The Kalwejt Foundation for the Promotion of Atlas Hilarity

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Who was even the last bearded major-party nominee?

Charles Hughes in 1916, maybe?

Full beard, yes. Moustache: Thomas Dewey.

In any case, Trump should bet with Paul Ryan on the outcome of today's vote. And if he loses he should promise to grow a pornstache.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

I'm gonna lol when we all find out Virginia is actually Hamilton after both Atlas and AAD get completely wiped

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

and John Lenin beat on women and kids.

John Lenin? is that Vladimir's great grandson?

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Anyone remember this?

Dear President Obama,

How's it hangin'? Why are you such a statesman and a dick? I was kidding, but seriously, you need to chill. You're controlled by that bitch wife, and her secret lover, Jimmy McMillan. Speaking of bitches, where did Hillary bury the bodies found in Bill's yard? Regarding Libya, I wish to express my disappointment that John Cameron Swayze isn't able to meet with Colonel Gadddafffii Quaddiff Gaddafi.

Tell me why women hate me.

These threads always fail because old Welsh men and Polish punks have lousy grammar. So, Mr. President, grammar my ass.

End of letter.

PS. There's also nothing. Good-bye. And Grumpy Gramps won't share his Virginia with the old house smasher, but he will ask you to have a martini.

Sorry for this, but please veto Senate Bill 978. Or at least learn to capitalize! When you ejaculated thinking of Hillary, removed by Inks, Bill Clinton said, "It's over 9,000!" One more thing...

Sarah Palin wants to destroy America from her house, with her kids, who'll be used in a musical about her life. We shouldn't care if Joe Biden thinks this is a big f'ing deal because it's just a musical. Musicals are for learning to capitalize! Or they're for raping hairy goats that also like big, hairy, yellow women.

I apologize for the fact that I hate you.

Is Michele Bachmann sleeping with Mitt or is she secretly seeing your giant, girthy black fist punching the face of John Edwards? Be careful, stay away from the hotel room where Bubba slept, as the odor smells like a putana-coated cigar.

Well then, I will conclude by saying that you suck.

                    Respectfully yours,
                   Kyle Christopher Mercado

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Context needed:

Gilligan's Island is responsible for 9/11.