Comedy Goldmine V: A Tribute to Delayed Sequels with Over-the-Hill Actors

[Verily]

This thread has to stop falling to page 2!!!

Clearly, you need to post more often.

[Albus Dumbledore]

Ice burn.

[Хahar 🤔]

The Republicans retain the White House by wide margins in 1988, 1992, 1996, 2000, and 2004, and retain control of the House and Senate throughout all that time.

[YRABNNRM]

McCain should pick Romney, far and away the most qualified to serve as Vice President and to become President should the occasion arise.

G-d, I would consider leaving the country if that slimeball ever became President.

You obviously don't call yourself a clown for nothing.

[DownWithTheLeft]

Alright, I'm still not 100% what Gporter is getting at but this hilarious:

you all must really hate me. I have never heard one kind word come from some of your mouths. keeping up with your criticisms of me is like flipping through a Playboy magazine with your wife flipping the pages.

[Hash]

Alright, I'm still not 100% what Gporter is getting at but this hilarious:

you all must really hate me. I have never heard one kind word come from some of your mouths. keeping up with your criticisms of me is like flipping through a Playboy magazine with your wife flipping the pages.

And then he says he goes to a Christian school... Lol.

[DownWithTheLeft]

Alright, I'm still not 100% what Gporter is getting at but this hilarious:

you all must really hate me. I have never heard one kind word come from some of your mouths. keeping up with your criticisms of me is like flipping through a Playboy magazine with your wife flipping the pages.

And then he says he goes to a Christian school... Lol.

I keep reading this quote and still have no idea what the hell the analogy he is trying to draw is

[YRABNNRM]

Ten years ago today, "Armageddon", my favorite movie, came into theaters.

While it was panned by critics for "over the top" action and razz-dazz special effects, it sure made the public happy...and "Armageddon" became the highest grossing film in the world for 1998, beating out "Saving Private Ryan".

I first saw this film in 2001, and ever since then it has remained my favorite movie. It was strange...as soon as it ended seven years ago, I noted "that was the greatest movie I have ever seen." It made me laugh, made me cry, and ALWAYS kept me on the edge of my seat.

The plot for those unfamilar:

When a giant sized asteroid is on a collison course with Earth, sure to end all life...the head of NASA hires Bruce Willis and his rag-tag team of blue collar roughneck oil drillers to fly to the Asteroid, drill and blow up the rock.

Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer worked on this together...and any film either one of them has been involved in (Bad Boys I and II, National Treasure I and II, The Rock, Con-Air, ect.) are all some of my favorites.

If you haven't seen it, check it out.

[??????????]

One of my favorite things about this forum is that it is intellectually challenging.  You never feel like you are the smartest person in the room.

[YRABNNRM]

I'd like to know where I said I didn't support a budget, I am actually undecided.  Gporter speeches continue to follow the pattern of say one thing incredibly broad, say that same thing over again with different words, say that thing again the way it was said the first time, thank everyone.

I just hope he doesn't cry after this race unlike the last one

You have no proof that I cried. I did not cry.

He will not bring in new ideas, we have seen proof of this in the campaign when he has brought nothing new to the floor. He speaks of the past, I speak of the future. I am a candidate who brings new things to the floor. I could be a new face in the senate with new ideas. Compared to an old face with no new ideas that he talked about.

Those sentences all same the same exact thing

they are not. see, there you go, attacking every little thing someone else does for no reason. do people really want a senator like that?

They want a senator that doesn't cry foul everytime cause they are a weakling

excuse me, that was the only time that I had cried foul. Check your records. I have conceded with my head held high every time except for this time that I have lost an election on here. trying to make me loose by telling fibs about me like that should not be able to work.

you call me a weakling, check the mirror first.

Gporter, here's another quality every Senator should have:
LEARING HOW TO F***KING SPELL!!

here is another fine example of you all telling a fib about me just for me to loose an election. I ran the post through spell check and it had nothing wrong with it.

