Comedy Goldmine XII: A reimagining with Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

I've got a better one Kalwejt.

McCain/Romney v. Obama/Biden

Repubs barely hold onto Montana, barely hold onto Indiana barely Missouri, LOSE North Carolina, but pick up New Hampshire, ME-AL, ME-02, and ME-01, which includes Portland?

Yea, that is Romney appealing to moderates

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I have this:

You know why Romney would be excellent President and is the best Republican candidate?

1. He's charismatic
2. He proved he can be popular in Democratic states. He was a popular governor and latest Brown victory proved Republicans can be competentive here
3. People are gonna trust his amazing economic experience, esspecially with compare to socialist Obama
4. Ufair attacks on him will assure people sympathy

[Joe Republic]

You just angry because I stoop up for my believes

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I have this:

You know why Romney would be excellent President and is the best Republican candidate?

1. He's charismatic
2. He proved he can be popular in Democratic states. He was a popular governor and latest Brown victory proved Republicans can be competentive here
3. People are gonna trust his amazing economic experience, esspecially with compare to socialist Obama
4. Ufair attacks on him will assure people sympathy

Winfield, Jr.??

[Јas]

What a bleedin' disgrace that is! First ZaNuLab (see what I did there, eh, eh...) want us to Marry bleedin' sheep then 'ey' 'ill 'ell us that it's okay for wogs to marry whites! Wat is de world coming to with political correctness gone mad(TM). I was not born thirty years after the Blitz in East Sussex to a half 'immigant family for nothing! It's 'all the Nazi EU, Brussels, Brussels, Sheep, We Beat the Nazis!! We Beat the Nazis!! ZaNuLab; it's just like 1984.  

[perdedor]

Anyone who rates posters solely according to what happens in 'Fantasyland' need something of a life...

Anyone who judges someone else's list prematurely needs something of a life.

The four are on my least fave list because they are rude, arrogant, assholes and consistently bash libertarianism. I dgaf about what people say in Atlasia. I do think you should stop butting in to try to bash others.

I have no idea who you are.

I'm not sure why, but I found this hilarious.

[Marokai Backbeat]

I won't make a endorsement until  Hudson announces the VP Nominee.

The next day, with no endorsement having occurred..

Screw it, I endorse Tmthforu94.

[Meeker]

Yeah, but in a boring way, if that makes sense.

It doesn't.

It will when you hit puberty.

Forgive me for asking this, but so she gives you an erection, yet you have no urgent desire to pleasure yourself or think about her?

[Mr. Morden]

Context needed.

February 6, 2010: Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) died.

Next are funnier

Indeed.  That's a fantastic thread.

[dead0man]

The ratio of funny:politicsyoudisagreewith is getting pretty low in here again.  The first and last post on page 29 are the only ones even sort of funny.  We can do better than this.

[Phony Moderate]

Horrible person.

World War 2 is not enough to make him anything less then a scumbag. FDR is a hand-and-hand far-leftist.

[dead0man]

le sigh

[Marokai Backbeat]

Funny posts only, please.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

I am filing three motions

Motion to Impeach Lief
motion To impeach Vlad
motion to Impeach adam

Lets make Justice happen People

[Хahar 🤔]

I was just thinking about this the other day: whoever gets elected President in 2012, America is getting a pretty psycho motherer as their chief executive.  Many of these candidates belong in mental institutions.  In no particular order, diagnoses of 2012 candidates and their various mental problems, in an effort to determine who is the least emotionally disturbed . . .

Sarah Palin - Attended college five times and only graduated once, moved up to Alaska where she became governor.  Has Minnesota accent, even though she has never lived in Minnesota - foreign accent syndrome?  Mother of five children, including one with Down's Syndrome, whom she defends as if it's her smartest of the brood - and he probably is.  Daughter Bristol is a slut, with Willow and Piper quickly following in her footsteps.  Former boyfriend-in-law Levi Johnston looks exactly like a clean-shaven Todd Palin.  She has issues.  Next.

Barack Obama - Oh boy . . . where to start?  Our current commander-in-chief has quite a few emotional problems of his own.  Mother was a socialist/atheist/free love advocate with jungle fever who was coincidentally an anthropologist.  Became a Christian out of political opportunism.  Wrote a memoir when he was 33 years old.  Soaked in the writings of leftists like Saul Alinsky and Karl Marx.  Never held a real job ("community organizing" being some black code for "drug dealer") while his college thesis has never been revealed.  Reeks of Chicago machine sludge.  Probably has narcissistic personality disorder.  Make that definitely.  And if that's not bad enough, his middle and last names are identical to or resemble the last names of two of the most hated people of the 2000s.  Unfortunate coincidence . . . or God's little joke on the Democrat Party?

Newt Gingrich - Parents were both on crystal meth so he was raised by his grandparents.  Married his high school geometry teacher when he was 19.  Served her up divorce papers ... while she was going through chemotherapy!  Once attacked the Democrat Party while the House cameras were rolling, pausing every now and then to make it look like no one could respond to his allegations . . . even though he was the only one in the chamber.  Bizarre "snubbing" incident on Clinton's plane in 1995.

