South Park Conservative-MasterJedi '07 Campaign Headquarters

[SPC]

This will serve as mine and Masterjedi's campaign headquarters during our presidential run. I would like to make clear that I will be making regular campaign stops (daily basis) and will be posting campaign developments here. Feel free to ask any questions.

Exploratory Commitee
Declaration of Candidacy
National Weekly Atlasian Presidential Straw Poll
Press Conference
Validity of Abstaintions Amendment (Midwest)
South Park Conservative On the Issues

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Des Moines, IA

   Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. As I begin to embark on my presidential campaign, you might ask, "What would you do differently that the Colin-Jas administration?" Well, I will try to answer my question simply. The reform's of the Colin-Jas administration mostly would/did give the executive branch and the people more power in matters that were previously given to the Senate. If I was elected president, I would instead try to encourage more regional power. I would both ask the Senate to propose some amendments I would offer that would increase regional power, and actively encourage the regional governments to become more active. Thank you.
   I would aslo like to thank the fine Senator from Lousiana for his support.
(SPC leaves stage to several cheers.)

[SPC]

Campaign Stop From Milwaukee, WI

   Greetings, once again, ladies and gentlemen. To begin this campaign stop, I would lke to remind the honarable Vice-President that, as Lt. Gov., I sponsered two ballot initiatives and aided Senator Trondheim during Cormorant-gate. I feel that, while I could have done more during my Lt. Govship, I did a sufficient job. I also wish to make it known that I hope the strengthen regional governments by leaving more issues under their jurisdiction and offering the Senate a constitutional amendment to give them the right to nullify federal laws.
   Thank you.

(SPC once again leaves the stage to multiple chants.)

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Lansing, MI

   Hello, Michiganians. Today, I will now give a speech regarding individualism. I believe that government exists to protect each and every individual, not the majority of the populous. I do not belive in making legislation that would benefit some individuals at the enpense of others. As such, I pledge that, as president, I will never pass a law that infringes on the right of the minority, even if the majority of the Atlasian public wants it. When speeking about this, I remember a quote from one Benjamin Franklin, "Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for lunch, Liberty is a well-armed sheep defending itself from wolves." As such, I would metaphorically defend the right of that sheep even if there are 3000 wolves. Thank you all.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Chicago, IL

   Once again, I will start this campaign speech by responding to the honarable Vice-President's questions. The first statement is a misconception, as I also sponsered an initiative for a regional AIDS prevention program. My actions didn't differentiate from that of you or Speedy, though that does not dillute the fact that I did it. I hope to take matters of funding sceintific research and other subsidies from federal/senate control to regional control. In addition my nullifiction amendment would be different from the people's referendum amendment in that it woulod require regional ratification, not populist¹ ratification. Thank you.

¹ I mean populist in it's literal definition.

[SPC]

as I also sponsered an initiative for a regional AIDS prevention program.

What was it?

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Indianapolis, IN

   Welcome, fellow Atlasians! Today, my daily camapign speech will deal with taxation. I belive that every man has a right to the fruits of his labors, regardless of class, and, as president, I don't have any intention of taking that away from you. I don't think that people in Nyman have the right to take any portion of your earnings to use it on what they would like to spend it on. As president, I would never sign a bill that would subsidize an interest group unless 1) it specifically stated what the means of revenue for it would be and 2) that means of revenue would not come from taxpayers' dollars. I believe that it would be best if people were to fund those interest groups through voluntary charitable donations, not involuntary taxation. Thank you.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Columbus, OH

   Greetings, once again, fellow Atlasians! First, I would like to thank my running mate Masterjedi for deciding to make some speeches for the campaign later this week. Second, it would seem as though our campaign isn't doing very well in the National Weekly Atlasian presidential staw poll this weekend, so I encourage any supporter of our campaign that hasn't voted in the straw poll yet to please do so. And finally, I would like to hold a press conference to ask about my campaign. Thank you.

