What do I need to know about Australia?

[John Dibble]

All you need to know about Australia:

"Where's the poison? But it's so simple! All I have to do is divide from what I know of you - are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet knowing that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must've known I was not a great fool, you would've counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. I haven't made my decision yet, though. Because Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely people with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. And you must've suspected I would've known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. You've beaten my giant, which means your exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must've studied, and in studying you must've learned that man is mortal, so you would've put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. Ha, it's worked; you've given everything away. I know where the poison is. And I choose- (points behind the Pirate) what in the world can that be?! (switches goblets) Oh, I could've sworn I saw something. Well, no matter. Let's drink - me from my glass, and you from yours. (drinks, then laughs) You think I guessed wrong, that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha, you fool! You've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia", but only slightly less well known is this - "Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h-!"

*(falls over dead)*