The Comedy Goldmine(ONLY FUNNY ATLAS POSTS ALLOWED, NO BRTD ALLOWED)

[YRABNNRM]

I think I gave my answer before.  If I had a gun to my head- Sharpton.  I wonder what the scenario would be with Oprah Winfrey vs. Bush.  I'd vote for her in a heartbeat.  Now about Sharpton.  If given the option of running around Citizens Bank Park with a sellout Phillies crowd around the bases 10 times with nothing but a leather thong instead of voting for Sharpton or Bush, I'd do that.  I'm sure people would find me "Dead Sexy." 

[YRABNNRM]

I'm real.

Shut up

[YRABNNRM]

Careful...you might cause a flood and Mississippi doesn't need one of those!

[YRABNNRM]

yes but your party doesnt like 2005. you want it to be 1777 all over again. but it cant be like that any more. we have to move on.

It's 2006.

[YRABNNRM]

I had a dream last night that I met WalterMitty, but it was so strange I'm not even going to go into the details.

Nothing sexual, just strange.

All dreams are sexual on some level....  (Isn't that a Freud theory?  I don't necessarily believe it; I'm just busting your boys.)

dazzleman, do you dream of busting boys?

[YRABNNRM]

permanent hard-on. 

When I was a kid, maybe 8 or 9, for about a year I lived in an apartment complex next to an old-folks home.  There was this really old guy on the first floor who always used to leave his curtain open.  Every time the nurse would come in and check on him and leave, he'd start masturbating furiously.  It was in the pre-pubescent phase, and I hadn't quite figured out the joy of self-abuse yet, but I was sure that this was the old guy I wanted to be.  Not the guy who couldn't get it up.  Whatever he was doing, it must have been preferable to asexuality.  Permanent hard-on for me, thanks.

paper or plastic?

[YRABNNRM]

Dave, can you also do the same for "NixonNow" and "NixonNow"? Thanks.

Done

Can you also delete JFern and all references to him? Thx.

[YRABNNRM]

My only concern with politics right now is Samuel Alito (hopefully) getting confirmed and the Democrats finding a competent, moderate candidate for 2008 who has the balls to not blindly follow the DNC.

Why do you support a "worst nightmare" nominee for a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court?

Uh, because I don't consider him a worst nightmare. I consider him a competent judge qualified to serve on the high court.

BLAH BLAH  BLAH BLAH SENATOR FRIST BLAH BLAH SOMETHING I SAW ON DAILY-KOS BLAH BLAH

That's nice.

[YRABNNRM]

Actually the mexican side of my family has been in the southwest for centuries, long before the US showed up there in 1848. OH and the rest were in venezuela, quebec and europe.

So basically your Mexican ancestors snuck into the US by getting the US to invade? We're on to you Mexicans.

[YRABNNRM]

Ok so.. I don't know where to ask this question, so I'll do it here:
My gf and I were thinking about getting it on, but she's 17 years old... She argues that the age of consent here is 16, so it wouldn't be wrong.
I'd like some suggestions or answers here (opebo I know what you're going to say, so please refrain yourself).

[YRABNNRM]

She shouldn't cave just because that joke FEMA made all the blacks leave for Republican political gain.

[YRABNNRM]

Stick your penis into her... CRRRRRRRAACK!!!!!

[YRABNNRM]

Oh lord.

There is no such thing, you religious prude.

[YRABNNRM]

Definitely for Saddam.  He's my hero and I've supported his struggle for freedom during this entire war through and through.

Are you being sarcastic?

Dave

[YRABNNRM]

On the subject of who's a closet gay in the senate...

For the first time in my life, I voted for the Democrat!

[YRABNNRM]

On the subject of the Vampire Govenor candidate in MN...

This is good for Republicans as this guy will get democratic votes and Pawlenty will survive. pawlenty could be roves new project as the republicans werent happy wuith their defeats in mn and wi.

[YRABNNRM]

I thoroughly enjoyed this article. I am suffering under the rules of Dating right now, so I know how it feels. Thank you for posting it.

There's a simple solution to it: don't care about getting hooked up with a girl.

but im a teenage boy! thats what i do! (or try [and fail] to do, anyway)

What a colossal waste of time. Dating at the early teenage level is completely and utterly pointless. Yay for teenagers for not wasting their teenage days on doomed to fail relationships !!!

It isn't pointless - they get BJs.

[YRABNNRM]

the problem is that I watched the "Democratic Response" before I voted here.  Man, what a cracker.  that guy should have been wearing bib overalls and chewing on a long dry stalk of ryegrass while scratching his ass.  It was like forrest gump in a red tie and nixonian US flag lapel pin.  I didn't think it was possible to find someone who is less comfortable with reading words from a teleprompter than George Bush, but the Dems managed to find someone.  And what a weak statement he made about Iraq.  And that's being generous.

[YRABNNRM]

itll be an interesting story for kaine to tell his insurance customers in 4 years.

[YRABNNRM]

Sorry, I don't talk to born again hicks from the state that lynched Jake Gyllenhall ('s character)

[YRABNNRM]

This is a sad day for lesbians everywhere.

You should probably check threads before posting to see if more intelligent people have posted first.

[YRABNNRM]

Strange. I distinctly remember in 2004 how I had to press the button in voting booth about 5 times before it even registered and how I couldn't even vote for write-ins in the local races because the machine wasn't working right.

My advice to you is to not try and vote five times.

[YRABNNRM]

Hot pussy is hot pussy is hot pussy.

[YRABNNRM]

You posting always make me want to riot and burn your apartment down.

[YRABNNRM]

  Spitzer put the jew back in judical in the state of New York. However I think he is a prick and a blowhard.