Is Cohabitation Immoral?

[barfbag]

No, but I can tell you from personal experience that it leads to many dramatic problems couples can avoid if they wait until they're married to live together. It also devalues the marriage which becomes simply something that happens throughout your history of living together rather than the start of your life together. Many relationships where couples live together before marriage end prematurely. This happens in marriage too, but at least married couples get that far.

[barfbag]

No, but I can tell you from personal experience that it leads to many dramatic problems couples can avoid if they wait until they're married to live together. 1. It also devalues the marriage which becomes simply something that happens throughout your history of living together rather than the start of your life together. 2. Many relationships where couples live together before marriage end prematurely. 3. This happens in marriage too, but at least married couples get that far.

1. When the couple decides to get married, they'll know that they have much more chemistry and they stay together for a longer period than most married couples, many times until death.
2. As stated in point 1, that is not the case.
3. So integrity for marriage is determined not by how long the couple stays together and their relationship, but how early they get married?

No it's just the opposite of number 3 and I thought I was extremely clear on it. The best thing to do is to take things slow and wait to live together and get married if you can help it. In our situation it's a little different because my girlfriend still doesn't feel ready to move out and I left my life in a different state to be here with her. There are circumstances where it's ok and works out, but generally it's best to wait. The relationship can end prematurely. Is the integrity of a relationship based on how early two people can move in together? Come on man, take it slow!

[barfbag]

No, but I can tell you from personal experience that it leads to many dramatic problems couples can avoid if they wait until they're married to live together. It also devalues the marriage which becomes simply something that happens throughout your history of living together rather than the start of your life together. Many relationships where couples live together before marriage end prematurely. This happens in marriage too, but at least married couples get that far.

Please elaborate on your points, because right now, it doesn't make that much sense.

How can cohabiting devalue your marriage? If you realize too late that your marriage doesn't work and it ends in divorce, wouldn't that devalue it far more than cohabitation beforehand?

Yes, many relationships that involve cohabitation before marriage end prematurely, but many also last a long time and result in marriage. Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater! Also, if you have any statistics that support your claim, please show them.

I'm glad you acknowledge that marriages can end prematurely (ie. in divorce), but I still don't understand why that's better than cohabiting beforehand. Why would divorce be better than cohabiting?

Yes a divorce would devalue it much more. I'd love to see statistics if someone can find them. Remember a lot of people who break up want to deny they've ever lived with a boyfriend or girlfriend so I'm not sure how we can parse the statistics in order to get through lies. As for divorces, there's plenty of couples who live together, get married, and don't divorce until down the road as well. I would've preferred my marriage to have been the beginning of living together. It likely won't be now that I live with my girlfriend, but it happens and I love her all the same.

[barfbag]

No, but I can tell you from personal experience that it leads to many dramatic problems couples can avoid if they wait until they're married to live together. It also devalues the marriage which becomes simply something that happens throughout your history of living together rather than the start of your life together. Many relationships where couples live together before marriage end prematurely. This happens in marriage too, but at least married couples get that far.

Please elaborate on your points, because right now, it doesn't make that much sense.

How can cohabiting devalue your marriage? If you realize too late that your marriage doesn't work and it ends in divorce, wouldn't that devalue it far more than cohabitation beforehand?

Yes, many relationships that involve cohabitation before marriage end prematurely, but many also last a long time and result in marriage. Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater! Also, if you have any statistics that support your claim, please show them.

I'm glad you acknowledge that marriages can end prematurely (ie. in divorce), but I still don't understand why that's better than cohabiting beforehand. Why would divorce be better than cohabiting?

Ask and ye shall receive



The usual caveats about correlation apply.

It looks like the cohabitors don't make it as long. I knew it.

[barfbag]

No, but I can tell you from personal experience that it leads to many dramatic problems couples can avoid if they wait until they're married to live together. It also devalues the marriage which becomes simply something that happens throughout your history of living together rather than the start of your life together. Many relationships where couples live together before marriage end prematurely. This happens in marriage too, but at least married couples get that far.

Please elaborate on your points, because right now, it doesn't make that much sense.

How can cohabiting devalue your marriage? If you realize too late that your marriage doesn't work and it ends in divorce, wouldn't that devalue it far more than cohabitation beforehand?

Yes, many relationships that involve cohabitation before marriage end prematurely, but many also last a long time and result in marriage. Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater! Also, if you have any statistics that support your claim, please show them.

I'm glad you acknowledge that marriages can end prematurely (ie. in divorce), but I still don't understand why that's better than cohabiting beforehand. Why would divorce be better than cohabiting?

Ask and ye shall receive



The usual caveats about correlation apply.

It looks like the cohabitors don't make it as long. I knew it.

Yeah but that's just because the non-cohabitors are generally so nerdy, fat, and unattractive that nobody decent would have them - thus nothing to lure them out of a marriage once they settle for another boring fatty.

I reported you but I'm not sure if you got in trouble. Do you have any statistics to back up your fat, nerdy claims?