Psychology Today: 63% of all US men 18-29 single, general sexual intimacy approaching 30-year low

[Ferguson97]

One thing not being talked about enough IMO is how within this age group, there are twice as many single men as women. I have a fleeting suspicion that a lot of 18-29 women are dating amongst themselves, which I only making it harder for men to date.

You seem to assume that lesbians have like doubled in population all of the sudden which there is no proof of as far as I'm aware. It seems likelier that more women that age are dating older men if anything.

If the data produces a seemingly impossible result, then the response shouldn't be "what narrative can we come up with to make the data seem reasonable?" but that the data is probably incorrect.

I can buy that there are more <30 lesbian relationships than <30 gay relationships. I can even buy that there's a rising number of <30 women dating >30 men. But not the extent that there would be this massive gap between the number of single men and single women.

[Ferguson97]

As for the issue at the heart of this thread, it's catastrophic for society. Young men having nothing to live for will result in more mass shootings and crime and general instability. A lot of it can be blamed on the young men themselves but they've also been set up to fail in many ways so it should be no shock that they're growing up to be pathetic, lonely, and aimless. If American society demonized young women and girls the way it does young men and boys, Atlas would (rightfully) be having a fit over it.

What planet are you living on where young men are demonized more than young women? Young women are criticized for every single decision they make, and young men are afforded every chance and benefit of the doubt wherever they do.

[Ferguson97]

L. O. F-cking L.

You can point me towards a couple of judges that have given rich young men lenient sentences, but other than that, you've got nothing. Every prominent institution in this country, particularly corporate America (especially the media!) and academia, has been all in on "The future is female" feminist bullsh-t for the better part of the past decade.

You are genuinely detached from reality if you believe that American society favors women over men. Our society is a patriarchal one. And if one of your main “arguments” is the prominence of performative language from cooperations—you should realize that you don’t have a whole lot of substance to back up your argument.

I don’t think that you’re stupid enough to really think that the occasional lenient sentence from a judge is the only luxury that young men enjoy today. By virtually every metric, it is better to be a man in America than a woman.

Some of the most basic and universal aspects of the male experience have been demonized as "toxic masculinity".

Such as?

Your people have been shaming boys and men in this country simply for being boys and men, and to make matters worse, the right has exploited your stupidity. God help this country, or damn it, depending on how pessimistic I'm being.

Oh lord, are you really going to go to the “boys will be boys” line? Lmao

I think you need to stop watching Andrew Tate videos.

[Ferguson97]

The fact that your immediate response to me is to accuse me of being a fan of a perverted, sex-trafficker rapist simply because I call out the left for demonizing and assuming the worst of men is pretty telling. This is what I mean when I talk about the left being completely unpalatable to men. For the past decade the mainstream left has been treating every man as a potential rapist and every boy as a potential rapist in the making. This is especially true on campuses and academic environments, which are already geared towards women.

If your views of gender roles are indistinguishable from that of Andrew Tate’s, I think it’s fair to wonder if you have been influenced by him. But fair enough, you came to hold these terrible beliefs by some other way.

And yes, boys will be boys. That's in their nature. I don't know when or why the left decided that that line was a defense of rape. I'm sure some crazy Republicans have used it in that context, but usually it's just used to refer to boys being brash, crass, silly, gross, or rough with each other. All of which are completely normal parts of boyhood that the left hates.

I find it odd that you’re able to identify the ways in which men are harmed by the patriarchy, but then go on to argue that these conditions are not only desirable, but “natural”.

And please don’t give me that “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” bullcrap.

The “boys will be boys” line has been used to justify crappy behavior from men towards women countless times. When a boy pulls a girls pigtails, instead of telling her “oh that means he likes you”, we should be telling the boy that doing that isn’t an acceptable way of expressing your feelings.

I often hear the left whine about how patriarchy is preventing men from getting in touch with their emotions and being more sensitive, but that has nothing to do with it. Most men aren't sensitive and they don't want to be sensitive. The left basically just complains that men don't act more like women.

I’m very sorry that you haven’t had a positive male role model to look up to, but there are a lot of men who are very sensitive and in touch with the their emotions. This is a good thing! Being closed off and emotionally distant is bad! I’m very lucky to have had a father who taught me to talk about my problems and that it’s okay for men to cry.

And again, I’m not sure how you can simultaneously bemoan the fact that men aren’t “allowed” to speak their mind or express their emotions, and also argue that they shouldn’t express those emotions.

That line of thinking is no different than men whining about how their women want to talk too much or how women expect men to read their minds. And you can babble about patriarchy all you want, but women can say whatever they want about men and get away with it, while a man will get disciplined or even fired for the most PG Home Improvement jab at women.

