me good he0
Mendelik: Shut the f*** up you sick pervert!  Is that all you think about is sex!
The other side of the phone is silent.
Mendelik: Hello?
Mendelik hears a loud groan on the other end.
Westman: Oh I'm sorry man.......something just came up.
Mendelik: Haha, yeah I bet it did come up!
Westman: (elated voice, as if he just discovered Jesus) Look man, I understand you're upset and all-
Mendelik: You damn right I'm upset!
Westman: Shush little child, shush.  It'll be alright.  Just come back here and we can talk it over alright?  You'll get some stuff done for your side eventually.
Mendelik: No!  F*** you!
Westman: You know what you little sack O'sh*t?  You had your chance for relevance and you just pissed it away!  You want to quit?  Well then fine!  You always were a huge joke, A BIG FAT F***IN NOTHING!  You only got your position because of your name, bitch.  I expect your resignation in a couple of days, f***er.
Phone slams shut.
Mendelik: Tell him to take that resignation and shove it up his ass.  He can't remove me.
Herschelwitz laughs.
Herschelwitz: He can't, but the Legislature can.  And they will, f***er!

[Mechaman]

October 24th, 1986
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania:

US Senator Lawrence Watson is laying in bed recovering as Junior Reporter Han Phan is getting ready for the interview with him.
Watson: You nervous, kid?
Han Phan, who was all of 25 years old and just out of college, was indeed very nervous.  He was the youngest and most inexperienced employee at NBC News Philadelphia and he was given the task of interviewing the most popular politician in the state.  A man, who at age 35, was one of the youngest members of the US Senate.  Hell, he was probably one of the youngest out of both Houses.
Watson: Hey kid, look at me.  Does it look like I'm going anywhere here?
Phan: No sir, it doesn't.
Watson: So, how do you like this job of yours?
Phan: Well it's good and all I guess.  But I don't feel like I'm going anywhere.
Watson: That's because you are from Failadelphia.
Phan laughs.
Phan: Yeah, it is a bit depressing.  Personally I prefer good old Scranton.  That's where my family is from.
Watson: Oh right............your family......Vietnamese right?
Phan smiled.  It's good to know that a US Senator, especially one as incapacitated as this guy is.
Phan: Yes sir, my family came over in December 1960 to flee Communist rule.  My father had a friend, John Frakes, who arranged for the family to settle in Scranton where my father would have employment as a factory worker.
Watson: So just tell me right off the bat, are you political?
Phan: Yes.....I guess to an extent.  I'm a registered Republican.
Watson: Oh dear lord.......I guess I should've had security stay in here!
Phan laughs.
Phan: Don't worry, I'm no good at Karate.
Watson laughs.
Watson: That's an Asian joke right?
Phan: (timid laugh) Yes, yes it is.  I'm no good with a knife or katana either.  Anyway Senator, where do you want to start?
Watson: Oh I guess we could start with my early childhood.
Oh joy, I have to go through this guy's life story.
Phan: Exclusive of a life time.  Anyway, ready when you are Senator.
Watson: Oh please, call me Larry.

[Mechaman]

Lawrence Watson
November 9th, 1991:

Many people were shocked by Scott's tenure as Governor.
Many saw his record as US Senator as a good indicator of how he would govern.  For the first year or so it seemed like this train of thought would be true.
My god, were we all shocked with what he accomplished the next three years.  Hell, I blushed at some of his programs.

[Mechaman]

David Walter's Office
October 26th, 1986:

Walters: Damn, has Scott really lost it?
Secretary Zellweger: I think so.
Walters: I actually had some respect for his pragmatic views, but it seems that once in office he has thrown caution to the wind.  He might be the most radically left Governor we've ever had.  Mark my words.
Zellweger: You know what's really sad?  The Democrats might just win more seats instead of the guaranteed losses they were bound to have because the Administration looks half assed on this investigation thing.
Walters: Yes, Buckley's handling of the press conference was so embarrassing.  How the hell do you mistake Irish merchant terrorists for Russian extremists?
Zellweger: Rumor has it that the Administration knew all along, but wanted to keep it secret for fear that.......well.....
Walters: I mean come on, they're merchants for god sake.  It's not like the DLA or whoever over there sent the men themselves over here to attack us.  I mean my God that would be suicidal, that would be the end of Irish extremism: to attack New York City.
Zellweger: Very true.  I have heard rumors, rumors that the Administration might be investigating Richard Callahan.
Walters: Richie Callahan?  Why on God's earth would he think about nuking a US city?  Much less two?  You know he gets most of his profits from American cities, why nuke two of them?
Zellweger: I don't know, maybe to cause chaos?  There are rumors that be was behind the bombing of the UK Parliament in 1979 that halted proceedings until after the 1979 general elections.  After the elections legislation to legalize gambling in parts of the UK failed.  Perhaps there is a motive that he wishes to stall until after the 1986 Elections to work in his favor?
Walters: Frankly I would buy that aliens did this at this point.  I mean my god man, we're like standing up with our pants down right now.  Whoever the hell did this is laughing right now.

