2024: Joseph Biden/Kamala Harris vs. Donald Trump/Mike Pence vs. Walter White/Jesse Pinkman
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  2024: Joseph Biden/Kamala Harris vs. Donald Trump/Mike Pence vs. Walter White/Jesse Pinkman
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Author Topic: 2024: Joseph Biden/Kamala Harris vs. Donald Trump/Mike Pence vs. Walter White/Jesse Pinkman  (Read 1044 times)
WalterWhite
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« on: March 26, 2023, 08:14:22 PM »

The year is 2024. Joseph Biden's approval rating is low, but so is Donald Trump's. The American people are ready for a true alternative. In this election, a dark horse candidate is doing surprisingly well in polling: Walter Hartwell White, a high school chemistry teacher from Albuquerque, New Mexico. His vice president is an unlikely pick: Jesse Bruce Pinkman, one of Mr. White's former students and current methamphetamine addict; however, sources close to White have confirmed that Pinkman has undergone therapy to lessen his methamphetamine usage.

While many fear that Pinkman's drug habits would cost the White/Pinkman ticket their election, this analysis demonstrates that even with Pinkman's methamphetamine addiction considered, the White/Pinkman ticket should be optimistic about their chances of reelection.

Forecast

This forecast calls for an overwhelming Electoral College sweep from the White/Pinkman ticket, winning every single state in the country by an overwhelming margin. In addition, this forecast calls for the District of Columbia to vote for the White/Pinkman ticket, which would be the first time in D.C. history that the district has voted against the Democrat for POTUS.



While some may view this forecast as too optimistic for Walter White (especially with his vice presidential ticket and lack of experience), interviews across the country indicate widespread admiration for Walter White. Not only is Walter White a chemistry teacher, he is also a successful businessowner and chemical engineer; he produces pure, high-quality products that help stimulate brain and physical activity, and give people feeling of euphoria. His product is a big hit among people across the Southwest; however, it has spread to other parts of the country and become a nation-wide phenomenon. In addition, many people in every state have tried copying Walter White's products, many of whom have been busted and arrested (likely for intellectual property rights violations), further indicating the momentum of the White/Pinkman campaign.

Additionally, Walter White has prominent connections that would serve him well among key demographics. His brother-in-law is Henry Schrader, a DEA agent, which would help him among "tough on crime" voters; additionally, he is currently employed by Gustavo Fring for Los Pollos Hermanos, who also has connections to law enforcement. Further strengthening his law enforcement ethos is his connection to Michael Ehrmantraut, a former Philadelphia police officer. For people who are not receptive to "tough on crime" messaging, Walter White also has connections to Saul Goodman, a criminal lawyer from Albuquerque who is very popular among certain subcultures. The appeal of his vice presidential candidate, Jesse Pinkman, also overlaps heavily with Saul Goodman's appeal; moreover, Pinkman's protective instincts around children would serve him very well amongst voters who are parents. Pinkman's coattails have also made Walter White an extremely popular candidate for drug dealers; without exception, every single drug dealer in the country said they would support Walter White for President.

Walter White has created an unlikely coalition: one filled with law enforcement members and supporters, disaffected Americans, drug dealers, and drug addicts. His strong support amongst these groups has certainly had an impact amongst the populace. With both police officers and drug dealers supporting Walter White, is it a surprise that many have been pressured into supporting the White/Pinkman ticket? With the majority of Americans dissatisfied with both political parties, it is a surprise that many want to support the Independent ticket (White/Pinkman)? For many Americans on both sides of the law (as well as many working-class, elderly, young, and sick Americans), Walter White and Jesse Pinkman are the only ones who understand their concerns.
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