Do you want to have kids?

[afleitch]

Yes.

[afleitch]

What did I just read?

Here's a wonderful thing. If you are like me an early 30 something and a lot of your friends have kids and they've waited until personal and financial situations are kind enough to them to allow them to have kids, then they love the sh-t out of them. But they also share on Facebook 'why kids are like drunk adults' memes. And they show me pictures of their kid sleeping in awkward poses, or their kid's twisted face before a fart. They find these things hilarious, because for them they are true. Places are starting to become more 'parent with child' friendly and people pass their children from person to person like a puppy. And people have a great time, and say how they can't wait until their kid is at school, or how their neighbours' kids are so annoying and you all help each other deal with sleepy babies and make tunnels with your legs so they can run about underneath you.

I have no idea what all this psychobabble angst was over these last two pages.

[afleitch]

I've tried to say twice now that what I take issue with is the use of those everyday jokes and annoyances as part of this fashionable 'children are terrible and I'm justified in hating them' script.

He obviously doesn't hate children He's lucky enough to have crazy nephews (and I'm still waiting) but children are generally 'terrible' when you're around them, they are supposed to be unpredictable and chaotic. It's better to leave that 'chaos' than try to control it. Especially if it involves someone else's kids. And kids are supposed to find adults weird, dull and boring. But yet here we all are.

As I said I get shared these idiotic jokes mostly from parents. In fact they love their kids so much they overshare them. It's how they get by.

[afleitch]

Thinking about this thread a bit more today, I remembered my original post here:

A friend of mine shared this on FB a few days ago, and seems very relevant to post here:

http://www.therooster.com/blog/10-brutally-real-reasons-why-millennials-refuse-have-kids

... and that when my friend shared that article, she received about a dozen 'likes', and then sparked an interesting comment-discussion between her and several of her friends who all agreed that, in a nutshell, they were tired of society trying to shame them for not wanting children.  It certainly resonated with me, too.

[#analysis]
I guess I find it interesting that society has a way to ensure the survival and growth of the human race, by shaming those who don't want to participate in reproduction (* the only basic instinct that an individual can ignore and still survive).

"You don't want children?  What's wrong with you?"
"You often feel awkward and uncomfortable around children?  Are you sick?!  Children are amazing!!"

You could even look at one aspect of the gay marriage debate.  "Of course you can't get married; you can't even reproduce!"  Then once people realized that gay parents can and do exist quite easily, the wall of opposition suddenly had another hole smashed through it.
[/#analysis]


This thread in particular also made me understand that there is a gaping gulf between the culture of my RL social circle and this forum community.  (I now know how BRTD feels...!)  I don't know yet if that's necessarily a good thing or not, but it's certainly making me wonder if I should give AAD another try...

If it helps, there's a gulf between my RL circle of 'parents with kids' and this forum talking abstractly about parents and kids. It happens on discussions about sex, relationships and marriage too so it's nothing new.