[Mechaman]

May 21st, 1978
Bangor, Maine:

O'Connor and Westman enter the house by the sea to an old Irishman who looked to be in his sixties.
He looks up and notices Westman with long redhair.
J. O'Connor: Even now days not even paddies are immune to the hippie disease.  How sad.
Westman laughs.
T. O'Connor: Father, this is my friend Scott Westman.  The US Senat-
J. O'Connor: Oh you be Willie's grandboy!  You a Democrat?
Westman: Damn right I am.
Joseph O'Connor nods approvingly.
J. O'Connor: You see son, this is what real Irishmen are.  Democrats.  Mr. Westman, I'm not sure what my son is trying to prove here by being a Republican and drinking queer drinks.
Westman: Well sir, you tried your hardest.  I mean this fag can't even get it up for Marie.
J. O'Connor: Doesn't surprise me.  Maybe if he had real beautiful lass like his mother he would be able to.  Not any of this Bay State WASP blood.
T. O'Connor: Mother was Scot-Irish dumbass.
J. O'Connor: See this?  No respect!  You have any idea how much crap I have to put up with at the local club........knowing that my son is a Republican?  No respect!
Westman: I have to say being a Democratic County Leader is brave in Maine.  Hell, I didn't even know there were Democrats in Bangor.
J. O'Connor: I myself ran for the US Senate.  In 1968 no less.  I was defeated by that hardon Brennan.  Damn son of a bitch had so much financial backing it felt like a mob hit was on my life.  And then a few years ago I ran as a sacrificial lamb for Mayor.
Westman: YOu sound like an aspiring candidate Joe.
J. O'Connor: Now days I'm more of a party organizer.  Morale, organization, I'm responsible for it all.
Westman: Interesting.  I would think that being related to a Republican would naturally disqualify you.
J. O'Connor: You'd be wrong.  I've had a reputation around these parts of being THE DEMOCRAT.  Not just a Democrat, THE DEMOCRAT.  I've been in this organization since I was 14!  I could've been a real contender were it not for the burden of raising this kid and putting him through college.
Westman: Fascinating.  A Democratic O'Connor.
J. O'Connor: You better you bet.  Instead we have little Thady here shaming the legacy.  The Democratic legacy of me, his grandfather, and his great grandfather.  We O'Connors have a proud Democratic heritage, except for Mr. Rebellion over here who thinks he's proving something by being a Republican.
T. O'Connor: Opposition to boss politics and fiscal sanity?  That's rebelling?
Westman: Hey, I'm a Democrat and I support those aims.
J. O'Connor: You see son?  You're spitting in the face of legacy and heritage.  There is no place in the Grand Old Party for folks like us.  I mean my damn son, think about how ridiculous you sound: Republican House Member Thaddeus O'Connor.  Sounds like an oxymoron.
T. O'Connor: God you sound like such a cultural hack!
J. O'Connor: You should be more like your friend here: proud of who you are as a person, not ashamed!  You are afraid of embracing your culture!
T. O'Connor: Oh what be a slave to a century plus of collectivist minded Hibernian Democratic propaganda?  I'm many things, but I'm not a slave father!
Westman: Family feud much?

(to be continued)

[Mechaman]

October 27th, 1986
Great Falls, Montana:

Governor Scott Westman looks over the crowd before speaking:

The past year and three quarters have taught me a lot about the responsibilities of government.  It is one thing to legislate, to be removed from direct responsibility to the people.  It wasn't until I assumed the Governorship that I realized how much of a duty this government has to it's people.  This year, 1986, we have seen record numbers of people turned away from the most basic of services, the services that help restore life to people.  Throughout this nation Governors have been cutting back, and people have been dying.
I do not intend to go down that route.
The state of Montana will be a truly proud state.  We will take care of our poor, we will take care of our weak, we will take care of our uneducated.  We will take care of our disadvantaged in a way that a truly liberal progressive society can and will.
There have been those who said that I haven't done enough, that is true.  In the past, in my misguided naivete I assumed that all people needed was incentive.  What I ignored was that Americans, including Montanans, needed more than anything was the opportunity.  The opportunity to lead truly successful lives, the opportunity to flee the evils of poverty.
What I need from everyone in the next few years is the willingness to set aside your biases, to come together as a people, as a state that we all can be proud of.

