SB 108-27: Equity Act (Debating)

[Mr. Reactionary]

The purpose of this act is to ensure that toilet paper in federal facilities be of a uniform quality such that general employees and members of the public are not left using cheapo sandpaper TP while the capitol and white house bathrooms stock luxurious plush TP. We should have radical equality in the public provision of TP, and that TP should by no means be 1-Ply garbage. Save our rears.

[Mr. Reactionary]

Friendly

[Mr. Reactionary]

I'm just here for the TP I'm eventually going to steal because why pay a store for nice TP.

Stealing government property is a federal crime. If you only want to poop in government toilets thats one thing, but Ill be damned if you steal the people's toilet paper without facing prosecution.

True story, we caught a guy stealing liquid soap packets from City Hall a few years ago to use at his bootleg carwash.

[Mr. Reactionary]

I'm just here for the TP I'm eventually going to steal because why pay a store for nice TP.

Stealing government property is a federal crime. If you only want to poop in government toilets thats one thing, but Ill be damned if you steal the people's toilet paper without facing prosecution.

True story, we caught a guy stealing liquid soap packets from City Hall a few years ago to use at his bootleg carwash.

You'll have to catch me first.

I'll get inspector S019 to investigate you once hes done recounting the 45 votes cast in the last Southern election. I hear he had to take his shoes off so it may take a few days.

[Mr. Reactionary]

Nay

[Mr. Reactionary]

Aye