Is it ever justifiable to spank your child?

[Mine the Strait]

Never justifiable, but sometimes understandable on certain occasions when a kid does something truly reprehensible that sets the parent into a fit. If you hit your kid in a rare moment of sudden anger, that's forgivable. What I find unbelievably creepy is the passionless way that some conservative parents apparently dole out physical punishment, as if it's just another chore.

What if it’s a last resort punishment? For example, let’s say you ground your kid and/or take away their tablet, and they respond by yelling and crying nonstop to try to get you to suspend their punishment. Would a light spanking be justifiable in that circumstance?

When a kid is throwing a tantrum like this, I think the better response is to just let them wear themselves out and act unfazed by it. If you lose your temper with them in response it just teaches them that problems are solved by heightened emotions, which isn't true. Still understandable why a parent would lose their cool, but I'm not going to do it with my kids. I don't imagine it'd even occur to me as an option.

[Ferguson97]

I feel like it’s pretty instinctual to use proportional levels of violence as a means of discouraging undesirable behavior

If those are your instincts, then I hope you don't have children.

Violence should never be used against children as a form of discipline. Ever.

It doesn't matter if you're slapping them, spanking them, burning them with a cigarette, or whatever.

It's unacceptable.

[OSR stands with Israel]

In other words “are you white or non white”

[Schumer can go f*** himself!]

In other words “are you white or non white”

[OSR stands with Israel]

In other words “are you white or non white”

Whites are probably more likely to believe that any form of spanking is child abuse than non whites . Like it’s very possible that white conservatives are more likely to believe this is child abuse than non white democrats (especially true for Asians)

[Mine the Strait]

In other words “are you white or non white”

Whites are probably more likely to believe that any form of spanking is child abuse than non whites . Like it’s very possible that white conservatives are more likely to believe this is child abuse than non white democrats (especially true for Asians)

Possibly true, but not an argument in favor of hitting your kids.

[Del Tachi]

Never justifiable, but sometimes understandable because parenting isn't easy and sometimes people are just overwhelmed. However if it becomes a recurring pattern or reaches a certain pain threshold it turns into child abuse.

See, I feel these are the situations where spanking is a bad idea.  An adult should never hit a child out of anger or desperation, but it can be acceptable if there's an appropriate ritual surrounding it.

[Del Tachi]

It doesn't matter if you're slapping them, spanking them, burning them with a cigarette, or whatever.

One of these things is very unlike the others LOL

[Mine the Strait]

Never justifiable, but sometimes understandable because parenting isn't easy and sometimes people are just overwhelmed. However if it becomes a recurring pattern or reaches a certain pain threshold it turns into child abuse.

See, I feel these are the situations where spanking is a bad idea.  An adult should never hit a child out of anger or desperation, but it can be acceptable if there's an appropriate ritual surrounding it.

What? It’s so much creepier to structure some kind of “ritual” around physical abuse than it is to just do it in the heat of the moment. “Honey, be home at five for your spanking appointment” sounds weird as hell.

[DaleCooper]

It doesn't matter if you're slapping them, spanking them, burning them with a cigarette, or whatever.

One of these things is very unlike the others LOL

Not to sheltered people, it isn't.

[Del Tachi]

Never justifiable, but sometimes understandable because parenting isn't easy and sometimes people are just overwhelmed. However if it becomes a recurring pattern or reaches a certain pain threshold it turns into child abuse.

See, I feel these are the situations where spanking is a bad idea.  An adult should never hit a child out of anger or desperation, but it can be acceptable if there's an appropriate ritual surrounding it.

What? It’s so much creepier to structure some kind of “ritual” around physical abuse than it is to just do it in the heat of the moment. “Honey, be home at five for your spanking appointment” sounds weird as hell.

The "ritual" aspects of spanking are doing things like explaining to your kid what they did wrong, telling them they're about to get a spanking, giving it to them in private, and then allowing them some time alone to reflect on their behavior.  These guardrails help parents not go overboard when doling out physical punishment as much as it reinforces to the child the "why" of what's happening to them. 

[DaleCooper]

I also object to how liberally everyone's throwing around words like abuse or violence. Maybe it's technically accurate to say that a spankin is violent, but then so is flicking someone on the nose. So is hitting someone with a pillow. There's an epidemic in American society of people broadening those definitions as much as possible in order to get some of the perks that come with being seen as an abuse survivor, and that seems to happen a lot in these discussions. But we're not talking about a drunken father wielding a baseball bat. We're not even talking about a tyrannical or even just excessive parent either. As far as punishments go, it's basically just a slap on the wrist, and probably less painful even than that, lol.

The key is that no one is actually damaged by this. It's just one of many different ways for parents to punish bratty kids and maybe it'll work and maybe it won't. It depends on the situation and the personalities involved.

[courts]

I feel like it’s pretty instinctual to use proportional levels of violence as a means of discouraging undesirable behavior

If those are your instincts, then I hope you don't have children.

Violence should never be used against children as a form of discipline. Ever.

It doesn't matter if you're slapping them, spanking them, burning them with a cigarette, or whatever.