[Mechaman]

November 1st, 1986:

D'Israeli: I'm not resigning and that's final!
Westman laughs at him.
Westman: Very well then.  I'm glad to hear that you take your job seriously.
D'Israeli: Someone has got to stand up to you damn it!
Westman: I appreciate your passion Mendy, but frankly I could give a damn.  You got two years left in this position and then you're out of here.  With only two years of having to worry about youse, I don't see why I should be scared.
D'Israeli: Because with your socialism YOU WILL BE LUCKY TO MAKE IT TO NOVEMBER OF 1988!
Westman closes the book he's reading and gives D'Israeli a very non-impressed look.
Westman: Again, I expected you to be more knowledgable about socialism than to call a damn western governor one.  What I'm advocating is nowhere near socialism.  For one, rich people can still own yachts and sh*t.  Second, seriously, what the hell can you do that will make my re-election less likely that it already is?  I mean everybody and their grandmother knows that I'm nailing women not named Caroline Westman left and right, I probably fathered a kid with my best friend's wife....after they were married, I met with a heavily armed "Traveler" group before, I've accepted sex for special interest favors, and I probably have paid off dozens of mistresses with $500,000 in negotiable bearer bonds to keep quit about my illegitimate children.  Nothing you do can make it worse.
D'Israeli looks shocked.
D'Israeli: So it is true?
Westman shrugs
Westman: Does it matter?  With the amount of dicking around I've done they'll believe anything.  So I guess what I'm saying Mendy is that by now your effect is pointless and useless.  You can stay here, but you won't change jackfreakingsh*t.  Or you can just go home, have sex with your wife for a change, and watch tv.  Which is pretty standard for you from what I gather, except for the sex with the wife.  I mean really, what're you going to do besides go on screen and attention whore about how I ignored you and am drifting this state towards socialism?  Because as of lately you are entering "useless" territory.  Not even your fellow Republicans view you as a useful politician.
D'Israeli: How do you know?  You don't know sh*t!
Westman grins before coming over and sitting down on his couch.
Westman: Let's just say I'm not the only fan of this couch Mendy.  Or of me for that matter.  This may shock you but I'm quite close to some of your fellow Republicans.
Westman smiles salaciously.
Westman: Very close in fact.
Westman laughs in a manner more befit to a Vincent Price rap than a Montana Governor.

[Mechaman]

News, November 1, 1986:

Fletch Murphy announces intent to sue US Government for "malicious accusations".

After years of trial on his business activities, retail and ski resort magnate Fletch Murphy of Whitefish, Montana has announced he will sue the US Federal Government for "gross distortion of personal character".  Specifically, Murphy has contended that the FBI and CIA have operated in a scheme to destroy his good name.  Notably, he has referenced a recent interrogation of him by government officials about possible involvement in the 9/6 bombings as "pure defamation of character".  Murphy contends that the Crane Administration is out to get him because as a rich Democrat he poses a threat to the monopolization of the upper class to the Crane Coalition.
The case will be heard on November 6th.

[Mechaman]

Montana Legislative Races:

