Five Dollar Footlong, all month long

[Adam Griffin]

Subway has always made me mad, to the point now that I've stopped going. Let's say you go in there and you just want a de-facto sandwich that is supposedly on the menu. Ain't gonna happen.

"So yeah, let me get the sweet onion chicken teriyaki on such and such bread."

"So what do you want on it?"

"Uh, as advertised."

"So what do you want on it?"

"I want the sandwich you're selling on the menu."

"I'm sorry, we don't know what's in that sandwich."

I don't know if it's that so many people like to be creative in how they order or if all Subway employees are just stupid, but this has been the conversation I've had in at least 4 Subways in my area (I should check out the other 10). It got to the point where it was infuriatingly funny, where I'd go in and try to start up this exact conversation because I knew they were going to be idiots and that Subway apparently doesn't teach its employees how to make anything other than a basic sandwich. If I'm in a hurry, I don't want to pick out every single element of my sandwich - If I have to build it, might as well stay at home and save the money. What are all those pictures and prices for, anyway?