POOP AND PENISES ACT
SECTION I. NAME.
This Act shall be called the Poop and Penises Act
SECTION II. FEDERAL FACILITIES MUST COMPLY WITH SOME REGIONAL RULES
a. 42 U.S.C. 9620(a) is hereby amended to require that each department, agency, and instrumentality of Atlasia shall be subject to, and comply with, at facilities that are or have been owned or operated by any such department, agency, or instrumentality, Regional or State substantive and procedural requirements regarding response relating to hazardous substances or pollutants or contaminants, including State hazardous waste requirements, in the same manner and to the same extent as any nongovernmental entity.
B, Atlasia hereby expressly waives any immunity otherwise applicable to Atlasia with respect to any Regional or State substantive or procedural requirement referred to in this act, including immunity from injunctive relief, civil penalties, criminal sanctions.
SECTION III. POOP
a. 42 U.S.C. 9601 is amended by adding the following new section at the end
thereof:
SECTION 312. EXCEPTION FOR MANURE
a. Upon the date of enactment of this section, manure shall not be included in the meaning of `hazardous substance' under section 101(14) of this Act or `pollutant or contaminant' under section 101(33) of this Act.
b. The enactment of this section shall not be construed to impose any liability or paperwork requirements under provisions of the Emergency Planning and Community Right-to-Know Act of 1986 for manure.
c. Nothing in this section shall affect the applicability of any other environmental
statute as it relates to the definition of manure, or the responsibilities or liabilities of any person regarding, the treatment, storage, or disposal of manure.
d. 100 Stat. 1655 is amended by adding the following at the end thereof:
The notification requirements under this subsection shall not apply to releases associated with manure (as defined in section 312 of the Comprehensive Environmental Response Compensation and Liability Act.
e. Definition - For the purposes of this section, the term `manure' mean:
1. digestive emissions, feces, urine, urea and other excrement from livestock (as defined by 7 C.F.R. 205.2);
2. any associated bedding, compost, raw materials or other materials commingled with such excrement from livestock (as defined by 7 C.F.R. 205.2);
3. any process water associated with the items referred to in paragraph (1) or (2); and
4. any byproducts, constituents, or substances contained in, originating from, or emissions relating to the items described in paragraph (1), (2), or (3).''.
SECTION IV: HORSE PENISES
a. The regulation making it a federal crime to import a foreign stallion from a region affected by Contagious Equine Metritis if you don't wash its fully-erect penis on five consecutive days and apply ointment to it after it's tested negative for the disease is hereby eliminated. 9 CFR §93.301(e)(3)(i)(A) shall be amended accordingly.
b. The regulation making it a federal crime to temporarily import a foreign horse for entertainment purposes and let its genitals get examined for a non-medical reason is hereby eliminated. 9 CFR §93.301(f)(5)(vii) shall be amended accordingly.
c. The regulation prohibiting foreign show horses that are temporarily in Atlasia for competitions from having sex is hereby eliminated. 9 CFR 93.301(f)(5)(vii) shall be amended accordingly.
SECTION V: TIME
a. Unless otherwise specified herein, this act shall take effect 120 days from the date of passage.