The Montana Legislative races of 1986 would shock many pundits.  For almost months it had been predicted that Scott Westman's Democratic Party would lose seats in both the House and Senate.  The state of Montana, being one of a few states to have Democratic majorities in the State House and Senate, had seen a lot of liberal, if not all out left wing, bills passed in the first two years of Scott Westman's term.  This caught many Montanans off guard, who were expecting the same borderline laissez faire philosophy that guided his term in the US Senate.  Instead what happened was that Scott Westman pushed for a number of left wing policies, namely the largest salary increase of public officials in Montana history, the largest expansion of union rights for Montana workers since the days of Brendan McGuinness, the abolition of the "regressive" Sales Tax and it's replacement with the graduated progressive income tax, and plans for Universal Healthcare, Universal Higher Education, the very ambitious "Green Montana" program that will be estimated to have a total cost of $145 million over a period of five years, and the Land Values Tax which would put more responsibility on the Montana upper class for the funding of the state.
Needless to say, many a Montana conservative and libertarian who supported Scott Westman in 1984 would feel very betrayed by his "leftist turn", feeling that he used the illusion of a free marketer to get elected into office.  However, for every conservative or libertarian Scott Westman alienated, he won the forgiveness of a leftist or Montana progressive.  Further, Westman's turn on the abortion issue would ultimately win the favor of so-called "Labor Democrats", socially populist Democrats who were left on economics.
Ultimately, many had started to see Scott Westman as the "Noble Left" opposition to the policies of the Crane Administration.  Once one of Crane's most trusted cross party allies, Westman in his first two years as Governor became known as the "bleedingheart liberal" opponent of the "hawkish" wing of American politics.  From opposing Secretary Buckley's calls to state governments to use National Guard to put down mob activity to his public opposition to Senator Moynihan's support of stronger government surveillance powers.  Scott Westman, against the advice of his closest advisors and the national environment, strongly condemned Senator Moynihan's surveillance bill.  While thinking he had secured his death, Westman ultimately secured the faith of the civil libertarians nationwide.  His opposition to the bill would win him ACLU's "Man of the Year" award in 1986, despite the organization's strong disagreement with him over his signing of the Horrigan Life Bill.
The nationwide trend toward the Democratic Party in the face of the Crane Administration's bumbling of 9/6 would also help.
As a result, the Democratic Party would gain seats in the State House:

Democratic Party: 59 Seats (+4)
Republican Party: 33 Seats (-2)
Conservative Party: 8 Seats (-2)

And, an unexpected net gain in the State Senate:

Democratic Party: 27 Seats (+1)
Republican Party: 18 Seats (-2)
Conservative Party: 5 Seats (+1)

Scott Westman would have a strong mandate for the next two years in office.  And oh boy, would he use it.

[Dr. Cynic]

Finally some good news for Westman! He's been in such a downturn lately that I was hoping he'd get something good going for him.

[Mechaman]

Bump, for convenience.

US Senate as of June 30th, 1986:

