Northeast Assembly Thread

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Voting time has expired.  The ayes are seven and nays are zero.  The bill is passed.

Shall I bring up another bill, or is this it until next session?

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

The Assembly will now consider the legislation introduced by myself.  Debate will be for 48 hours.

The Mountaintop Removal Ban Act

A BILL to preserve the environment and public health by banning the removal of summits or summit ridges of mountains

1. The Northeast Assembly hereby acknowledges:

• That mountaintop removal is considered an 'extreme form' of mining
• That mountaintop removal hurts biodiversity
• That mountaintop removal reduces workers
• That mountaintop removal is a threat to the public health

2. The Northeast government shall not distribute any permits to coal-mining industries that desire to mine through the means of mountaintop removal.

3. Mining industries that partake in this practice will be fined at a maximum of $250,000.  The final amount shall be determined in a court of law.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Here is my justification for this bill.

Mountaintop removal is known to be an 'extreme' form of mining that occurs rarely, but has great negative impacts on people who live near the areas of where it takes place.  It destroys our beautiful mountains, harms biodiversity, fills our water with dirt and pollutants, contaminates the air with coal dust, and inevitably harms the health of residents nearby.  The form of mining also doesn't create new jobs, but reduces the need for workers.  The Northeast government should not permit this type of environmental destruction in our region.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

This bill is not only silly but also harmful.  Coal mining is inevitably a process which causes environmental damage, and obviously mining more coal would cause more damage.  However, it is ridiculous to say that coal should only be sourced from many small mines (all of which are environmentally-damaging eyesores), as opposed to a few big mines.  The level of environmental damage is going to inevitably be the same or even higher since only less-efficient methods are allowed to be used.

All this does is raise the price of energy, which will impact low-income individuals the most, and makes our mining industry uncompetitive compared to other regions and other countries which do not have these restrictions.  The 'mountaintop removal' will simply travel elsewhere, as well as the blue-collar unionized mining jobs that go with the coal mining industry.

If environmentalists are truly so concerned about this, then they are perfectly free to put their money where their mouth is and purchase said mountaintops from coal mining companies to be made into whatever sort of nature preserve they like.

Regular mining does not result in the damage of approximately 1,200 miles of streams, destroyed forests on some 300 square miles of land, contamination drinking water, flooded communities, or destroyed wildlife the way mountaintop removal does.  The companies will be allowed to use other methods of mining, but not kinds that are capable of such destruction and environmental harm.  Inhabitants of places like rural Pennsylvania are directly impacted by the decisions of these coal-mining industries.

All the costs are externalized in the form of damaged health and the environment.  And, as previously stated, mountaintop removal takes away jobs.  On top of all that, hunting, fishing, and other activities flourish in these sights.  My bill would not have a high impact on jobs and, if anything, would reduce costs in the long run.  But right now, we are choosing between cheaper energy and the quality of life for Appalachian residents.

I would be very open to purchasing nature preservations if such a proposal is made.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Also, numerous polls such as these have shown that the vast majority of Appalachian residents oppose the procedure.  This Assembly ought to represent them and their views, since their lives will be affected by this bill the most.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

But if we don't flatten the Appalachians, how will we ever make room for the Senator Libertas Memorial Park, or my palace?

Ever hear of a beautiful, flat place called Nebraska?

But in all seriousness, there are many places in the Northeast not in Appalachia.  If you want to build something on flat land, you are welcome to do so, but such an extreme form of mining has a significant impact on the lives of people on this land.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Debate time has expired.  Members will now cast their votes on passage of the legislation.  This will be a 24-hour vote.

The Mountaintop Removal Ban Act

A BILL to preserve the environment and public health by banning the removal of summits or summit ridges of mountains

1. The Northeast Assembly hereby acknowledges:

• That mountaintop removal is considered an 'extreme form' of mining
• That mountaintop removal hurts biodiversity
• That mountaintop removal reduces workers
• That mountaintop removal is a threat to the public health

2. The Northeast government shall not distribute any permits to coal-mining industries that desire to mine through the means of mountaintop removal.

3. Mining industries that partake in this practice will be fined at a maximum of $250,000.  The final amount shall be determined in a court of law.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Aye.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Voting time has expired.  The ayes are four, nays are one, abstentions zero, and non-voting members two.  The bill is passed.

No further legislation shall be considered by this body until the following session.  Please reintroduce all new bills after the start of the next session.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Thank you, Governor.

Please swear in if you haven't yet, everyone.  Only Cincinnatus and I have done so.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

I swear in.

