Why did the two largest living figures in Christianity take such a different approach to marriage than the vast majority of its followers? Was lifelong celibacy intended to be the "default" choice to Jesus and Paul, taking precedence even over marriage and parenthood?
Asceticism in general seems to have been on the upswing in the 1st century: in Jewish circles there were the Thereputae, the Essenes and whatever the Qumran community was, and there was an ongoing Cynic revival in the Greek world.
The most interesting and direct passage about celibacy in the New Testament is in Luke 20:
Jesus said to them, “Those who belong to this age marry and are given in marriage; but those who are considered worthy of a place in that age and in the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage. Indeed they cannot die anymore, because they are like angels and are children of God, being children of the resurrection.
which seems straightforwardly to say that marriage makes one
unworthy of resurrection. It's especially interesting compared to the same pericope in Mark 12 and Matthew 22, where Jesus tells the Sadducees that only after the resurrection they will be like the angels who are not married in heaven.