Alabama:
Class 2: Howell T. Heflin (Constitution)
Class 3: Jeremiah Denton (Constitution)
Alaska:
Class 2: Nick Begich (Democratic)
Class 3: Walter Hickel (Alaska Independence Party)
Arizona:
Class 1: Morris Udall (Democratic)
Class 3: Barry Goldwater (Republican)
Arkansas:
Class 2: William J. Clinton (Democratic)
Class 3: William Clark (Constitution)
California:
Class 1: Ricardo Montalban(Republican)
Class 3: Michael V. Hawk (Republican)
Colorado:
Class 2: Mark Udall (Democratic)
Class 3: Mary E. Buchanan (Republican)
Connecticut:
Class 1: Lowell P. Weicker (Republican)
Class 3: Christopher J. Dodd (Democratic)
Delaware:
Class 1: William V. Roth (Republican)
Class 2: Joseph R. Biden, Jr. (Democratic)
Florida:
Class 1: Paula Hawkins (Republican)
Class 3: Roy Holland (Constitution)
Georgia:
Class 2: Patrick R. Geary (Democratic)
Class 3: Mack Mattingly (Constitution)
Hawaii:
Class 1: Gary Chong (Party for the People), after incumbent Spark Matsunga resigned after revealing he had inoperable pancreatic cancer.
Class 3: Don Djou (Republican)
Idaho:
Class 2: James A. McClure (Republican)
Class 3: Steve Symms (Constitution)
Illinois:
Class 2: Paul Simon (Democratic), incumbent US Senator Farley Murray was indicted for "criminal conspiracy" in connection to a statewide political scandal that involved tens of millions of dollars being exchanged between the Callahan Crime Syndicate and a number of Illinois Democratic politicians.  A special election will be held to fill out the remainder of his seat in November between temporary US Senator Paul Simon and whoever wins the party nods for the other parties.
Class 3: Daniel Crane (Republican)
Indiana:
Class 1: Danforth Quayle (Conservative), due to Republican Senator Richard Lugar's victory in the 1984 Gubernatorial Race a special election was held according to Indiana State Law (amended 09/21/67 all vacancies in the US Congress must be filled by a special election to be held no later than the third week of the fourth month following an election) on April 8th, 1985.  Conservative candidate Danforth "Danny" Quayle, who many wrote off as a "total joke" managed to score an upset victory and thus make Indiana the first state in the Union with two US Senators from the Conservative Party.
Class 3: Collins McCarn (Conservative)
Iowa:
Class 2: John Kyl (Republican)
Class 3: Mark Gladden (Conservative)
Kansas:
Class 2: Robert J. Dole (Republican)
Class 3: Larry Winn (Constitution)
Kentucky:
Class 2: Mitch McConnell (Republican)
Class 3: Gene Snyder (Constitution)
Louisiana:
Class 2: Moon Landrieu (Democratic)
Class 3: Joe D. Waggonner (Constitution)
Maine:
Class 1: Roger J. Braddock (Democratic
Class 2: William Cohen (Republican)
Maryland:
Class 1: Beverly Byron (Democratic), appointed by Maryland Governor David Lee Townsend (Democratic) after incumbent Senator Sargent Shiver retired from the US Senate after accepting President Crane's nomination for UN Representative.
Class 3: Charles Matthias (Republican)
Massachusetts:
Class 1: Daniel M. Lynch(Democratic)
Class 2: William Saltonstall (Republican)
Michigan:
Class 1: Lenore Romney (Republican)
Class 2: Frederick N. Fassbender (Democratic)
Minnesota:
Class 1: Peter F. Federov (DFL)
Class 2: Paul K. Vernor (Republican)
Mississippi:
Class 1: Robert Jarrell (Republican)
Class 2: Helm Mundstream (Democratic)
Missouri:
Class 1: Adrian Moore (Democratic)
Class 3: Patricia O'Dell (Democratic), after incumbent Senator Thomas Eagleton's victory in the gubernatorial Missouri Governor Mel Carnahan declared a special election to be held in November of 1985 to elect a permanent Senator.  In the meantime Michael J. Hart, district attorney in Jefferson City area, was appointed interim Senator.  Patricia O'Dell, daughter of US Associate Justice Steven Clark O'Dell, the Democratic nominee would win in a three way race with 41.09% of the popular vote against a strong Conservative William Deringer and a weak Republican John Ashcroft.
Montana:
Class 1: David Walters (Conservative)
Class 2: Killian S. Darkwater (Democratic)
Nebraska:
Class 1: Virginia Smith (Republican)
Class 2: Paul Mercanti (Republican)
Nevada:
Class 1: Mike O'Callaghan (Democratic)
Class 3: Paul Laxalt (Republican)
New Hampshire:
Class 2: Thaddeus Michaels (Republican)
Class 3: Warren Rudman (Republican)
New Jersey:
Class 1: Augustus J. Donnelly (Democratic)
Class 2: Bill Bradley (Democratic)
New Mexico:
Class 1: Raul Ramirez (Democratic)
Class 2: Harrison Schmitt (Republican)
New York:
Class 1: Daniel P. Moynihan (Democratic)
Class 3: David P. Killian (Democratic)
North Carolina:
Class 2: Harvey Gantt (Democratic)
Class 3: John P. East (Constitution)
North Dakota:
Class 1: Robert Stroup (Republican)
Class 3: Anthony Williams (Constitution)
Ohio:
Class 1: Robert Taft Jr. (Republican)
Class 3: Tony P. Hall (Democratic)
Oklahoma:
Class 2: Frank Keating (Republican)
Class 3: Don Nickles (Constitution)
Oregon:
Class 2: Mark Hatfield (Republican)
Class 3: Robert Packwood (Republican)
Pennsylvania:
Class 1: H. John Heinz III (Republican)
Class 3: Lawrence Watson (Democratic)
Rhode Island:
Class 1: Gerald "Gerry" K. Walsh (Democratic), after incumbent US Senator John Chafee won the Gubernatorial Election he would resign the next day and Governor Lincoln Almond (Republican) would appoint Jason L. Lovits as a temporary Senator until the special election held in mid February.  The Democratic nominee, Gerald "Gerry" Walsh, former mayor of Newport and US Representative for Rhode Island Congressional District 1, would win an unlikely victory over Republican candidate James Reynolds.  His victory would be a dramatic blow to the Rhode Island GOP, who were just recovering from losing their other US Senate seat to Edie Finneran just three months earlier.
Class 2: Edie L. Finneran (Democratic)
South Carolina:
Class 2: Joseph J. Tierney (Democratic)
Class 3: Charlie Rhodes (Constitution)
South Dakota:
Class 2: Larry Pressler (Republican)
Class 3: Sean O'Brien (Conservative)
Tennessee:
Class 1: John Duncan, Sr. (Republican)
Class 2: Howard Baker (Republican)
Texas:
Class 1: Ronald E. Paul (Republican)
Class 2: James Wright (Democratic)
Utah:
Class 1: Orrin Hatch (Republican)
Class 3: Quentin Maxwell (Conservative)
Vermont:
Class 1: Major Derrick (Democratic)
Class 3: Richard W. Mallary (Republican)
Virginia:
Class 1: John Warner (Republican)
Class 2: Tobin MacMahon (Democratic)
Washington:
Class 1: Allan B. Swift (Democratic)
Class 3: Harry Callahan (Republican)
West Virginia:
Class 1: Robert Byrd (Democratic)
Class 2: Robert K. O'Delahey (Republican)
Wisconsin:
Class 1: Tommy Thompson (Republican)
Class 3: William R. Goodman (Republican)
Wyoming:
Class 1: Alan K. Simpson (Republican)
Class 2: Wilhelm L. Reuters (Republican)

