POOP AND PENISES ACT
SECTION I. NAME.
This Act shall be called the Poop and Penises Act
SECTION II. FEDERAL FACILITIES MUST COMPLY WITH SOME REGIONAL RULES
a. 42 U.S.C. 9620(a)(3) is hereby stricken in its entirety.
B, Atlasia hereby expressly waives any immunity otherwise applicable to Atlasia with respect to any Regional or State substantive or procedural requirement referred to in this act, including immunity from injunctive relief, civil penalties, criminal sanctions.
SECTION III. POOP
a. 42 U.S.C. 9601 is amended by adding the following new section at the end
thereof:
SECTION 212,984. EXCEPTION FOR MANURE "MANURE"
a. Upon the date of enactment of this section, manure all media produced with the involvement of Alice O'Connor (a.k.a. Alisa Zinovyevna Rosenbaum, Ayn Rand), henceforth referred to as "manure", shall not be included in the meaning of `hazardous substance' under section 101(14) of this Act or `pollutant or contaminant' under section 101(33) of this Act.
b. The enactment of this section shall be construed to impose any great deal of liability or paperwork requirements under provisions of the Emergency Planning and Community Right-to-Know Act of 1986 for manure "manure".
c. Nothing in this section shall affect the applicability of any other environmental statute as it relates to the definition of manure "manure", or the responsibilities or liabilities of any person regarding, the treatment, storage, or disposal of manure "manure".
d. 100 Stat. 1655 is amended by adding the following at the end thereof:
The notification requirements under this subsection shall not apply to releases associated with manure "manure" (as defined in section 312 of the Comprehensive Environmental Response Compensation and Liability Act.
e. Definition - For the purposes of this section, the term manure "manure" mean:
1. digestive emissions, feces, urine, urea and other excrement from livestock (as defined by 7 C.F.R. 205.2);
2. any associated bedding, compost, raw materials or other materials commingled with such excrement from livestock (as defined by 7 C.F.R. 205.2);
3. any process water associated with the items referred to in paragraph (1) or (2); and
4. any textual, visual, auditory, or other media produced by, in collaboration with, with the involvement of, or utilizing any extraneous material associated with, Alice O'Connor (a.k.a. Alisa Zinovyevna Rosenbaum, Ayn Rand); and
5. any byproducts, constituents, or substances contained in, originating from, or emissions relating to the items described in paragraph (1), (2), or (3) (1), (2), (3), or (4).''.
SECTION IV: HORSE PENISES
a. The regulation making it a federal crime to import a foreign stallion from a region affected by Contagious Equine Metritis if you don't wash its fully-erect penis on five consecutive days and apply ointment to it after it's tested negative for the disease is hereby eliminated. 9 CFR §93.301(e)(3)(i)(A) shall be amended accordingly.
b. The regulation making it a federal crime to temporarily import a foreign horse for entertainment purposes and let its genitals get examined for a non-medical reason is hereby eliminated. 9 CFR §93.301(f)(5)(vii) shall be amended accordingly.
c. The regulation prohibiting foreign show horses that are temporarily in Atlasia for competitions from having sex is hereby eliminated. 9 CFR 93.301(f)(5)(vii) shall be amended accordingly.b. 9 CFR 93.301(f)(5)(vii) shall be amended as follows:
(vii) The horse may not be used for breeding purposes (including artificial insemination or semen collection), except in the case of and may not have any other sexual contact with other horses members of the Federalist Party of Atlasia. The horse may not undergo any genital examinations, except that a horse imported in accordance with paragraph (f)(2) of this section may undergo genital examinations for diagnosis or treatment of a medical condition with the prior approval of an APHIS representative. those performed by members of the Federalist Party of Atlasia.
SECTION V: TIME
a. Unless otherwise specified herein, this act shall take effect
12 1.20 days from the date of passage.
