Would you be surprised to learn that this man was a rapist?

[Simfan34]

Disc jockey? Why on earth was he knighted?

[Simfan34]

So if I give a lot of money to charity and a little to The Party might I get a knighthood? If a give a boatload to charity and a lot to The Party might I get a life peerage? And, if I give an astronomical sum to charity and a boatload to the party, maybe, just maybe, might I secure a hereditary peerage?

If I give every Briton enough money to be millionaires to the last, might they depose HM the Queen, marry me off to Princess Eugenie, and proclaim me King Edward IX? What if I promised to add on India in return?

[Simfan34]

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No. That's right out.

Well that is a shame. I've always thought I'd make an excellent Marquess of Quenby. Or a Viscount Darlington. Why there's already a great estate in town that would make for an excellent manor house:



Well the house is lovely. The estate is rather non existent at this point, consisting of only twelve-and-a-half acres. Yes, that's a large lot but pitifully small for a house this large, both in terms of the landscape and a general sense of property-after all, these are meant to allude the great manor houses that were surrounded by the kind of land one could make a living off of. Unfortunately, that great estate has been chopped up from its original thousand acres and subdivided for other houses. Including mine. I suppose that makes me a philistine.

[Simfan34]

ITT: Would-be aristocrat comes to terms with the honours system

There is the "marry peer's only daughter and find my own life peerage" route.