Senate Composition:

Republican: 44 Seats
Democratic: 35 Seats
Constitution: 13 Seats
Conservative/AIP: 7 Seats
Progressive Third Parties: 1 Seat

[Mechaman]

The National Environment:

Manson: Motherf***ers better be jealous.

In the wake of the Crane Administration's failure to quickly find the culprit behind September 6th, the Democrats rode a wave of discontent as many Democrats rode to victory on the anger of the populace.  Newspapers and magazine around the nation made the proclamation: "The Democratic Party is back!"

1986 US Senate Results

Democratic Party: 53 Seats (+18), Senate Majority
Republican Party: 39 Seats (-5)
Constitution Party: 1 Seat (-12)
Conservative Party: 5 Seats (-2)
Party for the People: 2 Seats (+1)

The Democratic gains of 1986 were massive in the US Senate.  So massive in fact that the Democratic Party, which had spent the last six years in below 40 numbers, managed to get a Senate Majority.  Many political analysts would attribute a number of factors to the extraordinary gains seen by Democrats that year:

1) Democratic Senate Leader Tobin MacMahon's use of voter outrage at the Crane Administration's perceived incompetence in the face of September 6th.
2) An economic downturn that was co-current with the September 6th attacks.
3) A string of scandals around certain Republicans (namely Daniel Crane) that rallied support for Democrats.
4) The perceived failure of Crane's so-called "War on Crime".
5) The extreme weakness of the Constitution Party that failed to come close to living up to the results of 1980.  The beginning of the end of the Constitution Party happened in 1982 when Philip Crane left in protest of it's "bigoted" policies.  The ticket of 1984, which was extremist and racist in nature, would further alienate those who were still left in the party.  1986, in the views of many, was simply "the nature of politics culling the weak", or "the official execution of the Constitution Party".
6) The left wing excesses of the Reagan Era Democrats was long forgotten.  With no strident progressive running on a national ticket Americans no longer had a Democratic national figure to demonize.  As a matter of fact, many Democrats were coming out as pragmatists as opposed to the libertarian excesses of southern and western Republicans and the "Goldwaterite" conservatism of some Conservative candidates.  In point of fact, the 1986 Senate Elections saw, for the first time in over a decade, the rising of a more centrist Democratic Party that most Americans could identify with than the one of "progress for all" that was perceived in 1980 and 1984.
But most of all, most experts agreed on one thing,
7) The splintering of the American right wing ultimately allowed the American center-left, united in the Democratic Party with little competition from other political parties, to make massive gains.  If it weren't for voter splitting among the right in most states of the Union, Democratic gains would've been around 10 or 11 instead of the 18 seat gain that really happened.  Whatever differences many Democrats had, they were still united under a party banner as a big tent.  The same could not be said about Republicans and Conservatives, who were really the only right wing parties left after 1986.

Results would be similar in the Gubernatorial races as many Democrats emphasized national security as a strong counterpoint to the Republican/Conservative foreign policy.

The Democratic Party would be the first party since 1977 to have a literal majority in the US Senate (over 50%).  The Republican Party held a plurality in 1979-1981, gaining a coalition majority with the then minority Constitution Party against the Democrats.  Same thing for 1981-1987.

