Corporal punishment: were you spanked as a child/would you spank your child?

[Dr. MB]

Were you ever spanked or otherwise corporally punished as a kid (by parents, teachers, relatives, etc).? And if you have kids or do in the future, would you use this method of punishment or not?

[No War, but the War on Christmas]

I've actually gotten into some pretty intense discussions with partners of this question, and regardless of all the 'I turned out fine' type people, my answer will always be firmly that corporal punishment is not okay.

My Mom was slapped and spanked in the 60's-70's when a 'firm hand' in that way was more acceptable. Partially due to growing up like this she also never really believed in corporal punishment but was just a good, caring, understanding Mom instead... And I like to think, as is usually confirmed by my Mom and Grandparents, that I was a pretty good kid.

And in the end, the science on early childhood corporal punishment is pretty clear. Kid's don't have the permanance of memory to connect their punishment to the crime before age 4-5 and even afterward are likely to draw the wrong conclusions from being punished in such a way.

It isn't effective and in many cases it can leave lasting scars. If you don't have the ability to rationally communicate with a child, which is possible, then you really shouldn't be parenting.

Is it an all size fits one type thing? Are some children more difficult than others for developmental and psychological reasons? Of course. But overall, I stand by opposing corporal punishment for kids.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

One time when I was about 5, then my parents regretted it and wouldn't even condone the practice. I don't know if spanking was much of a thing for my dad but it had been for my mom and her brothers. She was more outspoken against it because it didn't work in her household nor did it correct my own problem, which thankfully never reemerged even when my parents' marriage was on a sour course.

I do not think it can be justified either morally or scientifically, based on the studies that we have.

[Penn_Quaker_Girl]

My mom slapped me once when I was...I wanna say fourteen (one of those classic conservative mother - rebellious daughter things).  As with Scott, she felt super guilty about it even though, let's face it, I was being a little bratty sh**t and needed a wake-up.  

[Meclazine for Israel]

In the 1970's, it was kill or be killed.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

I hate corporal punishment, but I have never experienced it much at all. I don't think spanking ought to be considered a form of corporal punishment. It can be used as part of it, but they are distinct.
Spanking individual people for individual acts is an option that is open to parental discretion, but the kids themselves can try to evade it, and in doing that they'd also be within their rights.

[Sir Mohamed]

Twice nah.

Not that usual for Muslim families, my dad always used to say that only people running out of arguments use physical violence.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I experienced far too much of it, but I never spanked my child.

[afleitch]

Yes I was.

I remember some of them. And how I felt. The net effect of it wasn't punishment or a short term correction in my behaviour by my memories as an adult. And my mum's regret.

So no I wouldn't use it against my own children.

[Orwell]

I deserved getting spanked, if my kid messes up bad he'll get 10 across the ass.

[GregTheGreat657]

I was never spanked as a kid, and I won’t spank my own kids

[Ferguson97]

I was never spanked as a kid, and I won’t spank my own kids

[Del Tachi]

I was never spanked as a kid, and I won’t spank my own kids

We already knew this.

[Schiff for Senate]

Not 'spanked' per se but rather slapped or ear twisted. My mother does/did so very rarely, honestly always with a good reason and with justification, and she invariably ends up apologising for doing so (it happens very rarely to begin with). She also makes a point to never slap on the face. My father was much more prone to resorting to corporal punishment, but he's now decreased his use of corporal punishment significantly. Even he much of the time has a good reason and I'm in the wrong, but sometimes I do think it's unjustified. On the whole, though, they mostly had good reasons and though I'm increasingly not okay with it, I also recognise that it is often an effective and justified form of punishment. I do think that it would have been better if my father in particular had resorted to corporal punishment less often, but I do absolutely think in some cases, it's justified or even necessary. Voted Option 1 though it's really both Options 1 and 2 (complicated and not necessarily an either-or thing).

As for my own kids, I doubt I'll have any, but I voted for Option 4. I will never lay a hand on them unless it is absolutely warranted, but in extreme circumstances, and if they've done something they know is bad and they've been told not to do it, I might do so. I would absolutely keep it to a minimum and only in the most extreme cases of disobedience, disrespect or bad behaviour.

