Update for Everyone VII: Insert Something Philosophical Sounding Here

[Santander]

Spending Leap Weekend with the better half in a log cabin. It's cold AF.

[pikachu]

It's been two days since I found out the top two at my 14-person (and rapidly getting smaller) firm have apparently been having a secret affair for years and I'm still shook.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

It's been two days since I found out the top two at my 14-person (and rapidly getting smaller) firm have apparently been having a secret affair for years and I'm still shook.

Why?

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Spending Leap Weekend with the better half in a log cabin. It's cold AF.

Beautiful!

[Boobs]

After months of trying, the wife is finally pregnant.

[Mike Thick]

After months of trying, the wife is finally pregnant.

Wow. Just wow. Congratulations.

[pikachu]

It's been two days since I found out the top two at my 14-person (and rapidly getting smaller) firm have apparently been having a secret affair for years and I'm still shook.

Why?

It just explains so much. Everything makes sense now.

[BP🌹]

Another battle lost in the demographic war /s

[Mr. Smith]

Welp, I learned something yesterday...of confirmed?

Don't road-trip with someone you don't like just because you have a guilty conscience and you're desperate to get out of Dodge for a moment.

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

I made this map and I want to fix that king county eyesore that I had to make a whole new category for

So I found the identity and personal info of the one democrat from king county Texas who voted in the 2018 dem primary, and got politicalmasta73 to contact her to go vote so that map won't be an eyesore anymore hopefully.

I think we could legit convince a few king county ppl to vote in the dem primary this year, we should give the king county dem presidential primary to marianne williamson lol

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Today's election news has got me so depressed that I took three Lyrica to ease the pain and anxiety.

I wish I could take two more but I don't want to run out early.  Technically I'm supposed to take one Lyrica a day, but I skip some days so that I can take multiple doses at a time.

For depression sufferers this is not something I normally recommend but if you experience periodic bouts of melancholy, saving your anticonvulsants/depression medication for the really bad days helps more than just taking one pill a day and feeling mildly depressed anyway.

I see my psychiatrist on Wednesday and I'm going to ask for an increased dosage.  I also plan on asking him about medical marijuana, because cannabis is really the only thing that gets me through the day.  My weed guy cut me loose last year, so I've been enduring these depressive episodes mostly sober, because all I have right now is Lyrica that I save to overtake on my really bad days.  And today is one of those days.

I've been seeing a therapist since December and while I like her, we've only been focusing on my anxiety problems and not depression, which is what is affecting me most.  Because right now, honestly, there's nothing in this world that brings me joy anymore.  That's basically why I sh!tpost here.

But anyway if shua or anyone in the Hampton Roads area could hook me up with some green, please PM me because at this point I am extremely desperate.  I haven't felt this bad since the night I attempted suicide last year.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

If it weren't for ST, I'd probably have checked myself into a psych ward by now.  But I don't really see the point because all I'd get is a therapy session with someone who doesn't know my history.  I also don't want to be forced to strip naked in front of a bunch of doctors and put on a gown.  And after all is said and done I'd still be forced to return to the shed I'm living in.  Then I'll end up having another breakdown and be forced to go to the psych ward again.  There is no point, because there is nothing in this world, political or otherwise, that brings me joy or happiness anymore.  Any "joy" I experience is only temporary.  My brain is wired to trap me in a state of depression.  Nothing else matters.

Right now I'm just praying that I can make it through tomorrow before I see my psychiatrist on Wednesday and my therapist on Thursday.

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

You know after a 24 hour fast you are actually not super hungry, just nauseous, and after you eat it’s hard to keep it down and you get even more nauseous.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

My brother relapsed on Oxycotin, used my credit card (which I STUPIDLY let him borrow to gas his car up) to upwards of ~$400 of charges, and possibly might end up in jail now because of the Marchman Act now depending on what happens when he gets to detox.

But I'M the bad guy, because I simply said "I do mind" when my brother asked me if "I didn't mind" if he could get five of my cigarettes. My mom at this point intervened, much to my annoyance, and next thing you know I'm getting accused of being the asshole.

My mom thinks that since she apologized to be for a litany of emotional and verbal abuse (including telling me once that I'm autistic too) because she's now in AA and had to complete that step. But since then, she went back to acting like the same miserable person while continuing to enable my brother. Everyone from my dad to my late grandma to her own sister all have said that she unfairly favors my middle brother, and frankly, I'm starting to think that his whole issue with addiction stems from the fact that he has never experienced consequences for anything.

In the past year, my brother has:
- Invited a junkie hooker and her pimp to smoke crack with them in my apartment when I stupidly agreed to let him spend a week with me in Tallahassee. That was the semester where I went off the rails because I had to be there ensuring he didn't steal or overdose in my absence.

-Stole my $90 Mandolin and the $150 case and pawned it for forty bucks, which of course went to

-Threw a chunk of asphalt at my car because I refused to let his weird friend from rehab crash in my apartment with him.

-Attacked me with a freaking bicycle during a psychotic rage brought on by taking coke and xanax at the same time.

- TEN overdoses.

I smoke over a pack a day, I weigh only 133 pounds because I'm never even hungry any more, and I can't stand this reality so I go off my bipolar meds for weeks at a time so I can trip on LSD, because frankly, that's the only thing that brings me any semblance of joy lately. Well, that and Joe Pera Talks With You. I love that show. But anywho, my capacity for further empathy is limited.