It's unacceptable.

still have ptsd flashbacks from my dad hitting me

[VBM]

I feel like it’s pretty instinctual to use proportional levels of violence as a means of discouraging undesirable behavior

If those are your instincts, then I hope you don't have children.

Violence should never be used against children as a form of discipline. Ever.

It doesn't matter if you're slapping them, spanking them, burning them with a cigarette, or whatever.

It's unacceptable.

?
It's literally a scientific fact. Practically any mother of any species will bite/swipe at their children if they're engaging in bad behavior. I'm not saying it's always the best punishment for human children too. I was just refuting the idea that spanking is somehow unnatural behavior that mainstream media teaches people to engage in (it's literally the exact opposite of reality).

[Ferguson97]

Whites are probably more likely to believe that any form of spanking is child abuse than non whites . Like it’s very possible that white conservatives are more likely to believe this is child abuse than non white democrats (especially true for Asians)

And? What's your point?

One of these things is very unlike the others LOL

All three things can be bad without being equally bad.

The "ritual" aspects of spanking are doing things like explaining to your kid what they did wrong, telling them they're about to get a spanking, giving it to them in private, and then allowing them some time alone to reflect on their behavior.  These guardrails help parents not go overboard when doling out physical punishment as much as it reinforces to the child the "why" of what's happening to them. 

If your child is old enough to understand reason, then just use reason instead of physical discipline.

The key is that no one is actually damaged by this. It's just one of many different ways for parents to punish bratty kids and maybe it'll work and maybe it won't. It depends on the situation and the personalities involved.

I don't know why you're acting as if this is some unanswered question, but studies overwhelmingly show that spanking has negative impacts on children.

It's literally a scientific fact. Practically any mother of any species will bite/swipe at their children if they're engaging in bad behavior. I'm not saying it's always the best punishment for human children too. I was just refuting the idea that spanking is somehow unnatural behavior that mainstream media teaches people to engage in (it's literally the exact opposite of reality).

Why should humans look to animals to model their behavior for anything? We are the most intelligent species on the planet. I'd like to think that we can come up with a more sophisticated form of discipline for children than hitting them.

[VBM]

It's literally a scientific fact. Practically any mother of any species will bite/swipe at their children if they're engaging in bad behavior. I'm not saying it's always the best punishment for human children too. I was just refuting the idea that spanking is somehow unnatural behavior that mainstream media teaches people to engage in (it's literally the exact opposite of reality).

Why should humans look to animals to model their behavior for anything? We are the most intelligent species on the planet. I'd like to think that we can come up with a more sophisticated form of discipline for children than hitting them.

I never said we should. I was just saying that it’s bizarre for Ontario Tony to claim that people are “conditioned” to spank their children when it’s clearly an instinctual behavior. Pain is one of the greatest teachers, so obviously a lot of people would naturally default to inflicting pain to teach someone to not engage in certain behavior.

[Del Tachi]

One of these things is very unlike the others LOL

All three things can be bad without being equally bad.

...yes, and that spanking is not equally bad as beating or buring your children is exactly why it's sometimes justifiable and those other methods are not. 

The "ritual" aspects of spanking are doing things like explaining to your kid what they did wrong, telling them they're about to get a spanking, giving it to them in private, and then allowing them some time alone to reflect on their behavior.  These guardrails help parents not go overboard when doling out physical punishment as much as it reinforces to the child the "why" of what's happening to them. 

If your child is old enough to understand reason, then just use reason instead of physical discipline.

I don't buy this.  Kids can understand from an early age the concept of "rules"; what they lack is proper impulse regulation to keep themselves in check.  Physical punishment can cement the idea that bad decisions often cascade into painful consequences, thus helping them develop this type of impulse control. 

Why should humans look to animals to model their behavior for anything? We are the most intelligent species on the planet. I'd like to think that we can come up with a more sophisticated form of discipline for children than hitting them.

I dunno.  But wasn't the fact that there are gay penguins something liberals loved bring up about 10-15 years ago?  The Bible also says we should spank our children, so I'm not looking for justification from the animal kingdom.

[politicallefty]

I don't think it is, but as others have noted, it is understandable when acting under intense emotions. I don't think it's abuse, but it isn't too far off. Striking a child with a belt or other instrument would definitely reach the threshold for child abuse in my view though.

Parents can be more creative than hitting though. My mom's preferred method for us was standing in the corner for a specified or unspecified length of time (or just whenever she felt like letting us off). I can assure it that it was far more unpleasant than spanking.

[DK_Mo82]

Corporal Punishment of children is assault, of people who have no access legal recourse, one of those things just beyond me is why people accept it, if I slapped you at the convenience store I get a misdemeanor.

[Mr. Illini]

Agree with what DT says. Most people have it backwards. Hitting your kid in a fit of rage is not justifiable. You did it because you couldn’t control your emotions, not because you’re delivering a punishment that is clear to the child. Using spanking as a routine form of punishment is far more justifiable than hitting your kid out of rage.

My parents are pretty old school so I was spanked, given a slap on the face, given soap or hot sauce. Never anything more than that. I don’t think it had much of an impact on me.

I probably wouldn’t do it to my kids if I have any because I’m not sure it’s necessary, but I’m not going to call it universally unjustifiable. Obviously anything that could be considered “beating” is completely unjustifiable.