Comedy Goldmine XII: A reimagining with Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell

[The Mikado]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=105966.15
A Drama in Three Acts:

Part The First:  In which Sewer Socialist makes an inane, pointless thread.

Part The Second: In which Winston Disraeli makes a stunning revelation.

Part The Third:  In which the rest of the forum register a comic reaction.

[The Mikado]

Look at this fail:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080311123027AAFxwa2

Yes, that is hilarious. Reminds me of this quote, but only with "President" instead of "Mayor".

Officepark is really growing on me.

[The Mikado]

Hitler had the support of many elite in the military and businesses. He was very anti-communist. Of course, he wasn't the friend of Jewish bankers.

Why not? They financed his rise to power, after all.

[The Mikado]

While I disagree with him on abortion, Satanism, Zionism, imperialism, Winston Churchill, and self-castration, he is still a FF.

I absolutely love that list.

[The Mikado]

From Who's Online

Alcon   05:51:27 pm   Viewing the topic Am I an asshole.

Yes, Alcon, you are. 

(Some thread titles make for fantastic "Who's Online" viewing.)

[The Mikado]

Dennis Miller: Funny

This being the same Dennis Miller who once was cohost with a monkey.

[The Mikado]

Everything in moderation

(except Heroin)

That's right. Heroin should only ever be used to excess.

Funny 'cause it's true.

[The Mikado]

Indeed, which is why it surprises me that he keeps talking about it.

France is the most right-wing real country in Western Europe.

Germany? Switzerland? Ireland?

France is more right-wing than Germany. Switzerland I'm arbitrarily discounting. You're right about Ireland.

An amazingly common attitude about Switzerland.

[The Mikado]

I'm normal too

Chris FTW!

By the way, how long 'til the wedding?

[The Mikado]

As long as there are anti-gay people in the US, why would I, if I were a CBS executive, want that ad? Seems reasonable to me.

Quite right. Keep the poofs in their place. I mean, you know what they do to each other, right? Disgusting. Lower than animals if you ask me.

[The Mikado]

On Judge Walker's homosexuality:

Where is their proof about his orientation?

I had buttsex with him, three times.

I have a great vision of how this went down:

Judge Walker grinned at the young attorney and said, "Court requests a short recess."  Judge Walker threw off his robes. 
Lunar, shaken, hesitantly sputtered, "Your Honor, I...I object."
Judge Walker removed his briefs and smiled.  "Objection overruled."

[The Mikado]

Pornos

The topic was greatest invention of the 20th century.

http://www.chass.utoronto.ca/~ikalmar/images/pom1.jpg

(Potentially not work safe, though not explicit)

Actually, porn was invented in the 19th century.

The post of mine he quoted links to (very tame) 2500-year-old Greek pornography.

[The Mikado]

shoot i better bring in my policies

3. who was that guy who preceded Keynes by like 16 years? Anyone remember? Because I would hire that dude.

Ludwig von Mises?

I honestly can't tell if that's an intentional joke or not.

[The Mikado]

He'd be a FF if he was more moderate like my hero Mark Kirk, but since he's not, I just don't know WHAT to think.

I almost laughed out loud.  I only didn't because I have company over.

[The Mikado]

So besides the amusing part is that conclusive evidence of a clone?  Good but not a smoking gun type?  Just a quirky coincidence?

It's either the same person, or two people posting from the same internet connection.  Who apparently don't know each other.  And who apparently live in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

No, JSojourner, tell us you didn't!

[The Mikado]

Note the dateline.  I can't believe he did this.

Ridge obviously fits Jmfcst's requirements of being Roman Catholic, moderate and strong on defense issues.  He is a true American hero for serving the way he did in Vietnam.  The problem others have pointed out is pretty significant though. He supports the right of women to murder babies.  This cannot be tolerated in the Republican Party.  It's shameful we still put up with it.

