Concert of Europe: Gameplay Thread (user search)
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  Concert of Europe: Gameplay Thread (search mode)
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Author Topic: Concert of Europe: Gameplay Thread  (Read 36170 times)
MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #50 on: September 03, 2017, 06:03:45 PM »
« edited: September 03, 2017, 06:05:42 PM by Unacceptable »

Deposed Duke of Lorraine obviously forgets about subsequent emancipation of Catholics in the Great Britain. After hysterical performance he delivered before the Hungarian Diet it is safe to suspect he suffered from some sort of a nervous breakdown and memory loss. The Deposed Duke of Lorraine is clearly lost without his late great wife, her wisdom and guidance that steered him until recently.

The Sublime Porte is always open for reasonable and respectful negotiations with the Hungarian Diet and what remained of the Austrian government. The Sultan is convinced Hungarian and Austrian statesmen won't let a lunatic spil more of their blood for no reason.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
Atlas Institution
*****
Posts: 57,380


« Reply #51 on: September 04, 2017, 05:55:15 AM »
« Edited: September 04, 2017, 05:57:07 AM by Unacceptable »

Sad Pleasures of King Louis

Published anonymously in Amsterdam with realistic illustrations.


King Louis uneasily opened his left eye as he struggled to gather strength to get up from his bed after what was a largely sleepless night, spent mostly on crying into his pillow over his continuing inability to be intimate with a woman. He was determined to keep his shame a secret by distracting people's minds with war, but there was more and more amused talk across Europe. Alas!, the King thought. I shall burn the entire Europe to prove them I'm still a man.

Nowdays the only way for Louis to get any excitement similar to what he once enjoyed with his mistresses was receiving news about the blood spilt on the battlefields. He liked to imagine himself wondering around a blood-soaked battlefield, feeling increasing arousal. Alas, if only I weren't such a pathetic coward, I'd personally go to the battlefield to get my piece of pleasure. But I'm just a coward.

Louis was anxiously awaiting more updates, hoping for at least 50,000 more deaths on both sides, knowing he otherwise won't be able to stop sobbing, like a big child he always was.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
Atlas Institution
*****
Posts: 57,380


« Reply #52 on: September 04, 2017, 02:42:56 PM »

As for Italy, I would advise His Serenity to look around: many of his Italian compatriots have been active participants in the fight since this atrocious war began. I myself am Grand Duke of Tuscany; does the war not touch Italy through me?

So, the deposed Duke of Lorraine openly admitted he wants to see the whole of Italy plunged into this conflict for no other reason than personal spite. He should be thanked for betraying his true intent to the world.

At this point the Holy Roman Imperial throne is effectively vacant. The only reason the deposed Duke of Lorraine was styled "Emperor" was his marriage to the great Maria Theresa. The ancient and noble crown served as a mere consolation prize to a ruler of a small duchy, after he was removed by the King Louis, the very same monarch he now begs for help like a beggar begging his former robber.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #53 on: September 04, 2017, 04:43:44 PM »

In the case of unfortunate, the Ottoman Empire won't be the part that violated Venice neutrality. The days of waring between the Most Serene and the Sublime Porte belongs to history books.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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*****
Posts: 57,380


« Reply #54 on: September 05, 2017, 04:40:33 AM »

A ceasefire while Imperial territory, especially the Imperial seat of Vienna, continue to suffer from oppressive occupation is an unconscionable proposition. We decline.

Holding serious peace talks without a ceasefire is simply illogical and shows deposed Duke of Lorraine's unwillingness to give peace a chance and put end to the sufferings he himself just mentioned.

The Sublime Porte was willing to accept the Venetian proposal, even though part of our own territory is being occupied by the Austrian forces. Let the history record which side really wrecked the proposal for peace.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
Atlas Institution
*****
Posts: 57,380


« Reply #55 on: September 05, 2017, 05:32:08 AM »

Well, with Austria not attending the noble proposal of Venice is, most unfortunately, rendered pointless. Unless France, in the light of their ally's stubbornness, is willing to consider a separate peace with ceasefire first.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #56 on: September 06, 2017, 09:45:34 AM »

And the exclusion of Denmark was less a slight than a wise understanding by Venice that true resolution of the conflict requires an agreement of above named countries, not all belligerents. Sweden, Saxony, Bavaria, Ireland, and several other states are also belligerents but were not invited. Including more and more countries only makes the conference more likely to fail.

First Austria seeks to plunge more countries into the conflict, as evident with the deposed Duke of Lorraine's statement regarding Italy, but then proclaims everything should be handled by four or five major powers, imposing their unconditional terms upon other countries, with no regard whatsoever to the sacrifice made by these states. Then again, Francis of Lorraine already proved he has no regard for anybody and anything other than his grossly inflated ego.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
Atlas Institution
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #57 on: September 07, 2017, 08:41:27 AM »

His Sacred and Imperial Majesty was alarmed with the disturbing news coming from Egypt, as foreign agents, whose masters were unable to win the war on the battlefields, used an understandable aggravation felt by His loyal subjects over food shortages to cause dissent within.