[Mechaman]

Bangor, Maine
Election Night:

CNN Evening news can now make a projection on the race in Maine Congressional District Two.  The incumbent, Thaddeus O'Connor, Republican, will not be coming back to the US House come January.
O'Connor: S**tf***!
He throw a Miller Lite across the room.
The rare show of frustration by the usually quiet and calm O'Connor caught his friends off guard.
His friend, Hank Hill, speaks up.
Hill: You tried hard son.  Be proud of yourself.  Everybody and their grandmother was going to get killed by the Dems this year.  You at least put up a good fight, despite the GOP establishment giving you the finger.
The challenger, Meyer Thessen, won with a slight edge with 45% of the vote over O'Connor's 43.9% and third party candidate Roger Chisholm's 9.8%.  This no doubt will be hard for the experienced O'Connor to take, given his previous successes.
O'Connor: You hear that man!  They be laughing at me!  I got beat by some f***ing nerd whose name sounds like a Greek Criminal Underlord!  You hear me man, I'm a f***ing joke!
O'Connor's other friend, Jessica Clements, speaks up.
Clements: Come on bro, don't be so down.  You can always come back in 1988.
O'Connor: I guess.....................

[Mechaman]

US Senate Results by State:

Alabama:
Walton World Vice President of Advertising Jim Folsom Jr. (Democratic) defeats incumbent Jeremiah Denton (Constitution)
Alaska:
Mayor of Anchorage Tony Knowles (Democratic) defeats incumbent Walter Hickel (Alaska Independence Party)
Arizona:
Phoenix Treasurer Arnold J. McKitteridge defeats US Congressman John McCain (Republican)
Arkansas:
Former US SenatorDale Bumpers (Democratic) defeats Incumbent William Clark (Constitution)
California:
Sacramento Mayor Robert R. Debs (Democratic) defeats Incumbent Michael V. Hawk (Republican)
Colorado:
Former US Senator Gary Hart (Democratic) defeats Incumbent Mary E. Buchanan (Republican)
Connecticut:
Class 3: Christopher J. Dodd (Democratic) retains seat.
Florida:
Florida Attorney General Bernard Stone (Democratic) defeats Incumbent Roy Holland (Constitution)
Georgia:
Atlanta Mayor Paul Rumble defeats Incumbent Mack Mattingly (Constitution)
Hawaii:
Jonathan Paulson (Party for the People) defeats Don Djou (Republican)
Idaho:
Former US Senator Frank Church defeats Incumbent Steve Symms (Constitution)
Illinois:
Class 2 Special Election: Paul Simon (Democratic) retains.
Class 3: Former Lieutenant Governor Paul Wight (Democratic) defeats Incumbent Daniel Crane (Republican)
Indiana:
Indianapolis Head Superintendent of Schools Kenneth A. Falk (Democratic) defeats Incumbent Collins McCarn (Conservative)
Iowa:
Mark Gladden (Conservative) retains
Kansas:
US Congresswoman Jan Meyers defeats Incumbent Larry Winn (Constitution)
Kentucky:
NBC Senior Journalist Nick J. Clooney (Democratic) defeatsIncumbent Gene Snyder (Constitution)
Louisiana:
Raymond Cresacaunt (Democratic) defeats Incumbent Joe D. Waggonner (Constitution)
Maryland:
Maryland State Auditor Hogan Flannery (Democratic) defeats incumbent Charles Matthias (Republican)
Missouri:
Incumbent Patricia O'Dell (Democratic) retains
Nevada:
Incumbent Paul Laxalt (Republican) retains
New Hampshire:
Incumbent Warren Rudman (Republican) retains
New York:
Incumbent David P. Killian (Democratic) retains
North Carolina:
Charleston Chief Auditor Rachel K. Carlsberg (Democratic) defeats Incumbent John P. East (Constitution)
North Dakota:
Archaeologist Michael H. Celsius (Republican) defeats Incumbent Anthony Williams (Constitution)
Ohio:
Incumbent Tony P. Hall (Democratic) retains
Oklahoma:
Former US Senator James R. Jones (Democratic) defeats Incumbent Don Nickles (Constitution)
Oregon:
State Representative Doyle Colleary (Democratic) defeats Incumbent Robert Packwood (Republican)
Pennsylvania:
Incumbent Lawrence Watson (Democratic) retains
South Carolina:
State Senator Donald Mickaelson (Democratic) defeats Incumbent Charlie Rhodes (Constitution)
South Dakota:
Incumbent Sean O'Brien (Conservative) retains
Utah:
Incumbent Quentin Maxwell (Conservative) retains
Vermont:
Incumbent Richard W. Mallary (Republican) retains
Washington:
Incumbent Harry Callahan (Republican) retains
Wisconsin:
William R. Goodman (Republican) retains

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

Took a stab at Thad's race:



I must say, 1986 looked like a bad night for the Republicans and an even worse one for the up-start Conservative party and its affiliates. How do the three (Republican, Constitutionalist, and Conservative) parties relate vis-a-vis caucusing?