This thread, please.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Thank you for your kind words, Napoleon.  I would very much like to run for the position again.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Thank you, 20RP12.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

I would like to nominate myself.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

[1] Scott
[2] Write-in: Cincinnatus

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Uhh... let's just give it to Scott.

This session is now open.

Would that be legal?  The Northeast Assembly Speaker Act authorizes that the Speaker be elected by a majority of legislators.  But of course, there are other parts of that act that the Assembly doesn't follow, either, technically.

Just want to clarify so there won't be any problems.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

First I would like to say thank you, to this Assembly, for giving me the opportunity to serve as your Speaker for another two months.

The Assembly will first consider the legislation introduced by myself.  Debate will be for 48 hours.

The Northeastern Anti-Bully Initiative Act of 2011

A BILL to curb bullying across the region and assist teenagers and families who struggle with bullying problems

1. Bullying is defined as:

• Verbal harassment
• Physical harassment
• Cyber bullying
• Stealing
• Bullying that is motivated by race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation
• Stalking

2. Teachers in Northeastern schools are hereby required to report all cases of bullying to their schools, school districts, fellow teachers, parents of the bully(s), parents of the student(s) being bullied, and if necessary, local law enforcement.

3. Bullying is hereby defined as a criminal offense.  Acts of bullying, as mentioned in section 1, are punishable through community service hours, after-school suspension, in-school suspension, expulsion, a monetary fine to be paid by the parents of the bully(s), or jail time, depending on the degree of the crime.

4. High schools are responsible for addressing the topic of bullying through lectures, health class assignments, or yearly assemblies.

5. The Northeast government shall subsidize anti-bullying and teen suicide prevention centers.

6. The Northeast shall apply for the appropriate funding for this law from the federal government, in compliance with The Atlasian Anti-bullying Bill 2011.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

In that case, I will amend that the section be taken out.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Debate time has expired.  Members will now cast their votes on passage of the legislation.  This will be a 24-hour vote.

The Northeastern Anti-Bully Initiative Act of 2011

A BILL to curb bullying across the region and assist teenagers and families who struggle with bullying problems

1. Bullying is defined as:

• Verbal harassment
• Physical harassment
• Cyber bullying
• Stealing
• Bullying that is motivated by race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation
• Stalking

2. Teachers in Northeastern schools are hereby required to report all cases of bullying to their schools, school districts, fellow teachers, parents of the bully(s), parents of the student(s) being bullied, and if necessary, local law enforcement.

3. Bullying is hereby defined as a criminal offense.  Acts of bullying, as mentioned in section 1, are punishable through community service hours, after-school suspension, in-school suspension, expulsion, a monetary fine to be paid by the parents of the bully(s), or jail time, depending on the degree of the crime.

4. High schools are responsible for addressing the topic of bullying through lectures, health class assignments, or yearly assemblies.

5. The Northeast shall apply for the appropriate funding for this law from the federal government, in compliance with The Atlasian Anti-bullying Bill 2011.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Aye.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Voting time has expired.  The ayes are one, nays one, abstentions one, and non-voting members one.  The bill will now go to the Governor to be voted on by the Northeastern people at his will.  I would like to remind our members to, please, try harder to make arguments before votes come up and alert the Assembly if you won't be able to vote on something.  I, personally, find it not only annoying, but pointless to debate when such time expires, and this has happened on several occasions.

The Assembly will now consider the legislation introduced by the gentleman from Massachusetts.  Debate will be for forty-eight hours.

The Dihydrogen Monoxide Ban Act

Recognizing that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance more addictive than heroin, crack cocaine, or crystal meth, and causes severe withdrawal symptoms upon cessation of use, that dihydrogen monoxide is a frequently used "party drug," that well-known athletes have been known to abuse dihydrogen monoxide in order to increase performance, that the vast majority of users of cannabis, cocaine, meth, PCP and other drugs have reported "swigging" as a gateway behavior, that dihydrogen monoxide is often sweetened with sugar and marketed to small children in flavors like "cherry" and "root beer," and that dihydrogen monoxide is often mixed with other narcotics to enhance their effects, dihydrogen monoxide is hereby banned in the Northeast region.  Any stocks found are to be incinerated.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Dihydrogen monoxide is an unfamiliar name for water that was the subject of an internet hoax.  As numerous scientific studies have shown, water is, in fact, necessary to sustain life.  Thus, I oppose this bill.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Oh.  Ohhhhhhh, I get it now.  He's trying to be funny.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

The gentleman from New York motions to reduce debate time by twelve hours.  This will be a twenty-four hour vote.

On the motion to reduce debate time by twelve hours

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Aye.