Atlasian Security Services

[SPC]

This shall be the headquarters of my security company. Any customers of mine will be provided top-notch police protection for only a small monthly fee. All of my customers will be exempt from paying any taxes to the Atlasian government or their regional governments.

[SPC]

Yay! Anarchism!

Will you also donate to courts on your clients' behalf?

Indeed. I will wait this out until I run into trouble from the Atlasian government.

[SPC]

First of all, I'm glad to see how much sucess we are having in our first day. Second, I hereby grant sensei's, Hashemite's, DWTL's, and Ben's requests for protection. Thank you.

[SPC]

What level protection does ASS cover?  Does ASS protect against petty crime, organized crime, rioting, and invasion by a hostile foreign power?  That's a pretty broad spectrum.  Perhaps you could divide it into a microsecurity service and a macrosecurity service: call the small one Half ASS and the full one ASS Whole.

If you are willing to buy stock in ASS, you could become elected to the Board of Directors of ASS, and propose and split-off between ASS Domestic and ASS Foreign. But, for now, ASS provides protection against any act of agression.

[SPC]

I have a coup d'etat in Moldova I want to pull off. Can I order some ASS agents to come with me to seize the Presidential Palace?

Sorry, we only deal with defensive services.


GM3, given how valuable ASS currently is, the stock price is $3,000/share. I however, am not putting 51% of the shares up for sale at this time.

[SPC]

We are back in business!

[SPC]

ASS's protection was sorely missed, this was be perfect for when I introduce a bill to eliminate the police in favor of a private force

You're moving to anarcho-capitalism even quicker than I thought.

[SPC]

ASS's protection was sorely missed, this was be perfect for when I introduce a bill to eliminate the police in favor of a private force

You're moving to anarcho-capitalism even quicker than I thought.

at this pace, he'll be crazier than you in a matter of weeks.

Right, because anyone who disagrees with theft and murder is clearly nuts. (I will stop here to prevent this thread from being hijacked. Go on if you want, but you will only be beating a dead horse.)

[SPC]

Bumped, as Atlasian Security Services has currently declared war against the Mexican government, and will likely be the new government of Mexico in a matter of weeks. Free elections will go on again as soon as our troops have made it into Mexico City, and as President of ASS, I will allow dual citizenship with Atlasia.

[SPC]

Due to the recent death of King of the Bench Press, Atlasian Security Services will be conducting an investigation into the murder.

[SPC]

Due to having been recently elected to public office, I formally resign the chairmanship of Atlasian Security Services. Whoever wants it can take it.

[SPC]

I am reassuming the chairmanship of ASS, due to recent events in foreign affairs. After the ceasefire was achieved in the War on Mexico (November 23 2008 - December 21 2008), we withdrew our troops from the country. However, as Chairman of ASS, I plan on continuing the invasion and launching a second-front in Canada to save the French-Canadians. Our intentions are to grant the French-Canadians independence and incorporate the rest of Canada into a Mexican territory. The Second North American War has begun.

[SPC]

Atlasian Security Services have taken over Baja California on behalf of the new Republic of Mexico. If the Pacific region wants, the Republic of Mexico is willing to allow the Pacific Region to annex the peninsula

[SPC]

     Mexico will willingly give it up now that we own it?

     I should say that if any new state should join the Southeast as a result of this, I might be willing to help colonize it.

The Republic of Mexico is not the United Mexican States. While the latter is the official Mexican government that we hope to overthrow, the Republic of Mexico is the de facto ASS puppet state.

[SPC]

Since we now have two fronts, does ASS need any new military Officers or NCO's?

The position is always available.

[SPC]

Atlasian Security Services have libertared Mazatlan from the United Mexican States' Armed Forces. It has been incorporated into the Republic of Mexico.

[SPC]

Atlasian Security Services is pleased to announce that it has toppled the evil United Mexican States and the Republic of Mexico is now in control of the entire country. As de facto president of Mexico, I would like to announce that the Republic of Mexico will be on a dual-citizenship policy with Atlasia. You may register here, and an election will be held when 10 people register.

[SPC]

DixieMint, a subsidary of Atlasian Security Services, is please to announce that, under the Freedom of Currency Amendment passed by the Dirty South, we willl be acquiring gold reserves and issuing dixies to the Dirty South.

[SPC]

DixieMint, a subsidary of Atlasian Security Services, is please to announce that, under the Freedom of Currency Amendment passed by the Dirty South, we willl be acquiring gold reserves and issuing dixies to the Dirty South.

We'll see how long that lasts.

Notice that the fineprint of this helps it last.

[SPC]

Oh Jesus, you've been playing pretend war? I mean, this hasn't even been sanctioned by the GM, has it?

It's a mercenary group, so I wouldn't think it would be necessary.

[SPC]

While the Supreme Court struck down part of the Freedom of Currency Amendment as unconstitutional, it did not strike down the part taking Atlasian dollars out of circulation. Thus, to fill this void, we will continue to issue gold-backed dixies in the region, albeit without the Dirty Southern government's support.