Update for Everyone VII: Insert Something Philosophical Sounding Here

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

I'm leaving atlas because it seems to be bad for my mental health. Nebulousviolet@gmail.com if anyone wants to contact me that much(won't neccesarily answer)

I am getting a therapist, so don't worry about me.

Goodbye and good luck.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

In other news, somebody in my school got shot and despite the suspect being in custody, we're still in lockdown for some reason.

EDIT: Well, I guess we're not doing the midterm today.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

In other news, somebody in my school got shot and despite the suspect being in custody, we're still in lockdown for some reason.

EDIT: Well, I guess we're not doing the midterm today.

Was the shot lethal? I hope that the victim survives.

He'd already died by the time you replied.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Jesus Christ that sounds awful, stay safe Peebs!

I got pulled out of school an hour and a half ago (and for some reason, school's still technically open), so while my mind's been going 100 miles a minute all day, I've technically remained safe.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Jesus Christ that sounds awful, stay safe Peebs!

I got pulled out of school an hour and a half ago (and for some reason, school's still technically open), so while my mind's been going 100 miles a minute all day, I've technically remained safe.

So did this happen on campus? Because if so, there are definitely going to be changes at your school for at least a short while.

Yeah, it seemed to happen where my second block was gonna take place.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

I'll be starting spironolactone on Saturday, and it's looking like estradiol will be coming about a month after that.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

I met Jim Hunt when my mom and sibling were early voting today and was barely able to contain my fangirling.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Man, these midterms drained the sh**t out of me.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

It's my birthday! I started off the day by chipping a tooth and being late to Calc.

Happy Birthday West! oof at being late to Calc and your tooth.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

stop spying on me Google



(and no, I was searching the color. I misspelled an eCommerce platform name)

Now that's hardcore--they've been spying on you for a decade to prepare for this moment!

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

So, the gossip today from the crazy Clinton obsessed guy at my work in the employee lounge is that:

Michele Obama went to a doctor and it’s proven she’s a man. The Obama’s are going to be giving their children back to the real parents soon.
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are being investigated for treason against America.
Chelsea Clinton is not Bill’s legitimate daughter; Hillary committed adultery and she’s the child of another man.

It's like they're projecting everything their President did on the evil Democrats. Sad!

Wait, Melania's transitioning?!

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Officially starting hormones tomorrow!

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Officially starting hormones tomorrow!

Update: My mental health has improved substantially now that I'm on hormones, but this morning, I remembered that I'm still not out in public, so I have two options: Push myself out of the closet on Wednesday or go back in with my tail (and something else ) between my legs. Honestly, the former doesn't sound too bad right now. It's my last semester anyway, and I'm gonna need something to do my senior presentation about, because I doubt Vice Presidents will cut it.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

My mind has been so ed for the past year now. I always beat myself up for no reason, but I just genuinely think there's no way I could actually do it. I'm an ugly boy, and that's just something I need to admit to myself. I can't do it. I'm not a girl. There's no way I could fit in. I just can't imagine a way in which I'm not a disgusting freak show. I need to stop lying to myself. I can't be a girl. It's something I need to admit to myself before I ruin myself. I'll never be valid. I'll never love myself. I'll never be happy.

I know you consider what I'm about to say to be on par with HISgate, but pretty much every trans woman has felt that way, either now or before. Before hormones I cried myself to sleep telling myself that. I still worry about that but it's not as hard on me now for some reason.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

I'm the fact that my still-half-closeted ass almost started crying because my teacher (who doesn't know I'm trans, as far as I know) deadnamed me in the example of saying "red hair" in Spanish.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

On one hand, I want to put my actual name on this fake resume I'm supposed to be making for English class, but on the other hand I know I should probably put my birth name instead.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Bought a dress. Dress was almost too big to fit in my bag. Decided to put on dress to remove stress on backpack. Couldn't figure out which way was up and wound up ruining the dress.

EDIT: The damage was primarily based on the interior, meaning that the dress is still functional. Unfortunately, it's still too small--Can't zip it up and it's crushing my stomach.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Started hormone replacement therapy. An estradiol and a spironolactone pill a day. Student insurance made it so that they only cost about $12 a month.

I already congratulated you a few times on Discord, but congrats again!

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

I should be doing my work but instead I'm scouring the depths of my school's website to see if I can change my name in their system.

EDIT: Got the job done, the counselor deadnamed me and called me "sir" as I was leaving. I want to f[inks]ing kill myself.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

God damn it. Writing a 13-page essay about the Vice Presidency has come back to bite me in the ass--I'm not talented enough for the only reasonable "product" I'm supposed to do in order to graduate, and the product is mandatory.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Even though I doubt most people know I'm trans, people deadnaming me reminds me that I'm expecting far too much from people. Maybe I should just come to terms with the fact that I'll never be accepted for who I really am, but I don't think I ever will. I don't want to live the rest of my life thinking about my mortality, but I don't think I have a choice. Either I'm bullied to the point that I eventually have the guts to kill myself, or someone is so profoundly annoyed by my insistence upon having boobs in public that they feel the need to give me the Matthew Shepard treatment. Maybe the world would be better off without me. My continued existence is virtually pointless as it is. Or maybe I'm overreacting and looking for attention because I didn't take my antidepressant today on account of the fact that it might have made me throw up yesterday.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Lost my phone yesterday and totally bombed my English midterm today. This... sucks.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Made the mistake of taking out my earplug just as I was hearing someone call me a "he". I crave death.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

I've noticed that I feel a lot worse than usual this past weekend.  I just wish I knew what was wrong with me.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Two months on hormones now.

My three-month tranniversary was on Thursday.