[SPC]

Bumped.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Philladelphia, PA

   Greetings, fellow Atlasians. First of all, sorry for not being here the last two days; I was busy. Second, I would like to address our disappointing straw poll finish. But, it is worth noting that every voter spare me and Inks were Progressives. The general electorate is less Progressive than the voters in the straw poll were, and the poll had a high margin of error. Though we only got 7% in the straw poll, it is very possible that we would get somewhere between the high teens and low twenties in the general election. However, I still realize my campaign is a true longshot. However, if we all come together, help the campaign, and vote, we can win! Thank you.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Pittsburgh, PA

   Greetings. Today, I would like to use my campaign speech to discuss a bill on the Senate floor. There is curretnly a bill being debated upon that would add an additional $50 million in funding to adult stem cell research. I am wholeheartedly opposed to this, as the means of revenue for this subsidy is not listed, and it is thus implied that this will come from taxpayer dollars. If I am elected President, I would never sign a bill that would subsidize a particular interest group through the involuntary "donations" of Atlasian taxpayers. Instead, I would encourage charitable donations to these groups if they have anoble cause by rewarding donations with tax breaks. If the Senate were to either amend the bill so that the funds for this project doesn't come for tax dollars or scrap the bil altogether, I would appreciate that. Thank you.

[SPC]

Do you support stem cell research? I don't want to hear the money/tax reason you've argued above.

Yes, I support stem-cell research. I believe a scientist has a right to study anything he wants so long a he doesn't hurt anyone else against their will in the process. If the scientist makes a life-saving discovery, great. If the study doesn't produce any results, oh well. Nevertheless, his research, regardless of its results, should be paid for by either himself or voluntary donations to him.

The Senate will not pass the type of unfair rich-friendly tax cuts you support.

My tax cuts would be the same for everyone regardless of class. The rich and middle class primarily would benefit from getting a lower tax burden. The poor classes primarily would benefit from a cure to a life-saving disease

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from New York, New York

   I am making tommorow's campaign stop early. Right now, I will address the End to Districts Amendment. I am sad to say that there words came from our own president's mouth:

I don't give a sh**t about the regions, I don't give a sh**t about your power

I thank my opponents Governor Polnut and Governor Inks for voting down this monstrosity of an amendment. As for our President and Vice-President, I do not have kind words to say. I would like to inform the president that some of us actually do care about regional rights. At this extremely anti-federalist time in Atlasia, were should be expanding regional power, not diminishing it! We need to be protecting republicanism in Atlasia, and not replace it with tyranny-by-the-majority! We need a president who would be willing to decrease federal power and increase regional power, and I feel that the current administration is doing an insufficient job at that. I can't speak for the other candidates, but I know that I would be willing to vote against a bill or an amendment, even if it doesn't suit my purposes. What we need in Atlasia is greater balance, and this amendment would only give an unfair playing field to the left-leaning candidates of Atlasia. Thank you, and I urge everyone to vote against this anti-regional Leviathan called the End of Districts Amendment!

[SPC]

I have no respect for someone who proclaims regional rights to be improtant but proceeds to do nothing from his own position in a regional government to promote and utilise these rights. The regions actually have a great deal of power, they have control over a wide variety of areas within their own borders - they simply choose not to use it.

I've sponsered two amendments to the Midwest Constitution, took part in a constitutional crisis, and attempted to open a voting booth (the latter of which you yourself prevented me from doing, even though the current governor later affirmed that what I had done was constitutional). To accuse me of doing less than I should have is acceptable, but to completely discredit my service as lieutenant governor is a disgrace. In fact, I probably would have done more as lt. governor had you not harrased me with the voting booth, which scared me from doing anything else! You shouldn't be one to criticize me for doing something as a lt. governor and then go on to complain about how I don't do anything as lt. governor!

[SPC]

Well, could you (or better yet, Colin) explain to me why, if this amendment has little to do with regional rights, then why did our president have to say that he doesn't care about the regions or their powers in his defense of the amendment? If he can do that, I will apoligize and take back everything I've said. I actually sponsered four amendments, but only two of them made it to the ballot. I wanted to open the voting booth when the governor was absent, but due to a certain vice-president harrasing me about it over non-existant constitutional issues (which were upheld to be non-existant by the Midwest's very own governor), I didn't want to do so, for fear that Jas would hassle me about it again. Also, I should mention that I cannot regularly propose bills to the Midwest, as we only have elections on propositions every two months.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Dallas, Texas

   Good afternoon, Texas. As you might have noticed, I filled out the voters' issues survey last night. Our campaign has now entered October, so we will now be getting into high gear. I would just like to reiterate that I am hoping for more active conservative-leaning members in Atlasia, as they are a key to balance. I wish my former opponent, the honorable Lewis Trondheim luck in his reelection campaign, as I do to the honorable Sam Spade, and I also wish perrenial joke candidate Everett luck in her Senate campaign. I would just like to thank all my supporters and I hope for a victory in three weeks.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Orange, CA

   Today, rahter than making a full campaign speech, I will post quotes that Masterjedi and I made in other threads:

South Park Conservative Is At It Again!
Orange County, CA--The Midwest Region's do-nothing Lieutenant Governor, South Park Conservative, has announced that his Presidential campaign, which will fail, is now in "full gear."  His running mate, Fmr. Sen. MasterJedi, is an inactive moderator who will not even respond to private messages pleading that he sticky the Senate's notice board.

