What's your excuse for not being in a relationship?

[IceSpear]

Well, it seems to me that most gay guys just want to hook up. And gay guys are already a very small population to begin with. So in a choice between just sex and nothing, I'll take the former.

[IceSpear]

the one guy who I like (and he likes me) I haven't gotten the chance to ask out.

What's the hold up? Just ask him out if you already know he likes you. You're like at 95% of the process already while all of us are at 0% lol

Lol yeah if you like him and he likes you, and you both want a relationship, why is there nothing happening? It's much easier to find guys when you are in school. Out in the real world these days you have to rely on apps and websites to find guys (I suppose some people still go to bars to meet guys but not many) and trying to get to know random strangers through a phone app or computer is much more difficult than if you're going to school with someone. (And you tend to encounter creeps and liars and much worse things on the apps). You should consider yourself very lucky.

Well, we didn't meet until the beginning of last semester (early September) and we've hanged out a bit and gotten to know each other, but neither of us is ready to make the move yet one step further.

I'm a "sophomore" in our LAMBDA group while he's only a freshman so it technically should be me who asks him out on a date, but I didn't have the guts to do it, and when I thought I was ready to do it one day, he wasn't at school that day. Luckily, we'll both be back this next semester and school starts back in about a week and a half.

The way I ended up with my last boyfriend was quite simple actually. We only hung out a couple of times before we unexpectedly cuddled/made out one night. My situation right now though isn't as simple since over the past 4 months we've gotten to become better friends than I did with the last guy.

But you're right guys, I shouldn't screw this up. :/ I have a great opportunity here.

You're only a sophomore in college and you have a guy with whom you share mutual attraction going to the same college? Yes, I would say you have a great opportunity!

Lol you must be pretty attractive to just have one boyfriend after another, your love life sounds a lot more successful than most (including mine ).

Yep. We haven't really shared our feelings about each other (more-so just gotten to know each other's lives, hobbies etc.), but I was told by another good friend in LAMBDA that he told her that he likes me, and I imagine someone in the group has told him that I like him.

Relationships that start from school I'm definitely aware are successful though just from experience. Two of the girls in the group have been together for over a year now.

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Lol well thanks, this convo is getting a bit awkward now. :$

And I don't currently have a bf, my relationships fall apart quickly, and I HATE the stupid dating game, especially since gay dating in the 21st century is all dependent upon the stupid phone apps. Grindr, Hornet, Jack'd, Adam4Adam, BoyAhoy, GuySpy, etc., etc. And people who say that the guys you meet on a dating site like okcupid are necessarily any different or better are lying, based on experience. (So are the gay guys who say they don't use any apps or sites).

Typically I get a lot of messages from guys I'm not attracted to, while I get no responses from a lot of guys I am attracted to. :/

And gay guys in NYC are all mentally insane. For example I dated a guy from a Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, an aspiring filmmaker who seemed cool, unique, and artsy....but was a Jewish pedophile with a Hitler Youth fetish who kept 'complimenting' me by telling me "you're so cute, you look like you're in middle school". When I told him I had been a Catholic and gone to Catholic schools, he asked me if the priests had molested me. When I said no, he was like in shock "why not, you're so cute, the priests had to want you". Once in texting he demanded to see my ID cause he said I was lying about my age on my okcupid profile, and that it's ok, it would actually make him happy if I were like 16 rather than the 23 I was at the time. I refused and he relented since he said it's fine cause I'm his "type". He said he was attracted to the "Hitler Youth" look, I just took it to mean he preferred blonds, whatever.

On our first date he paid for dinner refusing to allow to allow me to pay my share. We went to a coffee shop afterward and then to a bar where he had 2 drinks and I had 3. Then he asked me to come back to his place. I was off from work the next day so I said yes. We went to his place, a nice brownstone in a nice neighborhood, it was his parents' house but he had the whole first floor to himself. On his bookshelf he had a menorah, but also a book of images of ideal Hitler Youth boys. I drank some more vodka (Stoli) at his place. I was in bed with him but all the alcohol combined with the gag reflex from what we were doing led me to vomit all over his bed. He like panicked and said I had to leave, but I didn't leave and ultimately he threw me on some sort of mattress on the floor and I blacked out. The next morning his equally Jewish friend Cassie, a psych grad student came over. He apologized for trying to kick me out saying he had just freaked out because he was a Jewish neurotic. The three of us discussed the psychiatric medications we were on while I had coffee and bread and he printed out Google Map directions for me to go home hungover as hell. Luckily right on the corner of his block was the subway stop as well as a juice place with a hangover cure blend, I forget the name of it.  

I didn't text him again thinking things were over, but he actually a few weeks later invited me on a second date. He invited me to be his date along with his friends to some punk art show ("Ubi Sings Ubi") at the Abrons Art Centre by the Williamsburg Bridge. I only had one drink at the punk art show, however I had gotten high prior to arriving at the date, and one drink was enough to cause me to spend that show in the art centre bathroom vomiting and almost passing out. My date still invited me back to his place but expressed concern that we wouldn't be able to do what he wanted to do. I got something to eat and we went back to his place and I indeed passed out midway through. So we did it the next morning instead, then the last thing we discussed was I suggested the use of Veet for hair removal, and that was the end of that dating debacle. A later Google search on his name revealed he was a co-writer of a film called "Boyland", about a relationship between a 60-year-old man and a 14-year-old boy. He also has some pretty crazy YouTube videos, one psychedelic "Boy Crazy Cabaret" in which at one point his head is superimposed to become a singing rabbi.


That's just one of my many fun dating experiences in New York City. And one of my excuses for why I am not in a relationship.