By JOEY SUMMERSKILL, Associated Press Writer William Miller, Associated Press Writer
1 hr 45 mins ago
A team of scientists at in the Evolutionary Social Psychology Science Department at the University of Mercia announced on Friday the discovery of a linkage between work and reward. Apparently, the greater effort one puts into things, the more likely something... anything... is to come of it.
The study of 30 randomly selected hoboes and 30 investment bankers found that the harder someone works, the more money they make. Scientists said they subjected the findings to a battery of every possible test, even those that weren't applicable including the chi-square, Pearson's, multivariate linear regression, logistical regression, t test, f test, and more complicated simulations. They further found that the relationship is subject to the following mathematical equation:
e + e(t)/t + alpha = f(w)*t + w^100,000
Where e is earnings_initial, e(t) is the function of earnings over time, alpha is the unknown factor representing luck, f(w) is productivity as a function of work, t is time, and w is wealth_and_social_connections_initial.
Suggestions that maybe the hoboes didn't work as hard because they had less work to do were brushed off. "We were able to estimate the parameter with a 99% confidence interval," said Professor Josef Rotwang, Head of the Department.
He said he got the idea after after kicking some empty soda bottles into a sewer drainage. "I found that the more things I kicked down into there, the cleaner the street became. I was working really hard, and I was really making the whole place look better," he said.
Heartland Senator Paul Hardass reacted strongly to the findings. "This is more evidence that the country is falling behind due to laziness," he said. "I am calling a Congressional commission to see how much this is costing taxpayers."
Disneyworld spokeswoman Karen Denne urged people not to overreact to the findings. "You can still be really successful while just having a good time," she said in a statement issued by the company.
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/wireStory?id=9689274
