SB 108-27: Equity Act (Debating)
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Author Topic: SB 108-27: Equity Act (Debating)  (Read 1144 times)
WD
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« on: April 19, 2022, 02:35:42 PM »
Quote
EQUITY ACT

Quote
1. No federal funds shall be expended for the purchase of one-ply toilet paper.

2. No federal funds shall be expended for the purchase of toilet paper for the White House, Supreme Court, Atlasian Capitol building, appurtenant offices, and/or other federal buildings that is of different, varying, or inferior or superior quality to toilet paper provided in or on any other federal property.

3. It is the position of the Senate of Atlasia that no officer or employee of the Atlasian government shall receive better quality toilet paper in public toilets than is available to the general public in such toilets.

4. This act shall take effect within thirty (30) days of passage.

Sponsor: Mr. R

The gentleman from Virginia is recognized
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S019
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« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2022, 02:47:35 PM »
Literally what is the purpose of this?
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Mr. Reactionary
blackraisin
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« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2022, 03:13:37 PM »
The purpose of this act is to ensure that toilet paper in federal facilities be of a uniform quality such that general employees and members of the public are not left using cheapo sandpaper TP while the capitol and white house bathrooms stock luxurious plush TP. We should have radical equality in the public provision of TP, and that TP should by no means be 1-Ply garbage. Save our rears.
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Pedocon Theory is not a theory
CalamityBlue
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« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2022, 06:53:47 PM »
AMENDMENT

Quote
EQUITY ACT

Quote
1. No federal funds shall be expended for the purchase of one-ply or two-ply toilet paper.

2. No federal funds shall be expended for the purchase of toilet paper for the White House, Supreme Court, Atlasian Capitol building, appurtenant offices, and/or other federal buildings that is of different, varying, or inferior or superior quality to toilet paper provided in or on any other federal property.

3. It is the position of the Senate of Atlasia that no officer or employee of the Atlasian government shall receive better quality toilet paper in public toilets than is available to the general public in such toilets.

4. This act shall take effect within thirty (30) days of passage.

Why stop at one-ply?
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Mr. Reactionary
blackraisin
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« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2022, 07:45:46 PM »
Friendly
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fhtagn
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« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2022, 07:52:18 PM »
I'm just here for the TP I'm eventually going to steal because why pay a store for nice TP.
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Mr. Reactionary
blackraisin
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« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2022, 08:03:42 PM »
Quote from: fashtagn, Enemy of the Republic on April 19, 2022, 07:52:18 PM
I'm just here for the TP I'm eventually going to steal because why pay a store for nice TP.

Stealing government property is a federal crime. If you only want to poop in government toilets thats one thing, but Ill be damned if you steal the people's toilet paper without facing prosecution.

True story, we caught a guy stealing liquid soap packets from City Hall a few years ago to use at his bootleg carwash.
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fhtagn
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« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2022, 08:09:27 PM »
Quote from: Mr. Revolutionary on April 19, 2022, 08:03:42 PM
Quote from: fashtagn, Enemy of the Republic on April 19, 2022, 07:52:18 PM
I'm just here for the TP I'm eventually going to steal because why pay a store for nice TP.

Stealing government property is a federal crime. If you only want to poop in government toilets thats one thing, but Ill be damned if you steal the people's toilet paper without facing prosecution.

True story, we caught a guy stealing liquid soap packets from City Hall a few years ago to use at his bootleg carwash.

You'll have to catch me first.
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Mr. Reactionary
blackraisin
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« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2022, 08:16:52 PM »
Quote from: fashtagn, Enemy of the Republic on April 19, 2022, 08:09:27 PM
Quote from: Mr. Revolutionary on April 19, 2022, 08:03:42 PM
Quote from: fashtagn, Enemy of the Republic on April 19, 2022, 07:52:18 PM
I'm just here for the TP I'm eventually going to steal because why pay a store for nice TP.

Stealing government property is a federal crime. If you only want to poop in government toilets thats one thing, but Ill be damned if you steal the people's toilet paper without facing prosecution.

True story, we caught a guy stealing liquid soap packets from City Hall a few years ago to use at his bootleg carwash.

You'll have to catch me first.

I'll get inspector S019 to investigate you once hes done recounting the 45 votes cast in the last Southern election. I hear he had to take his shoes off so it may take a few days.
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West_Midlander
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« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2022, 05:17:38 AM »
I object to the amendment.
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Joseph Cao
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« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2022, 01:05:47 AM »
Not on board with this amendment, restricting federal TP supplies to three-ply and above makes section 3 effectively a lie.
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Joseph Cao
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« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2022, 01:14:23 AM »
There being an objection, a vote is now open on the following amendment.

Quote from: Amendment Offered
EQUITY ACT

Quote
1. No federal funds shall be expended for the purchase of one-ply or two-ply toilet paper.

2. No federal funds shall be expended for the purchase of toilet paper for the White House, Supreme Court, Atlasian Capitol building, appurtenant offices, and/or other federal buildings that is of different, varying, or inferior or superior quality to toilet paper provided in or on any other federal property.

3. It is the position of the Senate of Atlasia that no officer or employee of the Atlasian government shall receive better quality toilet paper in public toilets than is available to the general public in such toilets.

4. This act shall take effect within thirty (30) days of passage.

Senators have 96 hours to vote. Please vote Aye, Nay, or Abstain.
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beesley
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« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2022, 01:28:13 AM »
Aye, this is what Lincoln residents want
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Dr. MB
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« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2022, 01:30:00 AM »
Aye
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WD
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« Reply #14 on: May 02, 2022, 01:55:26 AM »
Aye
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OSR stands with Israel
Computer89
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« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2022, 02:00:06 AM »
Nay
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If my soul was made of stone
discovolante
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« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2022, 02:07:29 AM »
PRESENT
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Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee
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« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2022, 02:41:32 AM »
Abstain
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West_Midlander
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« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2022, 05:53:29 AM »
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Saint Milei
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« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2022, 03:56:13 PM »
nay
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S019
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« Reply #20 on: May 02, 2022, 04:57:35 PM »
AYE
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Joseph Cao
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« Reply #21 on: May 03, 2022, 12:00:30 AM »
Nay. This is impossible to enforce.
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Mr. Reactionary
blackraisin
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« Reply #22 on: May 03, 2022, 12:11:22 AM »
Nay
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GM Team Member and Senator WB
weatherboy1102
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« Reply #23 on: May 03, 2022, 12:50:25 AM »
abstain
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Continential
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« Reply #24 on: May 03, 2022, 11:45:14 AM »
Nay
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