Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Lief 🗽]

You're a Republican again?!

[Lief 🗽]

Guys, Bushie is not a person who would abuse animals he told me on facebook that he is feeding him 2-3 times a day plus changing his water every 2-3 hours during the waking hours, and told me the dog acts very happy.

Bushie is also someone who thinks increasing the amount of sloppy joes you eat from three to four counts as a diet. He sometimes has issues with judgment.

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Does anyone know what this soon-to-be-dead puppy looks like? I keep hearing people say he's cute, but I haven't seen any pics of little J.J.

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Jeez, your dad even has to walk the dog? Learning the plight of Bushie's poor father this season has been very depressing.

[Lief 🗽]

Jeez, your dad even has to walk the dog? Learning the plight of Bushie's poor father this season has been very depressing.

Indeed.  Bushie should have walked him that much.  Both need the excercise.  The plan of exercise when Bushie gets back will be his Dad walking him every night.

I feel bad for Bushie's dad......the guy doesn't get a minute's peace.

Yeah, he breaks his back from morning until night, has to go shopping for dog houses during his lunch break, has to support a retired wife and a stay-at-home son, gave up his bedroom so his son could sleep in it, doesn't sleep in the same bed as his wife (probably hasn't had sex in years and years, and his puritanical religion probably prevents him from brief relaxing himself), and even has to walk the dog for half an hour when he gets home! Meanwhile his son gets to go on fun vacations to Kenya for half a month while lounging around the house all the day.

[Lief 🗽]

So you don't disagree with my post. Interesting.

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This forum, no matter how bad it seems, cannot hurt me. 

Too bad the same isn't true of you and the dog.

[Lief 🗽]

Good lord, Bushie has already mapped out all the ways he's going to be able to stuff his face full of hamburgers in the next few weeks.

[Lief 🗽]

Bushie, exactly what will you be doing while you're there.....in the way of tasks, etc..?

Blackmailing starving orphan children: "We'll give you food and clothes and shelter, but first you have to promise us you love this Jesus fellow."

[Lief 🗽]

Yes, "loving on kids" (his words, not mine) is one of Bushie's favorite activities.

On an unrelated note, he has long resisted this forum's advice to shave off his pedophile mustache.

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Last year, I bought one bottle of coke every night for 50 schillings, but that was after downing at least 8-9 glasses of water, so the hazards of the coke wasn't that much.

What... no... that's not how nutrition works.

[Lief 🗽]

To be fair though, Bushie believing that the secret to weight loss is drinking above average amounts of water has been one of the enduring tropes of the Update saga.

[Lief 🗽]

Is there any chance that James Gandolfini's death at age 51 will serve as a wake up call, Bushie? You're probably in worse shape than he was. At least he was fairly tall.

Glad I'm not the only person who thought about Bushie after hearing the sad news.

[Lief 🗽]

Guys what do you think Bushie is doing right now? Shouldn't he have gotten to Brussels by now? Why no update from The Good Continent before he boarded the plane for his Kurtzian journey? Do you think something happened to him?

[Lief 🗽]

I'm sure he's fine.

If not he's boiling in a pot.

Surely either one or the other.

Though if I were to cook Bushie, boiling would be the last method I'd pick. You'd want a method to burn off some of the fat. Maybe grilling on a spit over an open fire?

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It's been 24 hours. It's safe to assume that Bushie is dead.

RIP.

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It's pretty obvious that Bushie is getting "swindled and pimped", in the words of an Update super-fan's signature. $30 a month and the kids are still running around barefoot??

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Guys it's becoming pretty obvious that this whole orphanage deal is just a scam to get money from religious, naive, and aimless white people. They let Bushie come visit every two years or so, let him fulfill his daddy fantasies for a few weeks (while having him do unpaid labor), and then suck him dry with $70 a month until his next visit, all the while promising that he'll be able to move there full time "when the orphanage is ready", which will obviously be never. Meanwhile, I'm sure most of the money goes to the people in charge, who live in luxury while his "children" don't have shoes.

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The lack of JJ updates leads me to believe the poor puppy "has been sent to live on the farm upstate."

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Is that 6000 euro yearly income? Or a lump sum you pay the government? Or what?

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Of all of Bushie's delusional fantasies, the African children thing really is the most outrageous. I can't even mentally process it. He has one upped Faulkner. Good show.

I have to agree. The best part is that he doesn't even meet the laughably low standard for fatherhood that he sets.

Meh, he's obviously profoundly lonely and for a number of reasons wants to have his own family. It's not completely incomprehensible. Plus, basically everyone in his life is enabling this fantasy (his grandmother, the people at church, obviously the people at the orphanage so they can squeeze him for more money).

[Lief 🗽]

Of all of Bushie's delusional fantasies, the African children thing really is the most outrageous. I can't even mentally process it. He has one upped Faulkner. Good show.

I have to agree. The best part is that he doesn't even meet the laughably low standard for fatherhood that he sets.

Meh, he's obviously profoundly lonely and for a number of reasons wants to have his own family. It's not completely incomprehensible. Plus, basically everyone in his life is enabling this fantasy (his grandmother, the people at church, obviously the people at the orphanage so they can squeeze him for more money).

That might be comprehensible, but to call yourself a father on the grounds that you give someone $35 a month is pretty laughable. It goes beyond absurd if it's not even you giving them the money.

It's absurd, but it's basically the only thing he has in life.

[Lief 🗽]

The best course of action if he wanted to do something for impoverished Kenyan children:

1. Get the CAD
2. Get some work experience in the US (1 year minimum)
3. Move to Kenya and secure a job (shouldn't be impossible in a booming economy)
4. Marry a Kenyan single mother - plenty of widows/abandoned women with kids around.

Of course he may not like being a mealticket in such a direct way, but Kenya has plenty of devout Christian widows with children, so he should be able to meet a person where they a least had religion in common. http://mingle2.com/online-dating/zacatecas/nairobi-kenya/christian-dating

Just me fantasizing about a happy ending...

But yeah, Jeff's communication with God seems to be a problem. He uses those prayer sessions with the big man above to get an excuse for doing the easy thing. If you are a believer prayer is a powerful tool whether its used right or wrong. I think his church is letting him down not talking to him about this, but then again maybe someone does and he just ignores it.

This is the only post I'm responding to.  Those are exactly my plans.  Get the CAD certificate, secure an American job for 12-18 months in Oklahoma City, then secure a job in either Nairobi or Kisumu initially.  I would like to marry a Kenyan wife to make the adoption even possible to begin with.  I know the law and far be it from me to try to circumvent the laws.  As far as the fatherhood, I am going to visit their home Saturday. I asked about calling me their daddy and the Maisha Administrator here in Kenya, Paul, said it is important that they see you as father, because you are their only way to receive an education.  Without me, they would likely not see their 15th birthday.  That is straight from Paul's mouth who sets up and organizes sponsorships.  The grandmother is not in good shape and may not last much longer so the kids only source of support would be me.  They would stay with relatives or friends when she passes.

Ah, so the only one you'll trust is the guy who would be out a job if you didn't send him $70 a month. Makes sense. Very logical.

[Lief 🗽]

Bushie, do your "children" know about the Atlas forum?

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X Lief