     His campaign stresses ideals such as social darwinism, unlimited monopolistic corporations, and legal animal torture.  He is hoping to dazzle the conservative voting base and win an upset in the upcoming Presidential election; should his campaign gain any traction, readers may be assured that choice quotations from the candidate will be reprinted speedily, including classics pointing out that female teenagers are incredibly unintelligent in comparison to the candidate.

     Of course, while his disturbing ideology and less-than-stellar presentation of his views is certainly the main reason no one would, in their right mind, vote for him, the real issue is whether he would be an effective President.  One wonders whether he could match the level of reform and activity successfully pursued by the Colin Wixted/Jas administration [and, may the newspaper add, that in its upcoming endorsements, it will take into account the old maxim that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"...].  Since his campaign seems to be full of vague platitudes and libertarian talking points, it seems unlikely that he will be able to push any well-written legislation to the Senate.  Observant readers will remember that he was the author of the dreaded Yates Cancer Research Bill in its original monstrous form.

   I would like to follow the turn-the-other-cheek philosophy while dealig with this, and it is this slander that makes me want to take another look at the honerable Senator Afleitch's Press Complaints Commision. I have not advocated any of social darwinism, monopolistic corporations, and legal animal torture in my campaign, the fomer of which was misunderstood by yours truly, the second of which I don't ever recall saying, and the latter of which was never stated in the Atlas Fantasy Board. My statement regarding teenagers was also never said on the Atlas Fantasy Board, and I even prefaced that by stating I had no intention of being sexist. Our newspaper endorsed PBrunsel because we thought he was doing a fine job, and I see no real reason to replace someone who agrees with you 93% of the time. I don't intend on pushing any legislation toward the Senate; I would just propose some ideas and let the Senate amend it or reword it. I don't think the Executive Branch should be writing bills. I should also point out that the Yates Cancer Research Bill was not introduced in its original form, and was also written during a time where almost the entire forum had been conned. Also, I should note that I would have my chances at actually winning at <1%; I'm not delusional enough to think it is anything greater than that. Given what I said at the beginning of this statement, I shall not be hypocritical and criticize you and all of your faults taken out of context.
   It is your consistant bashing of me in your editorials that has made me change my mind on Senator Afleitch's Press Complaints Commision, and, if he's reading this, I wish to inform him that the former Editor-in-Chief of the National Weekly Atlasian, (Ironically, the very paper that gave him the idea for the commision in the first place), has his full support in passing the Press Complaints Commision Bill in the Senate, and I would sign it in the off-chance that I become president. Thank you.

This failed even though a majority of people were in favor of this. Very democratic...

Except we aren't a democracy but a republic which means the rights of the minority is protected from the rule of the majority.

Thank you.

[SPC]

You do know that Zimbabwe, Congo, Gabon are republics, right? They aren't democracies, but republics, kind of what you're arguing.

And the second part doesn't mean, to me, that the minority can become more powerful then the majority. Zimbabwe is a perfect example of how the minorities are respected in 'republics'

Maybe in theory, but, to my knowledge, they are dictatorships in practice. A constitutional republican government would respect the rights of everyone, and would let the majority infringe on the rights of the minority, or vice-versa.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop From Jersey City, New Jersey

   Greetings, once again, fellow Atlasians. First, I would like to respond to the fine Attorney General's question. I believe that the amendment's failure to pass is not an infringement on the rights of the majority. It's passage would have been an infringement on the rights of the minority, however, not allowing candidates to run for district senate at the local level but instead at the national level.
   Next, I would like to address recent poll numbers. Our campaign seems to be, as of recent, polling in the single digits. I would like to remind spectators that my Senatorial campaign last June was cosidering by many to be lackluster, but due to a last minute strategy, I was able to almost pull an upset. Under the condition that everyone I assume will vote will vote, our campaign will almost certainly get at least 10% of the vote. Another thing to consider is that, while I am currently running fifth to President Wixted, Sensei, Polnut, and Governor Jesus, the latter three of the four will have to win the Progressive primary first. That leaves only two major opponents: Colin Wixted and whomever the Progressives nominate. Surely there will be some voter dissatisfaction with these two candidates, and I suspect that my campaign would have the most to gain from these voters. Thank you all, and I hope that I can gain your support in this vital election.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Nyman, DC