[Del Tachi]

Spanking is good and proper when there's an appropriate ritual surrounding it.  An adult should never spank a child out of anger or desperation.  Children must be taught that negative behaviors result in negative consequences.   

[John Dule]

There has got to be a decent middle ground between slapping the kid and saying “Hey Zack? Buddy? There are other people in this bookstore, ok? And they’re trying to read? Maybe let’s calm down a little and put the lightsabers back. You can have one of them but you need to choose. Ok? Can you do that for me buddy? Pal?”

[Schiff for Senate]

There has got to be a decent middle ground between slapping the kid and saying “Hey Zack? Buddy? There are other people in this bookstore, ok? And they’re trying to read? Maybe let’s calm down a little and put the lightsabers back. You can have one of them but you need to choose. Ok? Can you do that for me buddy? Pal?”

Yeah, I have no respect for dough face parents who cave into their kids' temper tantrums and give them whatever they demand if they whine or complain for long enough. A little discipline is always good, and if that (occasionally) demands corporal violence, that's fine (occasionally being key - not just slapping or spanking your kid at the drop of your hat, or ever to take out your anger on them, but at the same time knowing when it is appropriate or necessary to keep a misbehaving/disobedient kid in line).

And if forced to choose, I prefer a tiger parent to a dough face parent any day, though some sensible middle ground that applies corporal punishment very rarely or never without caving into the kid's demands if (s)he screams loudly enough, is obviously vastly preferable to both extremes.

[Conservatopia]

Lol. I should have expected that CentristRepublican is still getting spanked by his parents.

Hopefully they will stop when he turns 11.

[Schiff for Senate]

Lol. I should have expected that CentristRepublican is still getting spanked by his parents.

Hopefully they will stop when he turns 11.

a.) I'm older than 11 (though the barb still got a chuckle out of me, I'll admit).
b.) Neither 'spank' me per se, more of a literal slap on the wrist.
c.) Neither employs corporal punishment more than like once every few months, and most of the time, they have good reason.

[Illiniwek]

I was spanked maybe just a couple of times and nothing serious at all. I would not categorize it as having been violent whatsoever.

I do not plan on spanking my children. Our parenting strategy does not use punishments in the traditional sense. We validate feelings and talk through why certain behaviors are not ok.

[FT-02 Senator A.F.E. 🇵🇸🤝🇺🇸🤝🇺🇦]

Every now and then I got slapped if I had done something stupid or wrong, like joining Atlas, but afterwards they're regretful about doing it. I figure I would do the same thing when I eventually become a parent.

[SWE]

There has got to be a decent middle ground between slapping the kid and saying “Hey Zack? Buddy? There are other people in this bookstore, ok? And they’re trying to read? Maybe let’s calm down a little and put the lightsabers back. You can have one of them but you need to choose. Ok? Can you do that for me buddy? Pal?”

If you didn't want your kid to be a little sh**t you shouldn't have named him Zac with a k

[Schiff for Senate]

Every now and then I got slapped if I had done something stupid or wrong, like joining Atlas, but afterwards they're regretful about doing it. I figure I would do the same thing when I eventually become a parent.

Yeah, this, basically.

[It’s so Joever]

Yes and I think my parents did it right. Firstly spanking is THE LAST resort for an unreasonable child. If you just resort to the slap every f**k up, that’s abusive. However if you have talked, tried reasoning, explained the situation, and still are getting no progress and outright defiance simply for the sake of defiance, that’s when you do it. Additionally you ONLY do it at a certain age. At a very young age is obviously a no-no because that is going to do more long term harm. I would say 4-9 is the appropriate range. Before it will be way too traumatizing, after 9 it will simply be ineffective in comparison to punishment such as taking things away (like videogames) However overall you should try and make an environment where your child isn’t breaking those rules in the first place. It’s a tough thing and not every kid is the same, but if you are seeing yourself in situations you have to spank your kids more than occasionally, there is a bigger problem that needs to be addressed.

[Orwell]

I was spanked maybe just a couple of times and nothing serious at all. I would not categorize it as having been violent whatsoever.

I do not plan on spanking my children. Our parenting strategy does not use punishments in the traditional sense. We validate feelings and talk through why certain behaviors are not ok.

Expected from a pussified Ann Arborite this is why China is winning