Not suicidal, nor are my moods swinging, but I'm still incredibly pissed off.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

Right now I'm just praying that I can make it through tomorrow before I see my psychiatrist on Wednesday and my therapist on Thursday.

I take great pleasure in the this forum. I have friends from Ftghan and Grassroots to TNF and BP. There have been times (see my last post in this thread) where I cling to something, anything really, to keep me going forward. For example, my best friend of 20 years is getting married next year. I have been obsessively training my mind on remembering that regardless of what happens, I have to be there for it. Another example is my youngest brother, who has severe autism and has extremely limited communication skills. I simply cannot leave him behind, especially if my other brother is either dead from an overdose or alive but not sober.

When I see posts like yours, I hope you know that I feel your sorrow with you, and we all want to see you happy and thriving. I hate when other people tell me "it gets better" when it feels it never will, but it truly, truly, truly is a waiting game. Cling on for dear life if you have to, but you have so much to offer and so much to receive, even if it does feel hopeless (and again, I insist that there's nothing wrong or abnormal about feeling hopelessness - it's a perfectly rational emotion in tough times).

This forum would be a much darker place if we lost you as a poster, as a person, as a friend, and as a great intellect. Never feel ashamed to talk about this stuff. We love 'ya man!

[We Live in Black and White]

Social Security decided to be nice to me and give me a rent bonus to my monthly payments, meaning I can finally contribute a decent chunk to my family's household expenses. Christ, what a relief. I've spent the last two years since I lost my job feeling like a high-functioning leech with a face.

Also, @Scott and Sanchez: Jesus, you two, take care of yourselves. I'm not a religious man by any means, but you have all of my best wishes and I'm certain those of everyone here. The forum would be a darker place, and worse off, missing either one of you.

[America Needs R'hllor]

Didn't believe it'd get to this, but this is now my 2020 candidate ranking:

1. Sanders
2. Biden
3. Warren


4. Gabbard


5. Bloomberg

Yes, I'm supporting Sanders. The turning point was the results of the Israeli election- most of my people elected to fear Arabs and to support corruption and annexations, and I have to reach the conclusion that for our own good, we need a turning point in the US-Israeli relationship- a President who'll know to put up boundaries for our government's behaviour. I believe Sanders will do it better than Biden.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

-snip-

-snip-

Ditto, bud.  As to your brother, you obviously know this better than I do but addiction really drives people to do really idiotic and selfish things.  A friend of my mom's daughter was released from jail in January.  She has a loooooong-ass record, but she's also heavily addicted to meth.  After detoxing from spending six months in jail and being put on probation afterwards, you would think that she'd stay away from that stuff for good.

But the first thing she does after being released?  She sees her PO, gets a dirty pee test, and now she's a fugitive hiding in God-knows-where.  Meanwhile her parents are dirt poor and can't afford to fill her canteen.  More than likely she'll be going to prison for two years when they finally catch her, if they haven't already.

It may sound cold, but I find it incredibly difficult to have sympathy for people like that who knowingly destroy their lives as well as their families'.  But addiction is a 'disease' they say, and it's something that only they can fight off.  And it's hard to argue that it's not some kind of brain illness when addicts do things that most rationally-minded people would never do.

And you're right: sometimes the hardest thing standing in the way is patience.  It's like that old Tom Petty song goes: "The waiting is the hardest part."  My mom tells me "it will get better" every day, over and over again, but after hearing that for so long you tend to stop believing it.  Then you lose hope.

But I also believe that God has a plan for each of us and no matter how rough things get in the interim, everything will turn out okay.  And miracles often happen when you least expect.

You clearly have a lot on your shoulders trying to help both your brothers.  But as long as you're there for them, you are doing all that you can do.  After all, family is what's most important.

[Santander]

Never do favors for anyone at work.

[HillGoose]

tonados came through last night, destroyed a lot of the town i work in, really sad.

[We Live in Black and White]

After a brief period of immense disappointment, I am over the results tonight and intend to spend the rest of my time this primary season working on my novel and accepting the inevitability of four more years of Agent Orange. Less stress that way.

[brucejoel99]

After a brief period of immense disappointment, I am over the results tonight and intend to spend the rest of my time this primary season working on my novel and accepting the inevitability of four more years of Agent Orange. Less stress that way.

Will you at least vote for Biden in the general?

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

After a brief period of immense disappointment, I am over the results tonight and intend to spend the rest of my time this primary season working on my novel and accepting the inevitability of four more years of Agent Orange. Less stress that way.

Atlas needs more published authors! Best of luck with the writing process. Lately I can't stick to anything I write at all for longer than a few days.

[BP🌹]

It's starting to really sink in now.

The reason why Bernie appealed to me so much more than, say, Warren is that I believe he's "hiding he's power level". I do believe that his personal beliefs that he's a true socialist and not a succdem. I don't have reason to say the same thing about AOC, the natural heir to his movement.

It's like the Labour leadership - even if Long Structural Bailey somehow won, it just wouldn't be the same without Jezza.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

It's starting to really sink in now.

The reason why Bernie appealed to me so much more than, say, Warren is that I believe he's "hiding he's power level". I do believe that his personal beliefs that he's a true socialist and not a succdem. I don't have reason to say the same thing about AOC, the natural heir to his movement.

It's like the Labour leadership - even if Long Structural Bailey somehow won, it just wouldn't be the same without Jezza.

I was a passionate and politically involved Paultard in 2012 and felt the same when Rand started to wet the bed. I was a Trump supporter by October of 2015 because of Rand's lackluster campaign.