Again, you are not tethered to reality. You genuinely believe that a woman could say anything in the office and not face consequences? That she could sexually harass a co-worker and nothing would happen?

Everyone knows this, especially employed people.

Well as an employed person, I can’t personally say that I “know this”.

This disagreement is pretty irrelevant, because the overall point still stands. Your people are completely failing to reach male voters and the right is succeeding. Surely you agree with me that the country would be better off if men weren't flocking to the right and to men like Tate.

I don’t believe that you when you say that you believe this. I think you’re a sexist at best and an incel at worst.

So you'd think some self-reflection would be valuable to your side here to figure out why you're failing.  

Has it ever occurred to you that sexist men are flocking to the right because the right promotes sexism?

And do you extend that same line of thinking to the right? Why are they failing to win over women?

Blaming women for the increased gender polarization in politics is just pathetic. It’s like blaming racial minorities for white people becoming increasingly Republican.

[Ferguson97]

If your explanation for what has been typical male behavior for millennia is that the "patriarchy" has been tricking men across all cultures into being mean then your worldview has reached a degree of retardation that competes even with QAnon.

You desperately need to take an anthropology or gender studies class at your local community college. To deny that sexism has been pervasive in all of human history is to deny reality. If anything, your worldview is the one that requires the same leaps and bounds in logic that QAnon style thinking does.

And no, the patriarchy has not been "tricking" men, that's not what I've implied at all. Many men oppress women because they want to.

If you deny the existence of the patriarchy, then why has basically every society made women second class citizens until very recently - and why do many continue to treat them as such?

You can call me a sexist incel all you want, but the only reason I am bringing all of this up is because I am very worried about a second Trump presidency. I don't care much at all about any of the men who are too embarrassing to go out and find a woman or who are too weak to overcome liberals demanding they be more sensitive, but people like you demonizing not only half the country but also a lot of your own damn voters is making that more and more likely by the day.

So your thesis is that young men are flocking to the GOP because a girl with blue hair called them sexist or something?

And what do you mean why is the right failing to win over women? The right is nothing but a bunch of disgusting perverts who hate women, of course they're failing to win over most of them. And I'm not blaming women for men flocking to the right, I'm blaming people like you, lol.

Well considering I am a man, wouldn't it be pretty silly of me to be spreading an anti-men message?

[Ferguson97]

I've never denied sexism exists now or in the past and I never said that men are fleeing the Democratic party because an irrelevant blue-haired fat girl called them sexist. But by all means, continue to be dumb, continue to lose winnable elections, continue to make no effort whatsoever to reach easily persuadable voters. Just please keep your ugly crocodile tears far away from me when you hand Republicans another chance to put more degenerate perverts on the Supreme Court.

Which elections are Democrats losing because they're being sexist to men? Democrats have won every election cycle since 2016 (sans 2021, which was very obviously do due school closures and inflation).

[Ferguson97]

Republicans won NPV in 2022

Man, this is really gonna be the right's "Hillary won the popular vote" huh?

and flipped the House

A paper-thin, ungovernable majority, achieved only because of the incompetence of the New York Democratic Party. You can hardly count that as a win.

[Ferguson97]

Dale cooper is obviously being ridiculous in this thread but Ferguson responding with asking him to take a gender studies class is lol worthy

Considering how misogynistic most of Altas is, I think the majority of this site could benefit from it.

[Ferguson97]

There is literally one cause of this and it's housing

So we're becoming China where we need to have an apartment or a house to even begin considering to date?
That totally won't end badly!

Huh? What are you even talking about? I personally think that it’s reasonable to want a romantic partner to not be a homeless person.

[Ferguson97]

A large number of men are in fact doomed due to skewed gender ratios, https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2018/world/too-many-men/?utm_term=.16446268a240

A clear cut example of how the patriarchy can harm men too. The One Child Policy could honestly single-handedly cripple China in the long-term.

[Ferguson97]

They haven't enough time to go out and have sex. They are too busy bitching and whining all day on youtube about Woke Marvel, M-She-U, Brie Larson, Kelly-Marie Tran, She-Hulk, the 2016 Ghostbusters, etc.

I find it funny that Ferguson97 thinks it’s ridiculous for people to claim that his wing of the Democratic Party hates men, but he then goes on to recommend a post which insinuates that a majority of 18-29 year old men are sexist incels

If you can't tell that LL's post was a joke, then I really don't know what to say here.

[Ferguson97]

I wonder how much of the rise of this also could be some cultural divide. I do think every man should at least try to be a member of a predominantly female friend group, and Vice versa at some point, because it’s very revealing the different worlds we live in.

I have multiple friend groups of varying gender compositions, and this is definitely something that I've noticed.