As evident from His Sacred and Imperial Majesty's previous statements, the well-being and prosperity of His Egyptian subjects is very much at his heart and serious steps were already underway to ensure the fellahs of Egypt would be enjoying greater fruits from their ancestral land. Given the circumstances, no reprisal shall come at the population at large, with thorough investigation to apprehend foreign agents and traitors to come.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #58 on: September 07, 2017, 09:54:57 AM »

His Sacred and Imperial Majesty is proud of the advance made in Ukraine. At the same time we want to caution everybody the Sublime Porte, nor the Khanate, is looking forward to make major territorial gains on the expense of the Russian Empire, for we're not at war with Russia, rather with forces loyal to usurper Catherine, those who betrayed their rightful sovereign and joined a doomed adventure inspired by certain foreign courts.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #59 on: September 07, 2017, 11:20:23 AM »

Francis of Lorraine could have salvaged his largely empty title of an Emperor until last moments. If anything, King Frederick had been patient and merciful, but now he simply formalized the fact accompli.

In Istanbul we would've just strangled the stubborn dude, but Prussians are indeed too humanitarian.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #60 on: September 08, 2017, 02:28:33 PM »

If the deposed Duke of Lorraine truly cared about preserving the institution known as the Holy Roman Empire, he would have accepted generous peace terms, allowing him to continue as the "Emperor". Instead he choose to keep plunging more people and countries into the war to satisfy that inflated ego of his and see more blood spilled before his inevitable downfall.

If Francis truly cares about the German people, he should stop this war right now, accept the reality and remove himself to Tuscany, where he can do less damage. 

The Sublime Porte is pleased to recognize the German League as a successor of the Holy Roman Empire in terms of representing German people.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #61 on: September 09, 2017, 04:58:06 AM »

His Sacred and Imperial Majesty was greatly distressed upon receiving the news of his vassals' ships targeting neutral vessels of Venice. The matter is being looked into.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #62 on: September 09, 2017, 01:04:31 PM »

His Majesty King Frederick II of Prussia is pleased to announce that after some negotiations undertaken with the Kingdom of Sweden a separate peace between Sweden and the Anglo-Prussian-Ottoman-Danish Alliance is to be concluded, putting an end to one of the most noteworthy theaters of the current war and hopefully signaling a new age of peace and cooperating between our alliance and Sweden:

Treaty of Christiana
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x His Majesty King Frederick II, King of Prussia

x Adolf Fredrick, King of Sweden

Still not sure I ever was formally at war with Adolf Fredrick, but since my coutry is mentioned here...

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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #63 on: September 09, 2017, 01:19:52 PM »

His Majesty King Frederick II of Prussia is pleased to announce that after some negotiations undertaken with the Kingdom of Sweden a separate peace between Sweden and the Anglo-Prussian-Ottoman-Danish Alliance is to be concluded, putting an end to one of the most noteworthy theaters of the current war and hopefully signaling a new age of peace and cooperating between our alliance and Sweden:

Treaty of Christiana
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x His Majesty King Frederick II, King of Prussia

x Adolf Fredrick, King of Sweden

Still not sure I ever was formally at war with Adolf Fredrick, but since my coutry is mentioned here...



Better safe than sorry. Rest assured Stockholm harbors no ill will to either you Sultan, or your people.

One things is clear, there was no blood spilled.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #64 on: September 10, 2017, 10:57:34 AM »

His Sacred and Imperial Majesty stands with his decision no repercussion shall come upon the people of Egypt at large, as their distress had been sinisterly exploited by foreign agents. However, to prevent new disturbances, garrisoned troops are to be reinforced and stay on alert.

His Sacred and Imperial Majesty is very angry at the officials, who didn't keep him properly informed of the situation and who, despite his orders to undertake works to improve longstanding economic situation of the fellahs of Egypt, let this get out of hand.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #65 on: September 10, 2017, 04:05:33 PM »

His Sacred and Imperial Majesty is extremely troubled with the declaration issues by a self-proclaimed "Imperial Diet" which was basically passing a death sentence in absentia imposed upon Kings of Prussia and Great Britain, monarchs anointed by God. The fact it was an empty gesture doesn't change the horrifying significance of this mad statement.

