Comedy Goldmine XI: The Atlas Forum Demilitarized Zone

[The Mikado]

Wait, Phil is a menstruating vagina with testes?
[/quote]

[The Mikado]

Is this a contest to show the rest of us who the biggest asshat is?  I'm not sure who to put my money on.

^^^

dead0man wins the "Iowa <3s gay marriage" thread.

[The Mikado]

I REFUSE TO GIVE UP ON THIS THREAD!

Wait, Sensei, what the heck are you holding in that picture?  A spatula?

I think that's his chin he's holding.

[The Mikado]

Xahar will do it for you.

Click for context.  I almost laughed...sort of snorted.

[The Mikado]

Einzige's first post:

I am a twenty-year-old Democrat

So very unlikely he has an accredited degree higher than a Master's, or any degree at all in fact besides a two-year one.

He got Constine'd!

BTW, the post quoted in the quoted post is BRTD's Crowning Moment of Awesome on this forum.

[The Mikado]

Lunar, they were both new but very knowledgeable when they first started.

That's not even the actual quote....

[The Mikado]

I HATE MIKADO WTF IS THAT NAME JAPANESE HE'S WEIRD I'M SLEEPY

LUNER MOAR LIK LOONAR LOL IS HE A WERWULF OR SUMTHIN

[The Mikado]

You know who is really skinny (therefore making people feel fat)? Pat Toomey

What's his deal? Why is he trying to get fats out of the GOP? So much for the Club for Growth, eh Pat?

Phil wins that thread, though Ben's map comes close.

[The Mikado]

Actually, though, a kid in my grade had sex with a horse and a dog...

This may very well be what's the matter with Kansas.

That response deserves Goldmine status on its own.

[The Mikado]

That southerners were completely intolerant to non-Protestants and non-whites prior to the civil war.

On this subject.  The greatest baseball game ever played.  link

[The Mikado]

Republican

[1] Reaganfan

[The Mikado]

There needs to be a temporary lockdown of the Off-Topic thread.  Maybe a few days.  Let all of this pass out of everyone's system.

[The Mikado]

You mikado, Hashemite and some others are glorified trolls. 

[The Mikado]

Have a fun and safe trip!

Yes, use protection.

My form of protection will be a big roll of duct tape and a pole or a tree.  It works wonders!!

Hey, whatever floats your boat. Just don't pull a David Carradine!

  Good ol' States. 

Though I have to say that I usually find BushOK baiting rather bad form.

[The Mikado]

BushOklahoma by far!

I demand you delete this topic because you did not consult me first. And why is it me vs. BushOklahoma? I've never heard of him.

[The Mikado]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Say what?

I have to admit, BeccaM is quickly becoming one of my fave posters here.  And I thought she was a troll at first. 

[The Mikado]

No thanks. My ex-girlfriend was a Jew. I've hated them ever since.

Credit where credit's due.  That's Rowan's best post by far. 

[The Mikado]

Damn Stark, you recovered from the museum shooting quickly.

I agree with JSoj.  This is a contender for post of the year.

[The Mikado]

I don't like watching or playing soccer.  But I sure admire the people who do play it.  You have to be incredibly fit.  Isn't it one of the more heart-healthy sports, too?

My nieces were all high school soccer stars and I was proud as can be of them.  But I do admit to a certain boredom watching.  Until their teammates go to the 16-18 age range.  Suddenly, I was riveted again...  (Please ignore my uncle.  He is a filthy old man.)

I can't decide who'd be more fun as an uncle: Torie or JSojourner.

[The Mikado]

Uh. My parents got engaged after ten days, and they've been together now for thirty years.

My parents got married after five days, and they've been together now for fifteen years.

Do I win?

Arranged?

[The Mikado]

What The Reader really needed was a streetwise CGI talking dog.

This post has the distinction of being the first ever post on this forum that made me laugh so hard that I choked.

[The Mikado]

First of all, shame on you guys for letting the Goldmine fall to page 2.

It's so hot. Nowhere for me to go fishing.

No more river dolphins to catch either.

[The Mikado]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=100409.0

He could have saved himself half an hour of typing and just written: "Please put me on mod review."

[The Mikado]

I used to want t do be President until I realized it was impossible and I have the worst possible last name for it.

Your last name is Hitlerf****t?

Worse.  Vilsack.

[The Mikado]

It's just like asking who's better poised to win Idaho: Obama or Hillary

Obviously Hillary

No.

Yes.

It's just like asking who's better poised to win Idaho: Obama or Hillary

Obviously Hillary

The Idaho Democratic Caucus was overwhelmingly won by Barack Obama, who won 15 of Idaho's 18 delegates, 44 of the 45 county-level caucuses, and the support of 79.54 percent of caucus attendees statewide, his largest margin of victory in any state during the 2008 Democratic Presidential Primary season.

OOOOOH WOW. WHO CARES. Republicans far prefer Hillary to Obama, no matter who Democrats prefer, Obama could never win Idaho. Hillary could get maybe 1-2% more Republican supporters. Not much but better than Obama.

I don't know Hamilton that well.  Is he old enough to remember the 90s?  That post leads me to strongly doubt it.