Medicaid won't cover my TMS. I had my psychologist make an appeal and she was turned down, so my psychiatrist is writing a letter that will be ready Tuesday.
If this doesn't work, this might be my time to go. I refuse to go through 60+ years of endless suffering and pain whenever I am conscious.
No matter what happens, I love (most of) you guys and the community this forum has brought to me. Many of you have been very supportive of me throughout all of this.
But I don't want to be in pain anymore. We (rightly) put suffering animals out of their misery. It is egregious that we don't afford the same option to humans that are suffering.
For the last few years my original plan has been to off myself after my mother passes, so that she wouldn't have to bury her only child. I know that even if I do that I will probably be leaving a lot of people behind. And I live with the guilt of that every day. There are no good options here. But I have to do something to end the pain. Talk therapy is no longer working and I will probably be dropping my psychologist next week. All the pills no longer help either.
If my psychiatrist's appeal fails, that will be my signal to go.
I'm sorry.
How much will this procedure cost? Is there any way we can send you money to help pay for treatment?
