Name Tradition in Marriage

[nclib]

A discussion in this thread inspired my poll.

Dazzleman cited the fact the 90% of women take their husbands' name when they get married and that number has increased in the past decade.

Do you see this as a positive tradition or a negative tradition? Should it be encouraged or discouraged?

My view on this is that this tradition stands in the way of women's equality. It suggests that men are the head of the household. It also, in some cases, forces women to reestablish their careers.

[nclib]

But your name came from your father presumably, itself an indication of inequality.  Ditto for your presumtive wife.  Therefore, you hyphenated name is already a symbol of male dominance over females, by your thinking.

It's not ideal but it's a step in the right direction.

And in order to eradicate this male dominance, the length of everybody's last name will double each generation.  Yet you offer no solution to this problem.  Maybe you need to rethink your theory.

There are other ways to solve this problem without hypenating everybody's name. Each couple could choose whether to name the kids the mother's name or the father's name using criteria such as:

- combining or contracting names
- using the more ethnic name
- using the name of the parent who has fewer relatives with that name
- with two children naming one the mother's and one the father's

[nclib]

Marriage is about equality, simply put. You can tell how equal a marriage is a lot by the last names of the married.

That makes not the slightest amount of sense.  There is no relationship between power in a marriage and the names used. 

I have seen women who kept their own name, supported their non-working husbands, and were still abused by them.  On the other hand, I have seen housewives who took their husbands name and had almost total control over the household.

There is truly no relationship.  You've been reading far too much feminist propaganda if you believe that there is.

Of course, there are exceptions, but it is ridiculous to say there is no relationship. Studies have even shown that working women tend to have (on average) more control over household decisions than housewives.

feminists almost never have good marriages.

This is clearly the fault of anti-feminist men. Feminists treat their spouses with equality.

[nclib]

The only law I would like changed is that, you should have to legally change your name when you get married, if you choose to, instead of de facto being the husband's name.

I don't know of any law that says that you have to change your name to your husband's name when you get married.

I think the woman has to do something to indicate she is keeping her name while the man has to do nothing.

[nclib]

This is clearly the fault of anti-feminist men. Feminists treat their spouses with equality.

Dude, if you believe that, I want some of what you are smoking.

Feminists are like communists who adhere to the Brezhnev Doctrine -- what's mine is mine, and what's yours is negotiable.  If you think feminists are committed to equality, you really need a reality check.

Why do you hate your own gender so much?

I am simply pointing out the inequalities in marriage. I do not hate men as a gender--only the ones that oppress women.

[nclib]

It's actually a far more difficult process to change your name.  If a woman keeps her name, she just indicates it on the marriage certificate, and there's nothing more to be done.

Changing her name requires notifying social security, going to the DMV for a new license, etc.

In the grand scheme of things, this is nothing of course.  The whole issue is just a red herring.  People who bring up these issues are simply looking to create problems.  It is always possible to find a problem if you look hard enough.

Of course, it is much more difficult for the woman to change her name than for the man to keep his name.

I agree that this isn't the biggest of issues. However, given that women do most of the compromising in a marriage (studies have shown that even in couples that consider themselves to be egalitarian, men get their way more than half the time), it is ironic that marriage starts out with the woman compromising.