Alexander and Gregg have both been mentioned, and both are fairly conservative pro-lifers.  Their age should not be a factor if they are healthy.  Thune is young and it won't hurt him to have a grey haired kind of "mentor" figure lurking in the background.  Voters felt a certain amount of reassurance with both Biden and Cheney in voting for relatively inexperienced Presidents.  (Though what reassures anyone about Biden is beyond me.)

I don't really believe a VP should be selected in order to "help" in a home state, anyway.  So if I were Thune, I would look to someone like Duncan Hunter.  California is probably a lost cause (although with the way Obama is wrecking the country, you never know!) Hunter is strong on fiscal, military and social issues.  Bob Dornan would be a good choice if he had been in Congress recently, but he is pretty much out of circulation.  Although...the more I think about it, the more appeal this has.  Dornan is hardly inactive...I didn't realize he was running again...

http://www.bobdornan.com/index2.html

He certainly represents American and Christian values, unlike Ridge.  And he has military experience.

Regardless, I am sure Thune will make a sound and reasoned choice.  Aside from Senator DeMint, he may possess one of the strongest intellectual minds in the Senate today. So you can bet he won't choose a candidate at the last minute and fail to properly vet them.

[The Mikado]

Strange news reported from Bagdad, four man with moustaches have been shot without a clear reason.

[The Mikado]

Richard Nixon was a fairly good president when he wasn't busy blowing people to little pieces.

And at what point did he NOT do that?

It makes it even better that the newbie's avatar is O-WV, so I automatically assumed that the first post was Al.

[The Mikado]

Round 2?!  2?!?!

[The Mikado]

     Yes, most definitely.

eww we don't want to see you nude. no need to give people heart attacks.

I'm grinning ear to ear right now.  Ice burn!

[The Mikado]

Also, do they do bizarre musical numbers like in Bollywood movies?  If so, definitely the family.

It is a common misconception that Bollywood is not representative of India. India is actually exactly like that.

[The Mikado]

No one actually posts anything funny in here. This place has gone downhill.

Get off of my Internet.

[The Mikado]

I would miss Hamilton, if I didn't talk to him pretty much everyday.

I understand you don't like to talk to yourself

If you can't detect the real Hamilton and follow his patterns by now then you have no place here. I'm not him.

[The Mikado]

I'm not sure that counts as a haiku, Mikado.  I'll check.


No, it doesn't.

Joe got 90% of the way to a perfect post there.  If he'd have made that into a haiku, he'd have hit it.

[The Mikado]

People in Britain are divided between the Red Party, the Blue Party and people who don't like either. The main dividing line between the parties is that followers of the Red Party say 'bath' and followers of the Blue Party say 'barth'. All subsequent policy differences stem from this fundamental linguistic division, as people who say 'bath' are more likely to live in small houses and follow football than people who say 'barth', while people who say 'barth' are more likely to have gone to university and to pretend to follow football than people who say 'bath'. The 'bath/barth' division has dominated British politics since 1924.

People who do not like either Party do so for different reasons. The largest group (who support the Yellow Party) think that what matters is not how words are pronounced, but the manner in which they are uttered. They tend to argue that supporters of the Red and Blue parties are wrong to say 'bath' or 'barth' like this when they ought to say either like that. Supporters of the Yellow Party tend to like muesli or tractors but never both. Other parties include the Purple Party (who want to invade Belgium), the Whites Only Group (who hate people with dark skins and like to shave their heads - presumably to prove their whiteness) and the Green Party (who say 'barth' but also like trees and soft drugs). In addition, there are the Blue and White Party (who say 'bath' but are supported by people who would say 'barth' if they lived south of the wall and who want a divorce) and the Red and Green Party (who say 'bath' in an unusual way and who want a trial period of seperation but won't comment on suggestions of divorce).

Finally there are the Northern Ireland Parties. They are divided over the correct position that a bowler hat should be worn in and used to shoot each other for reasons that make no sense.