Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[memphis]

Cramps come from the devil? Does Bushie's church believe in faith healing?

[memphis]

I know that it does cost a considerable amount for kids in Kenya the United States to be educated - a lot end up dropping out pretty early due to finances, which is unfortunate.

[memphis]

Are you going to tell your dad you want to live full time in Kenya within the next year to year and a half?

Is the dog ok?

I'll tell him when I get home.  The old man needs time to get used to the idea, as well.

He just sent me a picture of JJ, so she's okay. We found out she squats instead of lifts a leg, so she's a girl.

Got to be a troll post. You don't have a dog for that long and not know the sex.

[memphis]

There is no possible way anybody can be that stupid to not how to tell if a puppy has a ween or not, or emotionally repressed to not want to even check. 

This is true. But after all we've been through on the Update, I can suspend disbelief. It's far from the most difficult thing in this saga to believe.

[memphis]

Guess looking for a job is off until after Christmas then...

[memphis]

I don't have a whole lot on the agenda today until a birthday party tonight at 1730.

So you have all day to fill out job applications.

[memphis]

In Oklahoma, do adults typically go to children's bday parties? It would be very odd here.

[memphis]

The only plausible conclusion I can draw is that his fellow Oklahomans understand that he is "special" and invite him out of a desire to be inclusive. It also explains all the supportive comments on facebook and his parents' willingness to tolerate his unhelpfulness. There really is no other explanation.

[memphis]

How does one not know how to swim? It's not rocket science. You rhythmically move your arms and legs together to propel yourself through water. Nothing to it.

[memphis]

Are you going to tell your dad you want to live full time in Kenya within the next year to year and a half?

Is the dog ok?

I'll tell him when I get home.  The old man needs time to get used to the idea, as well.

He just sent me a picture of JJ, so she's okay. We found out she squats instead of lifts a leg, so she's a girl.

How's the female dog that you guys have for some reason named Jeff Junior doing?

J.J. is growing like a weed.  He's as active as ever and he does come inside during the hottest of temperatures.  We are taking him to the vet tomorrow at 1630.  They wanted to wait until I got home to help them.

I am really confused. 

Perhaps the first question to ask the vet: In your expert medical opinion, does this dog have a penis?

Whoops, all that should say "she."  We'll find out for sure from the vet tomorrow.

WTF?  How poor is the sex education education in Oklahoma?

And you say that you guys have actually owned dogs before?

She's a girl because of the squatting.

That's not what makes a dog female.

[memphis]

and bushie...whatever sex jj is...please get it fixed!  no f'ing excuse not to.

^^^^^^^^^^^^
That one is extremely important. Especially is he/she is going to be spending time outside.
The number of perfectly healthy dogs that have to be euthanized just because of overpopulation is out of control!

[memphis]

The electronic fence thing is expensive. Guarantee you he's lying about that. Anything dad did "over lunch" like putting up missing signs and buying a doghouse is most likely a lie also.

[memphis]

Bushie, what have you been eating since your return to Oklahoma?

[memphis]

Did Bushie already explain why he couldn't do any of the household things like getting the dog collar, food, or house or anything on his own? Why does his dad constantly have to do anything and everything outside of the house?

Something called money.  I have no job as of yet, so therefore I have no money.  Dad has the money and works nearby the pet store, so he can just go at lunch and get the collar.  The food I can go to Dollar General or Walmart and pick up.  With the dog house, it would only fit in his SUV, not in my small Sentra, so not only did he have the money, but he had the room to transport it.

Oh. I thought maybe he could give you the money for some of the things you all need since he's working 60 hours a week and you and your mom are working 0. But if he insists....

Mama Bushie is old and has serious renal issues. She's allowed not to work. Also, the Sunday thing isn't the big deal everybody is making it out to be. One of the few perks of crappy part time jobs is that they are extraordinarily flexible. It's not the biggest deal in the world to BigBoxMart if there is one day a week you can't work. Still, I would definitely wait until after getting hired to tell them. People are so touchy about the religion thing, there's no way they can give you a hard time about it.

