Type in your accent.

[Phony Moderate]

When ordering an Arnold Palmer a few months ago:

"An Arrnuld Parmur plhease."

[Miles]

Where y'at, dawlin? Here's how we tawk in Nawlins. For Mardi Graw we went to catch beads on da nutra ground side of da street. But my gawd, ya'll, somma dem girls were hawt. Then we went to go have crawfish and ersters ova by ma maw-maw an dem. Anyways, we didn't go up da road to Metry.

[Psychic Octopus]

Like... bro... That's hella cool, man. Hella cool. This thread is... like... soooo legit. SOOO LEGIT. Like... this is how we talk here in Cali-Forn-Nia. Sorry, this has been dope, but I've gotta take the bridge over to A, T, 'n T Park. Giants are playing, 'n they've got Buster Posey, who's SUPER SICK.

That's my best try...

[Platypus]

I reed priddey much aul ov theeze in a scottish acksent.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

My accent is just too atrocious to type.

If you don't believe me, ask Franzl.

[windjammer]

I know my english may be flawed. But my accent: LOOOOOOOL.

[afleitch]

I reed priddey much aul ov theeze in a scottish acksent ?

Fixed

[Holmes]

I say bag-ul when I say bagel.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Ben-gaz-eee.

[Anti Democrat Democrat Club]

THIS IS OUAH F***IN' CITY

[Cranberry]

I think I don't really have an accent while speaking English.
Anyway, I could write in my German accent, for the amusment of other German-speaking people here, but nah, that wouldn't be the point in this thread, would it?

[Platypus]

I reed priddey much aul ov theeze in a scottish acksent ?

Fixed

Nah, that's maw ov a Sydney thing, maybe Qwoinsland too.

[kcguy]

My accent is pretty standard Midwestern, with a few exceptions.

One oddity is that my mom is from Philly, so I have some un-Midwestern vowel+"r" words.  For example, I pronounce "carry" with roughly the same vowel as "cat".  Also, I pronounce "foreign" and "horrible" with the same vowel as "sorry" or "car".

For the same reasons, I also tend to distinguish between "caught" and "cot".  "Cot" is much more of a simple vowel, while "caught" is more of a diphthong.  However, I did not pick up my mom's "wawk the dawg".

I don't know where this comes from, but I sometimes replace a "t" with a glottal stop.  For example, I tend to say "Manha'an".

One vocabulary word unique to KC is my term for a road paralleling a highway.  I call it an "outer road".

On top of everything else, my mother's parents were non-Bundesrepublik Germans, so I've picked some random twice-removed "German" words and phrases that are probably unknown in Germany, or anywhere else.  (I could say my basement has been like a hunstall all winter, but I'd probably sound like a stritzy with all my nattischkeit.)

[Indy Texas 🇺🇦🇵🇸]

I'm told that I pronounce "we're" somewhat like "were." Is that associated with a particular region? I don't do it with other words like "here" or "hear." (You won't hurr me say, "Y'all gon' make me ac' a fool up in hurr, up in hurr.")

[angus]

Ah jist thought it micht be a guid idea if wi a' had a wee chat in oor native brougue. Nothin' tae complicatit jis a bit'a banter mind. See if aybody can un'erstaun whit's goan on. Cannae hae the thread gettin tae mauckit though, sae try an be consistant. Okay so thur micht be a wee bit'a exaggeration gaun oan. Maist aes probably no' talk in as strong an accent an a' that. In fact typing lak this makes me soun' lak a tartan crooner fae Fife ur Aberdeen; in short a numptie wae a glaikit coupin spoutin oot a pile'a keich (Nae tha' a' dinnae dae that a'readly mind ) when actually I speak mair, well if ye've heard me mair middle class, Kelvinside, Ewan MacGregor/James McAvoy like ye ken rather than like tha spoof Broonites strip in Private Eye (ah expect Al tae ken whit a mean). Well it's mair pleasin' on tha tongue Aye sae throw in a few wee choice words that dinnae make sense lak ah did there. But nae tae much.

Richt, who's next?

okaaae, but hahd'ya do it?  Iwuz thinking that it'd be diffikult, butts even more diffikult than I'd imagind it'd be.  We all probly reedstuff the way we think, which is ta say the way we talk, but ta type that way is hard, doncha think?

Bytha waaae, ya now sound like a skott.  Seriously deep skott.  I'dsorta figyurd yer English, from your shield an all, but now it's ovyeus thacher skottisch.

[Хahar 🤔]

I have to say, my only real exposure to Scottish accents comes from Chvrches.

[badgate]

I'm told that I pronounce "we're" somewhat like "were." Is that associated with a particular region? I don't do it with other words like "here" or "hear." (You won't hurr me say, "Y'all gon' make me ac' a fool up in hurr, up in hurr.")

What about ten/tin or Ben/bin

[Franzl]

My accent is just too atrocious to type.

If you don't believe me, ask Franzl.

No wonder if you're native language doesn't have any vowels!

Seriously, I don't remember it being particularly atrocious

[Sol]

I don't know where this comes from, but I sometimes replace a "t" with a glottal stop.  For example, I tend to say "Manha'an".

That's actually a pretty common thing, to one degree or another, in many dialects- I certainly have it there, either as a glottal stop or a unreleased t.

[DC Al Fine]

I went to the liquor stur to pick up a twofer. I asked for Keit's but they didn't know what I was talken aboot, so I went back to my hose.

[ZuWo]

My mother tongue doesn't have voiced plosives and the labio-velar approximant /w/ so in a weak moment I might "tent" to say "willage" and "vater" instead of village and water. 

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I really hope that yous guise don't take this thread too seriusly. 

[Comrade Funk]

Yo, does anybody got some wudder? I'm thirsty.

[Tender Branson]

Depends what you want to read in my Salzburg/Austrian/German kind of dialect ...

The problem with my English is that I almost never use it in real life, only on English-speaking Internet sites like here.

I think it's pretty good, but a native English speaker will definitely hear my accent out - even though it's not nearly as bad as Arnold Schwarzenegger's for example ...

[DC Al Fine]

Depends what you want to read in my Salzburg/Austrian/German kind of dialect ...

The problem with my English is that I almost never use it in real life, only on English-speaking Internet sites like here.

I think it's pretty good, but a native English speaker will definitely hear my accent out - even though it's not nearly as bad as Arnold Schwarzenegger's for example ...

Can you record yourself saying "Get to the chopper!" please?