Rudy Giuliani - Married three times.  Speaks with a lisp.  After his messy divorce from his second wife, lived with queers.  Likes to play dress-up.  Extremely fascist.  Has an unnatural obsession with 9/11.  Was the Republican frontrunner in 2008 but managed to win only one delegate.

Gary Johnson - Again, where to start?  Unapologetic drug user.  Kids . . . there's a reason they call it dope.  Wacky carrot-top haircut.  Divorced his wife after about 30 years of marriage.  Known for his bong hits during press conferences.  Achieved nothing of importance while being New Mexico Governor over 300 years ago.  Is an avid cycling enthusiast, and is a health nut.  Dude is crazy.

Ron Paul - Confirmed anti-Semite.  Obsession with "blowback", which conjures up bizarre sexual imagery.  Named his son after Ayn Rand, and his other son Roth after Murray Rothbard.  Wants to reduce the size of government because it makes him feel inadequate.

Mitt Romney - Mormon, which means that he believes that Adam and Eve lived in Jacksonville, Missouri and that Joseph Smith was an actual prophet, and wears special Mormon underwear.  Father was brainwashed by aliens/pirates/the Viet Cong.  Supported abortion rights after a close relative of his died from an illegal abortion.  Unborn child may or may not have been sired by Romney.  Conveniently became pro-life before running for President after examining his own semen cells under a microscope.  Is a lifelong hunter who has been hunting a grand total of two times, hunting mostly varmints, small varmints, if you will.  Uses words like "net-net" and "dithering" to connect with the middle class.  Has five children, all of them male, which is statistically significant and indicative of either problems on the X chromosome in both him and his wife, or something more sinister usually found only in Chinese parents.

Mike Huckabee - Again, where to start?  Narcissistic personality disorder.  Was a relatively harmless fatass Governor of Arkansas before slimming down and suddenly becoming interested in national politics.  Believes that trans-fats are more of a risk to national security than terrorism.  Is a populist who supports the little guy, but like all Republicans stops caring after they're born.  Southern Baptist who uses subliminal images to attack candidates who don't belong to the wrong religion, which is either very cynical or very clever or both, all while feigning innocence.

There are more candidates, but most of them are so boring that they don't merit mention, like Tim Pawlenty or John Thune.  Right now, the most balanced, sane person in the whole group: Tim Pawlenty.  The least is a four-way tie between Obama, Palin, Romney, and Huckabee.  And unfortunately, there's a 95% chance that one of them will be in the White House come January 2013.  Which just goes to show that either insane people are more likely to run for President, or that we're all a little insane.  Just be grateful that John Edwards isn't running in 2012, or else this post would be a lot longer.

[Sewer]

how do you have the time to post so much?

[Хahar 🤔]

It's true.  Sanders caucuses with the Democrat Party but he is actually registered as a Socialist.  Which should speak volumes to the people of Vermont and America about what the Democrat agenda really is...

     Bernie Sanders caucuses with a Thai party? I wonder what other nations he's caucusing with parties from.

[k-onmmunist]

Funny posts only, please.

I agree. The FDR post wasn't funny, because it was a simple statement of fact.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

We already have neanderthals dwelling among us. Some of them post on this site.

That's not a very nice thing to say about yourself.

[Bono]

No, it's as bad as Judeo-Christian crap. Women have just as much right to be promiscious as men do.

That is a personal opinion.  And everyone has a right to have a personal opinion.  And it just so happens that if a guy tells me he fracked 100 women, I'd think more of him, and if a woman tell me she had 100 dicks in her, I'd think much less of her (unless she's a hooker).  And is that a double standard?  Absofrackinglutely.  But you'll find most people believe in that double standard, including me.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

They could save 15% or more on their commercials if they starred actual cavemen.

[Obnoxiously Slutty Girly Girl]

They could save 15% or more on their commercials if they starred actual cavemen.

Lame. Not funny even in the slightest.

[fezzyfestoon]

They could save 15% or more on their commercials if they starred actual cavemen.

Lame. Not funny even in the slightest.

He's right.  You can't describe anything I do with anything positive, Ben.  Don't be ridiculous.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

You guys are too kind.  Thank you. 

I have been and can be a first class dick sometimes.  Just ask my family and friends.  (Or Libertas...and he's really not wrong...I don't like it about myself but I can be smug.)

And God help you when I get silly and let the inner child out to play.  I actually ENJOYED Walter Mitty's series of polls about bathroom habits. 

As to Torie and I being the subject of a old guy buddy movie, someone must have some inside information.  It's Grumpy Old Men 3 and the third old fart in the film is our own Grumpy Gramps.  Here is an early screen cap...




The fat on the left is yours truly. Grumpy Gramps is in the middle, about to vomit from the drunken toot he went on the night before.  At the right is Torie, who is trying to remember the name of the twenty-something lady he intensely pleasured the night before.

[The Mikado]

shoot i better bring in my policies

3. who was that guy who preceded Keynes by like 16 years? Anyone remember? Because I would hire that dude.

Ludwig von Mises?

I honestly can't tell if that's an intentional joke or not.