(R-PA) Gov. Keystone Phil vs. (R-TX) Sen. Mike Naso

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Why does your hair look so silly?

And why does it remind me of Bill Clinton?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Well, I wouldn't have noticed this if it wasn't already nominated in the Comedy Goldmine.

First of all, thank you so much, Naso, for using one of my worst photos on record from a year and a half ago with my longer hair.

Secondly, I am certainly a "city guy" but by no means am I an elitist and just because I haven't hunted or fired a gun doesn't mean that I am out of touch. It also doesn't mean that I won't eventually do those things at some point in time. And, yes, I haven't seen Forrest Gump. I was movie deprived as a child and I still am. I don't think that would turn off many voters though.

By the way, Naso, you say I have no law enforcement or military experience. Ok, well neither do you. And don't say, "Oh, but I will!" because this scenario can't just be a Naso Fantasy.

Finally, you complain about assumptions yet do the same here. Where the hell did you get the idea that I've never fished? I live across the street from a creek and used to go down there to fish with one of my good friends all the time during the summer.

I just hate the way you insult middle America. You say whenever you think of Ohio, you think "trashy". How can you NOT be an elitist?

Plenty of people hate Ohio. Have you seen the website gobacktoohio.com? I hate seeing Ohioans coming down to Charleston every summer and ruin our heavenly way of life.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

No way does John Edward get the nomination. Phil wins in a walk.

John Edwards? Are you insane?

To Naso's defense, he's no liberal, smooth talking, pretty southern boy with tons of charm.