Iran’s president Raisi and Foreign Minister Abdollahian killed in helicopter crash

[America Needs R'hllor]

I know there will be champagne corks going off in Washington and Tel Aviv, but this is very sad. He was the legitimate head of state on a diplomatic mission. And the world has only Iran's restraint to thank for the fact that WWIII didn't break out after the wanton attack on its embassy last month.

I personally would not claim a moral high ground by being sad that the Executioner from Tehran is dead, but I don’t have Jill Stein 2024 in my signature, so clearly I know nothing about properly shilling for imperialism and for fundamentalist mass murderers

Yes, I know my sig will not make me more popular. But I am quite happy with the moral implications of advertising my support for Jill Stein, who has never ordered or voted for the murder of anyone, unlike our major party candidates, Trump and Biden.

I am not saying if you support either of those candidates you are a bad person. People support different politicians for many reasons, and most people understandably support someone they think has a realistic chance of winning. Still, we do theoretically live in a democracy, and it is true insofar as if everyone did the right thing, we wouldn't have to make a choice between "bad or worse".

All you advertise when you say you support Jill Stein is that you support Russia slaughtering hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians for vain imperialistic conquest. That woman is a Kremlin propagandist. Not a hyperbole, she repeats the Putin line to a T and has attended a rally against Ukraine with people like Jackson Hinkle and Cynthia McKine in 2023. Instead of flaunting your privilege by supporting a third party, ask the Israeli far right (or any other of the worst political groups on earth) who they want to get elected in November if you want to know who you should support. They are desperately waiting for Trump. If you people give him to them, I and history will never forgive you.

Anyway, the witch and his Foreign Minister are dead!

[pppolitics]

https://twitter.com/IrnaEnglish/status/1792397601649918302

[philly09]

Aaaaaaaand, it's official.
https://twitter.com/AP/status/1792413152581144906

[Logical]

I am hearing that as his helicopter tailspinned over the mountains of Arasbaran, President Raisi received the light of Islam and unhesitatingly recited the Shahāda. Even now he looks down on the Ummah from the gardens of Jannah. Truly there is no god but Allah, Mohammad is his prophet and Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq his rightfully chosen successor!

[No War, but the War on Christmas]

Can’t imagine that Iran is looking forward to holding elections in 50-odd days, assuming the constitutional order is followed, a little over a year after the rebellions.

Not that any legitimate or even halfway decent reformists will be allowed to run in all likelihood.

[2952-0-0]

https://twitter.com/hdagres/status/1792214140099981530

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

RIP massive HPs, but cooking to death inside the helicopter would have been a horrible way to go had it lasted for very long, so I hope they at least died quickly.

[All Along The Watchtower]

Think Aliyev will be haunted by this, lol

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Think Aliyev will be haunted by this, lol

I hope he is. Almost as vile as most of his neighbors.

[Dr. Cynic]

Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish.

Not that it'll matter. Some other horrible jagoff will just get the job, anyway. Not like Iran would ever get a Reformist President out of it.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

This is an even bigger own than when MATTROSE94 was banned!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

[Rubensim]

In here before iran blame israel

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Having gotten the genuine humane sentiment out of the way, some jokes I've made, or seen others make, over the past hour:

"The devil works hard, but the Jewish space laser works harder."
"The Yellowjackets season 3 viral marketing is off to a great start!"
"There is a passionate affair going on between Raisi and the mountain."
"Ayatollahs in the Mist."

[Logical]

Here's another esoteric Shia joke

In 1445 A.H, a nascent Shi'ite offshoot emerged — the Raʾīsiyya — proclaiming that Iranian president Ebrahim Raisi was in fact alive and healthy, discreetly roaming the mountain ranges of Dizmār following his helicopter crash. Though it has been several decades since his demise, adherents to this cult adamantly reject such claims and proclaim that the former president is fine and well and that he is the only rightful ruler of Iran, nay, the rest of the Muslim world. His sustenance, they believe, is from two rivers of milk and honey that miraculously sprouted from the ground after the crash. They commemorate its anniversary by embarking on a pilgrimage to the mountain range where they cry aloud begging for his reappearance.
 

[lfromnj]

Mossad agent Eli Koptor did this with the help of Dens fag.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

While this was a tragedy, it's important to have a sense of humor.
Anyhow, a relatively less troublesome Iran is still a vital piece of keeping global stability relatively preserved. The government of Iran, as bad as it is, could do worse if it actually wanted to.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

What's Farsi for 'Mull of Kintyre'?

[Middle-aged Europe]

LOL

https://twitter.com/CharlesMichel/status/1792438047058890987

[EastAnglianLefty]

What's Farsi for 'Mull of Kintyre'?

I'm not that broken up about it either, but that's still a weird kink.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

LOL

https://twitter.com/CharlesMichel/status/1792438047058890987

Good move from the EU.

[Flyersfan232]

Can’t imagine that Iran is looking forward to holding elections in 50-odd days, assuming the constitutional order is followed, a little over a year after the rebellions.

Not that any legitimate or even halfway decent reformists will be allowed to run in all likelihood.

the "reformists" are controlled opposition

[Meclazine for Israel]

Mossad don't miss.

[Hindsight was 2020]

[SnowLabrador]

RIP massive HPs, but cooking to death inside the helicopter would have been a horrible way to go had it lasted for very long, so I hope they at least died quickly.

This. I'm pretty scared for what comes next though.