Should the US have language laws similar to Quebec?

[Ban my account ffs!]

HA!  I can see it now:

One of our Mexican restaurants is called T. Juan's.  Do we have to have a sign bigger than that that says "T. John's"? 

And should "La Pasta" become "The Pasta"?

There's a wonderful restaurant in Minneapolis called "Gasthof zur Gemütlichkeit"... must that also read "Guesthouse of Coziness?"

"oooh, honey!  Let's go to Guesthouse of Coziness for supper tonight!  They have really good Semmelknödel!  Oh, oops.. I mean roll dumplings...  I mean.. I'm a God fearing red-blooded American.. I speak ENGLISH... American.. hehe... A-mare-I-Can!

What a retarded idea.

[Ban my account ffs!]

Yes, but perhaps a little more lax.

-Outlawing foreign films unless they're dubbed.

And those only necessarily with subtitles.

Uh, that sentence doesn't make any sense, but the statement is still rather extreme.

Let's say I'm fluent in French and go on a vacation to France and buy some DVDs there of French movies not available in the US. Should I be arrested for trying to take those back to the US with me?

No.  Only movies released in theatres should be required to have subtitles.

Why?
How about if you accidentally buy a ticket for a movie that is only in Spanish, the theater just gives you your money back when you immediately walk out and request one?

[Ban my account ffs!]

Whenever we get a letter from the state of Minnesota, which is in English, you get a nice little card informing you that copies of that letter are available in a plethora of various symbols, characters, and other generally unrecognizable lines and squiggles that generally (and miraculously) have a readable phone number on the end.  Maybe we should adopt the language of mathematics.