[DownWithTheLeft]

That whole post is hialrious, but also make note that are the "LEARN TO IN SPELL" thing Gporter posts the word "loose" instead of "lose"

[YRABNNRM]

That whole post is hialrious, but also make note that are the "LEARN TO IN SPELL" thing Gporter posts the word "loose" instead of "lose"

Yea, that's what's funny about it big guy.

[DownWithTheLeft]

That whole post is hialrious, but also make note that are the "LEARN TO IN SPELL" thing Gporter posts the word "loose" instead of "lose"

Yea, that's what's funny about it big guy.

O its a lot more than that

[Sensei]

May I present the Reagan Bill, the first proposed piece of legislation proposed by Gporter:

Arcticle 1

-Ronald reagan is god
-he is a great president
-lyoid beinstien was a good running mate for Micheal Dukacis
-rosanlin carter was carter's wife
-what if bobby kennedy wasnt shot in 1968?

Arcticle 2

-I know more about politics than all of you
-i have studied politics since age 5
-i know all presidents by heart
-ask me any political question and i answer
-I read Playboy!

[YRABNNRM]

That whole post is hialrious, but also make note that are the "LEARN TO IN SPELL" thing Gporter posts the word "loose" instead of "lose"

Yea, that's what's funny about it big guy.

O its a lot more than that

Nothing that isn't in every other gporter post.

[Mr. Morden]

May I present the Reagan Bill, the first proposed piece of legislation proposed by Gporter:

Arcticle 1

-Ronald reagan is god
-he is a great president
-lyoid beinstien was a good running mate for Micheal Dukacis
-rosanlin carter was carter's wife
-what if bobby kennedy wasnt shot in 1968?

Arcticle 2

-I know more about politics than all of you
-i have studied politics since age 5
-i know all presidents by heart
-ask me any political question and i answer
-I read Playboy!

I think there should have been an Article 3, with the words "Discuss with maps".

[Hash]

I think that you want for me to learn how to spell, which I already know how too but you insist that I don't, not lear how to spell.

WHY DON'T YOU USE THE SPELL CHECK?

[Lief 🗽]

Neutral though he does fit into my belief that all countries should be ruled by crude stereotypes.

click for context

[YRABNNRM]

This guy really is shameless.

I have a huge problem with him, and I don't think he is qualified to shine my shoes, but the McCain campaign needs to consider him, because he was a Governor, and has lots of money.

You could not afford to have Romney shine your shoes, my friend.

[Hash]

gporter's first Senate legislation

Immigration Reform Bill:

1. All illegal immigrants who wish to become residences of this country will be able to do so in an easy process. The immigrants shall notify the Atlasian government at least four months before coming into the country. The atlasian government will look at the person's background, including criminal record and other records. The government will send a notification back to the upcoming immigrant saying if he has been accepted or turned down by the government to come into the country.

2. Two months before coming into the country, the upcoming immigrant will send forms to the Atlasian government to both apply for a drivers license and for health care. Once the upcoming immigrant is given the health care and drivers license for Atlasia, then he must wait two more months before coming into the country.

3. After the two month period, the immigrant will be allowed into the country. The immigrant must report to the state government within thirty days for notification that the immigrant is now a citizen of Atlasia.

This bill, if passed,  will make the immigration system better. It will allow the immigrant to come into the country already having health care, a drivers license, and admission to become an Atlasian citizen.

[DownWithTheLeft]

I have some more Gporter personal message material, some of it funnier than the first if anyone wants it

[Hash]

I have some more Gporter personal message material, some of it funnier than the first if anyone wants it

Send my way, please.

[Franzl]

I have some more Gporter personal message material, some of it funnier than the first if anyone wants it

Send my way, please.

same here!

[Sensei]

I have some more Gporter personal message material, some of it funnier than the first if anyone wants it

Send my way, please.

same here!

me too

[King]

I have some more Gporter personal message material, some of it funnier than the first if anyone wants it

Send my way, please.

Me! Me! Me!

same here!

me too