[memphis]

Add Target to the application list.  I'm going to stop there for the night as I've got a somewhat busy evening.  I have to go over to my cousin's to prepare for Vacation Bible School next week.

No need to visit. Pretty sure they make you do the application online. That's true of a lot of places lately. There's usually a little self-service computer kiosk for those who choose to do the application in store, but it's no different than doing it from home.

[memphis]

Bushie's church is closing because they can't find employees? I'm having an irony attack.

[memphis]

Add Target to the application list.  I'm going to stop there for the night as I've got a somewhat busy evening.  I have to go over to my cousin's to prepare for Vacation Bible School next week.

No need to visit. Pretty sure they make you do the application online. That's true of a lot of places lately. There's usually a little self-service computer kiosk for those who choose to do the application in store, but it's no different than doing it from home.

I did both applications online.

I would recommend calling Human Resources there, just asking if they received your application and express continued interest. I interned for a while in an HR department last summer, and anytime there was an opening, the first people we called were almost always the ones who had done a follow-up after applying. If you don't want to do one over the phone, even an e-mail would be good. You have plenty of bright minds on here who could help you with it.

^^^^^^^^^^^
This is really important. But it's also really simple and quick. One phone call.

[memphis]

If it is the Target in Midwest City (appears to be closest to you), the phone number is  (405) 455-4000. I can help you write up a transcript on what to say if you'd like. It may seem weird to do, but I can guarantee that the person on the other end will be grateful you took the time to call and show you were serious about the job. Places like that get young thugs and hooligans applying all the time - this is a good way to separate yourself from them.

It makes sense to call. But does it make Kingdom sense?

Actually, it does.  So, help me write up something to say Tmth and I'll call after I get back from Shawnee this afternoon.  And, I would rather call than email.  A phone call is more personal than electronic mail.

Give them a chance to review your application first. Call in a few days.

[memphis]

Does anyone understand why he even wants a dog when he's supposedly going to be moving to Kenya in a couple of years? Does he not understand that owning a dog is like a 13 year commitment (give or take a few years)?

Does anyone else find it slightly disturbing that the Bushie clan now has female dog that they've named Jeff Junior? Do Bushie's parents see him as a pet or something? Freud would have had a field day with this family.

Freud was a crackpot.

[memphis]

It's comforting that Sbane wants Jeff Junior to suffer in the OK heat when there is a cool home 5 feet away.

It has nothing to do with what I want. If I had a dog, I would keep it inside because keeping it outside would defeat the purpose. But it is extremely hilarious to hear that a dog is going to die because it's 85 degrees outside. Talk about sheltered....

It may not roll over and die but it would ycertainly suffer if it were left outside day after day in temperatures like that or higher. This isn't really debatable.

What about people who pick fruits in 100 degree weather everyday?

Mexicans aren't people, sbane. Only dogs and real Americans are people.

[memphis]

I seriously hope you're not putting that you're unavailable on Sunday on all of these applications. A lot of retail type places won't even look at applications where someone says they don't have full availability these days.

A much better tactic would be to get hired first, get settled for about a month or so, and then explain the Sunday situation to them. Most of these places are pretty flexible about hours and will collaborate with you on making a schedule that works for you but get hired first.

I disagree.  A devout churchgoing man who can't work on Sunday's sounds like a trustworthy employee to me.

Boy, will they ever be disappointed.

I think Bushie's trustworthy. I don't think he'd steal or anything.

[memphis]

Can I pay extra for premium to get the deleted scene where Bushie puts the shock collar on himself?

[memphis]

Wonder why his back hurts

[memphis]

You should anticipate and prepare for some likely interview questions. Why do you want to work here? Why are there so may holes in your employment history?  How much do you expect to be paid? How would you help an unhappy customer? Also, look snazzy for the interview. Shave the trash stache.

[memphis]

Wait, you need Saturday morning and afternoon off also?