   Greetings, once again, fellow Atlasians. First, I wish to apologize for my absence for the past three days. Second, I would like to once again address the Ebowed News Corporation. The CEO of this media outlet, Senator Ebowed (JCP-OR) has repeatedly attacked me and my campaign personally, with statements that were not even released by the official campaign. In addition, our Attorney General Hashemite (NRM-VA) cannot even distinguish the constitutional republican government that was made by the former United States of America in 1776 and the dictatorship in the Democratic "Republic" of the Congo. It would be appreciated by this campaign if these two people could do some research. Thank you.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Arlington, VA

   Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. Today, I really want to make my support base known, so please, if you are a supporter, please PM me. Other than that, I realy have writer's block as far as campaign announcements. Thank you.

[SPC]

Campaign Stop from Baltimore, MD

   Greetings, fellow Atlasians. Sorry once again for the absence. First, I am proud to announce that Former Senator and President PBrunsel has joined my campaign, and will be making a speech soon. Second, I would like to once again discuss the legitimacy of subsidizing a certain group at the expense of the general population. I remember a couple weeks ago, I made a comment with regards to a stem-cell research funding bill, suggesting that a supporter of the bill, Sen. Ebowed, donate a protion of his own immense fortune to stem-cell research rather than forcing other people to do so. He then responded by asking why bother having a government if wealthy people could fund the same activities. Well, it is not a function of the government to steal from the general populace and give it to a certain interest group, regardless of the good intentions of that group. The democratic and the republican way would be for those groups to function from individual voluntary charitable donations, as A) people would be more likely to donate to a group if that group was worthy of a donation and B) Having such a system would not force people to donate to causes they don't wish to donate to.
   Third, I would like to address my chances. I believe that, despite the constant polling, our campaign does have a significant chance at a good performance in the election. Atlasian conservatives (my core base) don't tend to participate in those polls, and I believe that I am saying some things that a good amount of them would like to hear from an elected official. ALso notable was that Sensei, once a presumed frontrunner, dropped out of the race because he didn't have enough support. I think we are poised to come in the top three in this election, but the only way to do that is with your help. Thank you.

[SPC]

Question we will ask all candidates, from Emirates News

Why should a centrist and moderate news firm like us endorse your candidacy? In what ways would you appeal to our politics and major themes (secularism, law/justice etc.)? If you need more info, look at my PM scores

Remember Emirates News is not radical libertarian.

A moderate group in Atlasia would benefit from endorsing a South Park Conservative candidacy in that, with the progressive primary over, I am the only serious candidate running against the President. I believe that Atlasian elections are about choices, and I do not think having a center-left incumbent candidate (ColinW) and a far-right fringe candidate (GPorter) is a choice. If the president makes a vital mistake by signing a bill that Emirate News network does not like, I am the only realistic alternative they can support. Also, I see nothing radical in believing that men and women have the right to make donations to certain causes as they please, rather than how 10 people in Nyman please. I see nothing radical in the theory that people will care more about protecting the environment if it's their property they're protecting. I see nothing radical in the idea that most controversial issues should be left to the regions to decide.

[SPC]

far-right fringe candidate (GPorter) is a choice.

You're more conservative than gporter. He is pro-affirmative action and anti-war.

GPorter's affirmative action answer was said because he had no clue what he was talking about (as usual) and I am probably more anti-war than GPorter.

What is your position on secularism and the separation of church and state, and for that matter on the idea that the government should also fund faith-based schools?

(Your answer will most likely determine our endorsement for President)

I believe that the federal government should have no business regarding church and state, and such decisions should be mde at the regional level, if at all. I don't believe the government has the responsibility to fund any schools, private, public, or religious, but there should be no special advantages to attending any of them (i.e. if they fund public school, they should fund private school with a voucher as well).

[SPC]

Well, it is not a function of the government to steal from the general populace and give it to a certain interest group, regardless of the good intentions of that group.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is the man who will veto emergency funding in response to a catastrophe like Hurricane Katrina.

The government has every right to expect you to pay taxes.  It's not "stealing."

I would not have the federal government in charge of emergency relief in the first place. That is the job of state and local governments. The government has no right to force you to pay income taxes, as that would assume that you are a slave, and that the government is being generous by allowing you to keep the 60% of income that they don't tax.