All sovereigns of Europe, regardless of political disputes, ought to condemn this monstrosity, otherwise there's nothing stopping one king from condemning another king to death like some common scoundrel. This is nothing short of sacrilege.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
Atlas Institution
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #66 on: September 11, 2017, 03:22:31 PM »

It is official position of the Sublime Porte that the deposed Duke of Lorraine should be considered as legally insane and, if captured, placed in isolation for his own good and those around him.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #67 on: September 12, 2017, 11:47:15 AM »


x Frederick II, King of Prussia and Corsica.

x Sultan Mustafa III Han, Sovereign of The Sublime House of Osman, Sultan of Sultans, Khan of the Khans, Commander of the faithful and Successor of the Prophet of the lord of the Universe, Custodian of the Holy Cities of Mecca, Medina and Kouds, Caesar of Rome,  Padishah of The Three Cities of Istanbul, Edirne and Bursa

etc. etc.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #68 on: September 12, 2017, 01:22:18 PM »

- All nobles who declared for Sweden will be imprisoned and numbered. Should their numbers be few, the adult members of the House will be stripped of nobility, and the House's children will be sent to the royal court, as well as those males under the age of thirty, but no others. There, they will be trained to be nobles, and those who excel the highest will have their royal house restored to them. The children under the age of twelve will be restored to their mothers, and, once of age, they, too, may join the contention for the titles. These tests will last for six years, and those under the age of eight will not be eligible for the titles. All must pass two years, and then the best and brightest will be selected to be nobles. The others of the household will be judged and all found guilty of treason will be sentenced to life in prison. Should any ever escape or be found plotting to help enemies of Denmark, two of their House will be executed for every one who escapes. If a House has no men between eighteen and thirty, the number may be extended to sixteen, and if still no arise, to twelve and to forty, and these will be kept separate from the other children. Those in the court will be exempted from death unless more nobles escape than remain behind to be killed.

- The ships are to be numbered and counted, and then a decision will be cast once the specifics are known.

Just go full Tavora on 'em, you moderate hero wimp.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #69 on: September 13, 2017, 12:33:18 PM »

His Sacred and Imperial Majesty's Ambassador to the Royal Court in Warsaw is recalled for consultations.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #70 on: September 13, 2017, 03:18:41 PM »

1) We have contacted the Ottoman Empire. We will not launch a direct assault, but further agitation by the Corsairs will result in their raiding parties being met by the full force of the Venetian navy.

Distressed with these developments, the Ottoman Empire is intending to work toward resolving the situation in order to avoid an escalation. Naturally, Venetian ships on their territorial, as well as international waters, have every right to defend themselves.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #71 on: September 14, 2017, 04:08:26 PM »

Festivities are ordered to celebrate our decisive victories in the Russian campaign, especially the reconquest of Azov. The stain of Tsar Peter's banditry is now washed away.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #72 on: September 14, 2017, 04:45:06 PM »

The Sublime Porte recognized the Kingdom of Hungary as fully independent realm, soon-to-be free from the Habsburg yoke. His Sacred and Imperial Majesty is looking forward to rectify historical mistakes and establish friendly and respectful relations with Budapest in the near future.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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Posts: 57,380


« Reply #73 on: September 14, 2017, 05:39:47 PM »
« Edited: September 14, 2017, 05:43:40 PM by Mustafa III »

It's clear the deposed Duke of Lorraine's only use of the Hungarian people is to use them as a cannon meat in his insane war, which he is destined to lose. The Ottoman forces will not fire a single shot at Hungarian troops unless deliberately attacked first. Obviously Hungarians have better future to purse than to die and bleed for the losing cause of Austria, which had long abused Hungary's rightful statehood.

The deposed Duke of Lorraine had already plunged Austria, Bohemia, Tuscany and other realms into the abyss with his dastardly stubbornness. His bloodthirst is perplexing. He stands virtually alone, aside of few bought minor German princes. France and Russia already decided wisely not to waste their human potential on propping up the crumbling regime.

Francis' cause is lost and no more people and lands should suffer in his name.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
Atlas Institution
*****
Posts: 57,380


« Reply #74 on: September 15, 2017, 02:00:55 PM »
« Edited: September 15, 2017, 02:06:16 PM by Mustafa III »

Proclamation

His Sacred and Imperial Majesty the Sultan believes the another golden age of the Ottoman State is just around the corner. The stain of humiliating defeat dealt to us by Tsar Peter is washed away with the reconquest of Azov. Russia no longer poses a threat to the Ottoman interests and territory and with Ivan IV soon-to-be-secured in the throne, a period of fruitful relationship will undoubtedly commence.

Meanwhile, once mighty Habsburg Empire, which had long distracted us from improving our domestic conditions, is about to collapse and it shall take just one more firm push to finish that monstrosity once and for all. Then, nothing will prevent us from embarking into a peacetime series of reforms in order to achieve modernity and prosperity, with the tax reform being prominently on the agenda.


(On a side note, it is said the Sultan praised King Louis' wisdom of concluding the peace agreement and wished France stability and prosperity).
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