[Mechaman]

US House before 1986 Election:

Republican: 207 Seats (-8)
Constitution: 20 Seats (-2)
Conservative: 64 Seats (+12)
Democratic: 144 Seats (-2)
Bold is for Coalition Control

Notes:

Conservative Party grows as disillusioned Democrats, Republicans, and Constitution members gradually come around to changing ID to the party.

After Congressional Elections:

Republican: 179 Seats(-28)
Constitution: 2 Seats (-18)
Conservative: 43 Seats(-21)
Democratic: 209 Seats (+65)
Party for the People: 2 Seats (+2)

The US House results would put the Democrats within a hair of winning the House.  The Constitution Party is on the brink of destruction.  The Conservatives get a lot of the blame, as do Republicans, for the 9/6 bombing and the following screwed up investigation.  Democrats gain over 60 House seats and are within a few untimely deaths or retirements from gaining the majority.

NOTE: I just realized that I've been acting like there are 438 Representatives instead of 435 .  Some revisions might be necessary.

[Mechaman]

Took a stab at Thad's race:



I must say, 1986 looked like a bad night for the Republicans and an even worse one for the up-start Conservative party and its affiliates. How do the three (Republican, Constitutionalist, and Conservative) parties relate vis-a-vis caucusing?

The three parties pretty much caucus in a sort of "right wing alliance" kind of way.  Pretty much they believe they would rather have a Hatfield in charge than a MacMahon in charge.  Sadly for them, it's ended up hurting them more than helping them.

[Mechaman]

Current US Governors

As of April 1986:

Alabama: George Wallace, Jr. (Dixiecratic)
Alaska: Maurice R. “Mike” Gravel (Democratic)
Arizona: Dennis DeConcini (Democratic)
Arkansas: Michael G. Bubble (Republican)
California: Roger Ebert (Democratic)
Colorado: Edward “Eddie” Derry (Democratic)
Connecticut: Stewart B. McKinney (Republican)
Delaware: Pierre J. Dumass (Republican)
Florida: Claude R. Kirk, Jr. (Republican)
Georgia: Joe F. Harris (Democratic)
Hawaii: Joseph L. Montoya (Party for the People)
Idaho: Matthew L. Buddlers (Constitution)
Illinois: Robert N. Percy (Republican)
Indiana: Richard Lugar (Republican)
Iowa: Jamison L. King (Conservative)
Kansas: Nancy L. Kassebaum (Republican)
Kentucky: William Z. Taft (Republican)
Louisiana: Kieran T. Daly (Democratic)
Maine: Peter Snowe (Republican)
Maryland: Rachel A. Daly (Democratic)
Massachusetts: Robert F. Drinan (Democratic)
Michigan: Michael J. Eisenbaum (Conservative)
Minnesota: Mark B. Dayton (Democratic Farmer Labor)
Mississippi: Hoyt “Boy” Ribbons (Dixiecratic)
Missouri: Thomas Eagleton (Democratic)
Montana: Scott Westman (Democratic)
Nebraska: John J. Cavanaugh III (Democratic)
Nevada: Ronald O. Gallatin (Democratic)
New Hampshire: John H. Sununu (Republican)
New Jersey: Carl L. Summers (Republican)
New Mexico: Julius R. Justis (Democratic)
New York: Stephen Smith (Democratic)
North Carolina: Robert L. Nolstrom (Republican)
North Dakota: Allen I. Olson (Republican)
Ohio: George Voinovich (Republican)
Oklahoma: Robert LaFortune (Republican)
Oregon: Dennis A. “Denny” Smith (Republican)
Pennsylvania: William F. Gooding (Republican)
Rhode Island: John Chafee (Republican)
South Carolina: Floyd Spence (Constitution)
South Dakota: Thomas A. “Tom” Daschle (Democratic)
Tennessee: Nathan R. Johnson(Republican)
Texas: Randle M. Delaney (Democratic)
Utah: Norman H. Bangerter (Republican)
Vermont: James “Jim” Jeffords (Republican)
Virginia: Vernon L. Reid (Democratic), won open Governor's seat in 1985.
Washington: Harrison J. Fitzpatrick (Democratic)
West Virginia: Gerald B. Taylor (Republican)
Wisconsin: Robert W. Kasten, Jr. (Republican)
Wyoming: Malcolm Wallop (Republican)

Note:

Red=Democratic (19)
Blue=Republican (24)
Green=Other (1)
Yellow=Conservative (2)
Orange=Constitution (4)

Bump, again for convenience.